Visual weirdness. A quest for knowledge.

If you have the time you may want to read my first posts in order to get some perspective.

The visual component to my condition is by far the biggest issue and I've managed to break it down so far into 3 separate parts.

1, Light sensitivity and pattern glare. Optometry issues.

2, Objects, rooms, spaces and faces altering in space and shape. Time and sound have an impact here also. These fit into the 'Alice in Wonderland syndrome.'

The above conditions are well known and there is plenty of information in the research literature. The next issue may trouble a few readers and make them question my sanity. I would be very interested in hearing from anyone who has experienced the following visual descriptions. ( I have discussed the above with my GP, he says this is all outside of his knowledge but he has checked the descriptions and the findings and totally agrees so far. He is looking into what I am going to describe next.)

3, Described in early posts as 'fantastic imagery'. This occurs going into or out of sleep or during meditation practices. It is not dream or imagination, I am conscious and aware of reality.

Geometric patterns, colourful spectacular, altering in shape and circumstance.

Hyper travel into various situations, all other worldly, extremely lucid.

Seeing people, cartoon characters and other 'entities'.

Seeing faces in coloured tunnels

Giant green snakes

Fast moving intricate colours and patterns that form machine-like beings then continuously change into other 'landscapes,' entities and plasmic forms continuously.

HANG ON THERE READER STAY WITH ME

I have discovered that this is a very well described situation and there is currently active research at Imperial College London. Search for Dr Robin Carhart-Harris. It falls under the blanket of research into treating depression using psychoactive substances such as psilocibin from magic mushrooms.

So what I have described above fits exactly with the effects of a substance called DMT. Also called 'The Spirit Molecule' and it is used by 'primitive' cultures around the world. They derive their substance from plants.

Meditation techniques can also produce these effects naturally with practice.

So, as we all have, or are interested in brain injury and the subsequent effects I'm asking if anyone has experienced this.

When it first happened to me I thought I had died, I did'nt care, it was so beautiful and I accepted it.

Some of you may have experienced this and either don't want to talk about it to your doctor, scared that they may think you have gone nuts. You may have told your doctor and they may have prescribed you anti-psychotics or anti depressants etc. Oddly DMT is an anti depressant. However the effects are extremely powerful and will make you question reality itself.

Basically this is brain chemistry, you've damaged your brain and there are going to be effects. DMT is produced by the pineal gland. It regulates circadian rythyms and interacts with many of the body's systems either directly or indirectly.

I would really like to hear from anyone either BI or interested party who have had any experience of this.

[Feebie8]

Im sorry I'm struggling to process stuff more lately there's a lot of info in your post so I'll reread it tomorrow maybe I've experienced other stuff that I haven't realised...

I have experienced hallucinations. When I first hit my head for about three months I was hallucinating when I woke up to pee. I was unable to pull myself out of sleep yet I knew I was getting up to go to the toilet and seeing different things like clowns, cogs, butterflies, velvet wallpaper and other things. I thought it was awesome. I could see where I was going but these hallucinations were inbetween my eyes and what I was looking at (where I was going). I actually sat on the toilet with a cat with orange eyes watching me...I was amazed and elated by it and I could see the wall behind it.

I still experience this to a degree admittedly not as vibrant or interesting as I did. The good thing is I never see or seen anything scary it was all cartoon like and strangely comforting. Interestingly I figured out a couple of weeks ago I never see what I was dreaming about before I wake, it's always something else mostly colours and shapes now but I still get amazed when it happens.

[Hidden in reply to Feebie8]

Yep, that's it alright, the entities. You are not hallucinating. There are many levels to this 'other world'. It's a really hot topic in the science world currently. Talk soon.

[Hidden in reply to Feebie8]

beckleyfoundation.org/2017/...

[Froggiefrog]

Very interesting to hear what you have to say, As ever, my response is purely personal, not from someone with decades of neurological research, but it is from someone with knowledge of communication theory, relating to social, psychological and linguistic issues, mental health and general nursing and a lifetime of a brain related medical condition.

If you accept that we all have our own version of reality, it can be a useful starting point in understanding why your version of it may differ from that described by others, or when what is a part of your existence seems at odds with what others experience. If you see things in a mathematical sense, the same result will always occur ( 1 brain+ 1 stimulus = 1 experience.), so you won't.

The above 'equation' is not irrelevant, but can be too simplistic to help to understand something as complex as neurological function to many.

What people experience in physically the same situation can be different purely due to their understanding of how they see themselves. They may believe they are an individual, affected only by events in a prescribed way, or that they are a construct of their experiences and of how others view them and their reaction to certain stimuli.

Few still believe that experience isn't a part of how we view the world. Cognitive approaches, seeing the brain akin to a computer processor are generally only validated with reference to other factors, although they can be useful as a part of understanding the science of behaviour in the context of more inclusive theory.

The chemistry of the brain is, undoubtedly a complex issue. It is still seen as an area ripe for further study, after all. If people see themselves (as they are entitled to, if they wish) as affected purely by physical events, medicine, drugs etc will be their preferred 'solution', but those seeing themselves as a product of their environment and experience will see professional understanding as the key to discovering to why they think experience things the way they do.

Unfortunately, few who claim to help people understand complex issues do so with a blank canvas. They will have a preferred finding, based on a hypothesis for research, regardless of whether they are prepared to admit it, based on their own area of expertise. We live in a commercial, media attention seeking world, it's just the way it is.

To me, if you accept that experience shapes your own version of reality, it would be consistent for some people's version of it differs greatly from that of others. If you believe that it is a physiological, not psychological issue that explains altered versions of reality, then your answer will come from drugs. In my opinion, if you don't, it won't.

The extent to which we believe in something will greatly affect its chances of a positive effect. Personally...and yes, I said PERSONALLY...I have no confidence whatsoever in 'alternative' medicine', although millions do and good luck to them. The extent to which belief can make something work for you means nothing should be discounted...If someone benefits from something, THAT is what matters, regardless of whether I, or anyone else, thinks it has any merit, or was actually what made the difference. If something works for you, it's right.

As ever, I'm just throwing stuff out there. If it differs from how you see things, it isn't a personal attack, or to suggest I know better..I don't.

[Hidden in reply to Froggiefrog]

Cheers thanks

[Froggiefrog in reply to Hidden]

You're welcome.

[Hidden in reply to Froggiefrog]

beckleyfoundation.org/2017/...

[Froggiefrog in reply to Hidden]

It reads like something that even the authors admit is a long way short of the proof needed to see it as anything more than a possibility. Positive correlation between cause and effect is a well worn phrase when there is nothing more concrete to suggest at present, although many things start out as such before further research etc allow firmer statements to be made.

The fact that work is on- going to see if this theory can be seen as solid enough means that knowing one way or another is a realistic possibility. Something doesn't need to be accepted by anyone to feel real, valid and potentially helpful to someone, of course, but time will tell if this is a scientifically provable circumstance, or one that simply cannot move beyond a possibility of a link between variables and nothing more. Food for thought for sure.

[Hidden in reply to Froggiefrog]

They would'nt be spending so much money on it if they thought there was nothing there. This project has been ongoing for quite some time in the so called 'pseudo-science' world. They had to overcome the political fear of a government to get funding and permission to experiment openly and in the main stream with psycadelic drugs when they have been demonised for decades in favour of big pharma.

It frightens me to think that the neural healing process of many brain injured people has been inhibited by the missunderstanding of the scientific process. I used to work for a medical diagnostic firm and believe me money was the only consideration. Most drugs prescribed have worse side effects than the condition they are used to treat.

I have written a follow up post to this one.

I've enjoyed our chats.

[Froggiefrog in reply to Hidden]

Your background certainly gives an insight most are not privy to. I too have enjoyed exchanging thoughts with someone who seems to grasp that viewing something from a different perspective isn't the recipe for conflict that some appear to think is inevitable. if people all thought the same and in the same way, life would be poorer for it, in my opinion.

[Hidden in reply to Froggiefrog]

Constructive conflict is the only way forwards, the eyes on the ball from different directions.

[Froggiefrog in reply to Hidden]

Constructive is the key word. I do not take offence when people are adamant that the way forward for them is through avenues I myself do not see as fruitful, that would be disrespectful and arrogant, traits I do not believe are appropriate to engagement with others.

I can respect someone's passion in believing in something, especially when it clearly motivates them, without necessarily believing their standpoint would work for me.

Eyes on the ball from different directions, yes, but to stretch the metaphor, both heading towards the same goal, to find yourself where you want to be and find coping strategies for the obstacles in our way.

Sometimes, people's belief in something can make them view others whose path is different as uneducated, naïve, or inferior, examples of which would not be hard to find in other posts on this forum. My own view is that if someone puts something of themselves out there in a place like this you have a duty as a human being to accept that what the person says is true in their own eyes, regardless of how much or how little of what they have to say would be applicable to you, or mirrors how you see things.

Nobody is ever wrong about how they see themselves or how they view things from their own perspective. I do think some posts on this site can come across as quite confrontational, which I think is unnecessary, but some might say that is just how individuals use language and there is no malice in it Perhaps I'm just a delicate flower at the moment!

[Hidden in reply to Froggiefrog]

We must remember that this is a portal for brain injury and if people seem to come across confrontational it can be that they are struggling to come across at all. I've had these experiences myself in real life, light is a big trigger for me and the cohesion between memory and concentration and other cognitive factors break down and I become a jibbering idiot in other peoples eyes. Underneath all that chaos though I am still conscious of what I want to say and I am aware of the brain mechanics falling apart around me, around my consciousness. I used to panic in these situations before I began to unravel the factors involved in these chaotic episodes. The first 14 months after my accident was like this. I did however begin to put many factors together and search for information as to why it was happening. This lead me to optometry and bingo I'm on my way out of the chaos with something as simple as a pair of prescription tinted lenses.

I have noticed that by getting involved in conversations and topics that stimulate the road to recovery, such as my current quest dealing with visual weirdness, the process itself is beneficial for other issues affecting me such as information processing. I feel my abilities are improving and that's good on many levels.

Anyway have a good weekend and thanks for all the input.

[Froggiefrog in reply to Hidden]

I absolutely take your point about confrontational communication being the consequence of injury. I suppose feeling a bit fragile myself at present means I am not as ready to see things in the quite correct way you describe them in my usual, considered way.

The mention you make of involving yourself in topics here certain strikes a chord with me. I too am finding that sometimes, even being able to take in and process what people share here feels useful, not least because it is an ability that is accepted as compromised by my condition, as with many other conditions experienced by contributors here.

I do think that comprehension and expression of thought are vital to my well being, even if it feels like a work in ( slow) progress at times.

The bottom line, for me at least , is that I'm not going to lie about how I feel, or even about how what someone else contributes makes me feel. I do and will continue to take your comment about people's communication issues on board, however, especially in the constructive, non- judgemental way they were expressed.

Take care and hope your weekend is a good one.

[Futurecut]

What is sanity? So yes the description is very similar to nice big doses of psychedelics except that you state you are conscious and aware of reality. With decent hits of dmt there is no reality. Consciousness doesn't fit either. In reality somebody who hasn't been there can not even begin to imagine what it's like it is so bonkers. Their field of imagination is so tiny in comparison to the actual thing they do not have the capability to conceptualise what your describing- you might as well be talking to your cat.

Also to be fair, the inducing trips through meditation and such is mostly BS. maybe, just maybe if you've been a strict monastic monk for 50 years meditating 18 hours a day but I think this may be some kind of self hypnosis. For you it's prob the brain entering a state where the brakes come off.

So I think normally someone's brain requires the drug input to output the visual changes. It does this by recognising patterns and filling in sensory input gaps. Your brain may be messed up in such a way as it's highy stimulated or unfiltered, it lacks the damping down Neuro chemistry. If it was actually the same as drugs, the experience would be totally spiritual and you wouldn't have any concept of reality or consciousness. You wouldn't know what death is. In particular you would lose the concept of self. This is why so many dig it. With no self there's no ego to dictate thoughts and descisions and some find ultimate freedom, hence nirvana concept. My pal had lots of pent up issues relating to his dead father and all the things he wished they'd talked about. It really influenced him, made him a bit mentally ill tbh. Did a big dmt session during which he sorted everything out with his dad, got closure as they say and moved on and up. He just looked like a wailing, crying mess on the sofa to me but we didn't know what was happening inside. There's a ton of interesting stuff out there. I'd start googling joe rogan dmt then go from there. I can't due to this forum go any deeper into drug stuff, after all most people are closed minded traditionalists but the key to anything is research. Some of the neuropsychologists and psychiatrists have some great views.

Good luck inadvertent Psychonaut.

[Hidden in reply to Futurecut]

Hi thanks for the input and advice.

[Hidden in reply to Futurecut]

beckleyfoundation.org/2017/...