My husband's passing

[logic99]

My husband passed away on Christmas eve 2017. It was quite tough looking after him i stoll get haunted by his frail body in my head. I had the mental health nurses out to see me. My husband actually use to be my carer for years as i have a diagnosis of schizophrenia. But because he has been with me ive kept stable enough not to go in hospital. We went through all sorts in our life together ie living in bad areas bad neighbours etc etc. We only married last year in 5th feb 2017 we met in 1999. The wedding day was special. Rod knew his diagnosis of terminal cancer at the time of marriage. He was very emotional. But it was special. I suffer with lack of confidence with my feet issues. But i have jpined a group called smile a while that pick me up on a monday. This morning i have to push myself i get moments of feeling i cant cope. Its hard when im alone. But thank God i got a council bungalow near my parents just before My husband passed away. I prayed for this place. But i cant help feeling lonely sometimes i get overwhelmed. But if im around people that seem ok im fine. Is there anyone that can relate with me on here. Thanks Mandy my dog blake is like a best friend. My sister takes him out at weekends because i dont walk to well.

[cat3]

Mandy, please accept my sympathy for the loss of your husband, Rod. We (those of us with BI) do well to remember what heartache our misfortunes bring for loved ones as well as ourselves.

It'll be so hard for you m'dear, without your man and the unique relationship you shared, but I hope, whilst you mourn, you can accept his passing and start caring for yourself and Blake. It's good you have a caring family close by and I hope you'll continue to manage you own health issues with their support.

Wishing you all you need in coping with your loss and the changes in your life. I hope you can manage to hark back to happier days with Rod as time passes. 💐

All best wishes, Cat x

[logic99 in reply to cat3]

Hi Cat3, Thank you so much for your reply. Today i found out my sister went to pub after we had a meal with church friends. Ive been going to church since rod passed. And i listen to my sister when she said she wouldnt be going to the yacht club afterwards. So i went home at 8. I found out today that my sister did actually meet up with my church friends because jimmy an old friend shown me on a photo. It hurt me. Because im on need of abit of humour. But i havent said anything to her. I just feel sometimes hurt because i listen to much to others. I wouldnt mind about 4 people asked me to go to pub after we had fish and chips. Some people can manipulate others when they are down. But i rise above it. I have to learn not everyone is trueful. Im doing my best and trying not to look vulnerable. I have a quiet nature sometimes but i see the best in people. I like to be kind.

[cat3 in reply to logic99]

Talk to your sister Mandy and tell her how you feel ; people's reasons for doing stuff aren't always as cynical as we suppose ! xx

[logic99 in reply to cat3]

Hi cat3 im ok now. Thanks and yes your right.