Is a close relationship possible after a brain injury?

[tunas]

Is it possible

to find a partner

after a brain injury

with no partner?

[Julesstillhere]

Hi Tunas, just Jules here,Yes, it is.... I certainly wasn't looking, but met my husband to be just 18 months after my TBi (that was nearly 10 years ago now and still in love.

I hope you find what your looking for mate,

Kindest

Jules

[cat3]

Hi again Tunas. How have you been since your injury - are you able to get out & about and socialize ? Many of us here have very changed lives owing to inability to cope with excess stimulus (bright lighting, crowds, noise etc.) or because short-term memory issues make word recall a problem. In my case it's mostly a fatigue issue.

I'm quite sociable and chatty for short periods but often start to feel fatigue and panic if trapped in long conversations. There are many challenges for us after brain injury, both in existing and new relationships. But whilst some old friends of mine have moved on, others have been steadfast, and I've made some great friends here on Headway over the past 9 years.

Tell us more Tunas...

Cat x

[tunas in reply to cat3]

Haha, yes I understand the long conversation entrapment situation completely. It is exhausting and there is that anxiety build up!

I have read that many people after a brain injury loose friends, that has been true for me. I luckily have three good friends still who understand me and haven't just dropped me in a bin. I socialise at most once or if I'm lucky twice a month, most of the time I spend in my own world. It's quite a lonely place but I do have family. It just seems like a very long hard road ahead and I would hate to do that all by myself.

[cat3 in reply to tunas]

I've also become quite solitary compared to my previous life. But I talk with my son & daughter every day and see them when they're not working. I'm happy with my own company though and spend loads of time gardening (love mooching round garden centres).

Have you considered voluntary work ? It can give you extra purpose and can be a way into meeting others. I taught English to foreign students for a year or so, .....really satisfying and I met some interesting people.

I hope you find someone Tunas (not easy I'm sure with the distancing this past 18 months) but in the meantime we're always here to talk/listen/laugh ! x

[Kathykathy1]

Yes it is. You may need a different person than the one you might have gone for pre brain injury but then you are different, and life style changes means you will have different needs and priorities now. I have dated someone for 3 years post brain injury and it's different to previous dating but he is the laziest person I've ever known, but means it allows me to rest alot and he welcomes it and I cant get through the day without considerable rest. But your aspirations into the ether for what you need and see what comes. Good luck.

[tunas]

I've just noticed that as soon as I tell someone I'm interested in that I have a brain injury they become disinterested fairly quickly. I am finding it quite difficult but there is the social distancing thing too.

[Fificakes2 in reply to tunas]

Covid is the hardest time to find a new partner. And like you say, it feels like you shouldn't go up and talk to someone, because they be watching their distance.

Personally I find meeting new single men is rather sparse now, and when I meet them, you've got to deal with all the new stresses in having a relationship.

[spideyman in reply to tunas]

I can see exactly were you’re coming from.

I can’t understand it myself as before I suffered a brain haemorrhage I was never like that but as soon as you mention it the excuses begin and you get friend zoned and you never hear from then again.

Dating sites want honesty but only if it’s beneficial to them

[Chelle3069]

Sad to say I've never been able to find or hold onto anyone that sticks by you for long. The novelty for them soon wears off. Family, friends, and partners, even my husband who is now my ex didn't stick by me for long afterward told me he didn't sign up for this crap as he put it not me and walked out. Any relationship I've managed to start has never lasted for long I get too much for them.

[Hidden]

Hi tunas,

Don’t feel that you have to tell anyone you’re interested in about your brain injury. When it’s early days with someone they don’t need to know everything! If things were to head in a direction where a relationship developed, and you feel the time is right, maybe tell them then. The right person will love you for yourself- brain injury and all.

[Plenty]

Sure it’s possible.

Lots of people use dating sites or apps to meet partners.

Go on a date and both people can decide at the end if they want to see each other for another date.

I know a lady with a neurological condition, and she did have a few boyfriends, and possibly down to her mood and fatigue, the relationships didn’t last long.

But she now has a amazing partner who appreciates and realises what fatigues her, when she needs rest, how to plan their lives accordingly.

Maybe similar interests or hobbies could be another idea for meeting people.