Mind changing : Does anyone else suffer with... - Headway


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Mind changing

Purpleclax profile image

Does anyone else suffer with constant mind changing. It drives me mad, one minute I'm decided I'm doing something then the next I've changed my mind. It effects everything, especially relationships one minute their amazing the next I call things off.

Thanks for listening.

23 Replies

Rather than you changing your mind it may be that your linear thinking patterns are 'broken'. Set yourself tasks and repeatedly carry them out, even if you 'change your mind'. It will help train you to keep your attention on one way of thinking, developing cognitive resilience. Just an idea.

Yes big time! I've tried writing lists. But nothing really works to address this. My mind changes priorities to the point of inaction. But when I do get set on a task, it is all consuming until finished, even at the expense of eating, sleeping, etc. I just wish I could get there more often. Ten years on, nothing has changed.

I'm glad I'm not alone and I have had this since my head injury when I was 16 I'm now 44 I don't think it's going anytime soon. Admittley most of my mind changing is often when I agreed to something I did not want to do in the first place. It drives me mad and now I often avoid decision making and spend lots of time on my own. I'm OK with this as on my own is me and my most comfortable.

Up until my brain hiccup I always had to take a lead and decisions had to be certain. Now give me a choice like do I want chips or mash, melt down, I just struggle with any sort of choice.

The trouble is I find myself asking me those very questions, this is why I end up not progressing. Any job (not that I can be employed, so DIY), takes me for ever to start.

Plan's have to be rock solid, no room to change the overall process. I have to have everything in place to begin, which results in buying things that fit my thinking at that particular time, but then my thinking can loose where that thought came from, so I end up with stuff I don't need.

My hall took between demolition and decorating took two years. My kitchen has taken six years in planning, I think at this moment I have everything to start, so I hope I will do it this year???

This is why if I start I have to just keep going, I can't let me have a different idea as that means choice, melt down, inaction, goodness knows when I will be able to sort the mess out??

I don't really have emotions as such, fight, freeze, or flight (very slowly) but not the happy, sad, one's, what is, just is. I think I used to get frustrated, but now, I don't know that I recognise frustration anymore??

I wish I could write thoughts like this on the blooming PIP form!!!

Thank you until I met you guys on this ace forum I always thought it was me that had a slightly different outlook on life and that I was alone. It's nice to know I'm not alone. For me it's relationships I struggle with the most and whether I like the person and want to be with them. One day yes, next day no. I also hate picking food on a menu and often ask someone else to pick the same goes for things for my house. You sound like you have a plan with your house, I think you are fab attempting all those jobs.

I may have a plan, but that has taken six years so far, and there is no guarantee it will happen. In fact, because I mentioned the kitchen, I just looked at a super-duper all singing and dancing tap I bought. It has three tails (connections), now I'm scratching my head try to think what the heck the third tail connects to 🤔?????

That's another year of thunking!

Relationships, I don't think I would find anyone that could cope. My ex wife went running when I stopped her abuse, mainly psychological and financial, I just had to stop the money, and seven years of horror was gone.

I could do with someone that I could check my thinking with, plus the comfort of familiarity. The dog answers back occasionally, but I don't talk dog, the lizzard just sits and stairs at me, as for the goldfish, I'm sure they must know something about plumbing, but they keep stum 😉

Your relationship sounds similar to mine. To be honest I just love being on my own I can't cope with people for long periods of time. I will get another pet eventually as I just love caring for them. Thanks for cheering me up.

You are more than welcome, any time. Now I just need to work the blooming tap out 😂

Lol love it... Mayb the fish can help????? 🤣


Hi, I’d like to suggest that the three tailed tap might be a vented tap. That one tail connects to the cold fill, one goes to a water heater and the other back from that water heater? I’m no plumber but I googled three tail taps and that’s something that was suggested...a third tail for connection to an under sink electric vented water heater...🤔

This might be needed if you had an electric combination boiler rather than a mains gas combi boiler I think...I’m no expert but hope this points you in the right direction. I’m sure a trusted heating engineer / bloke who services your boiler would be able to help 👍🏻

Good luck 😁

I’d also like to have a chat about some of the other points you’ve made above, on relationships and generally life after brain hiccup as you put it...abuse from ex wife etc..need to try and get some more sleep for now though, this has been a pleasant interlude for my insomnia but I’m hoping to catch a few more zzz’s before the sun comes up!

Thanks and sorry to you and Purpleclax for jumping into your conversation...😁😴😴😴

Hi Feathers-78, and sospan, I have worked out the third tail on the tap, it connects back in to the tap and is part of the way the tap is fed by the hot and cold tails 😁

sospan profile image
sospan in reply to Pairofboots

The extra inlet is for filtered water. You would use "regular" cold for non-drinking water and the third for drinking water. You could use it for heated water (e.g. quooker) but they normally have specialist safety taps.

Have to have to a new "bumper sticker" instead of "keep on trucking" "keep on thunking"

Hi, yes!! This is definitely something I have really struggled with over the many years since my accident. I find that part of the problem is not having enough confidence in my own decision - worrying that it is the wrong one and the potential implications of that...even worse when it involves other people (such as my controlling ex wife who used to complain that I’d never make decisions, though part of the reason for that was because she was so controlling and the other being that it’s just REALLY difficult to make a decision someone’s, especially under time pressure!!

I’m now on my own and finding it a bit easier, though still have to mull over something for quite a long time before deciding on it. Makes it tricky with 3 young kids too as they have an expectation that as their Dad I should just know what to do and make the decision(s) without issue...😜

Anyway, I’m really pleased to be part of this ever so inclusive group of likeminded people and to know that there are many of us struggling with similar sh*t...

Keep happy and believe in yourself and your abilities - things will work out 👌🏻

Thank you for getting involved I do love this network of amazing peeps. Like you said I think it's not trusting yourself. I'm even worse now after my idiot user ex husband. I knew on the first date he was not my type but I felt so much pressure from him and more so his mum to move in with me. As I discovered on the divorce to say he was in debt was an understatement and he had been up to stuff. I was not bothered by this bit at all, I recall thinking yes evidence to get rid and we had never kissed since the wedding day as I could not bear him near me. Crumbs writing this I think omg what the hell. The divorce took as long as the short union, it wasn't a marriage in my eyes. I think this is the reason I struggle with decision making more so in relationships. To say he was a liar is an understatement too and as a result I no longer trust.

It takes a while after a really bad experience like that - sounds like you had a rough time - not everyone is bad though. Virtual hugs x

Thank you it's great to meet peoplewho understand. I do worry I'm out to please people all the time as that union was about pleasing him and his mother a few years back I met a guy who initially wanted to store furniture in my house the next min he's moved in not paying anything he didn't work. I recall I didn't want him in my house but again felt I had too. How can I break this awful cycle...............

Oh dear. I'm a bit prone to people pleasing. You can still be kind to people, but try and remember to value yourself, and put your needs first m'dear x

Oh yes, even in the middle of things - I think it's reduced attention? Or I just can't start things because I'm frozen into inaction by the need to decide what to do first. Endless lists help - sometimes!

Yes all the time!. Even though i tell myself to do one thing at a time and try to be strict with myself it still happens qand yes it ruins relationships with others. Not sure what the answer is. I imagine there isnt one

I think it might be related to slow processing speed. I make a decision, it percolates for days then oncei have slowly connected all the dots, I change my mind

I still find decision making a bit of a nightmare. I think the testing said my working memory was knocked by my MTBI.

That's really good I had never thought of that but it makes sense. I have a habit of saying pardon when people ask me things when I have heard them but by saying pardon it gives me time to process a response. I'm so glad I met all you guys on here I use to feel such a freak and odd with my behaviour but it actually seems normal in this world.

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