One more....: If one more person says to me (about... - Headway

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One more....

MaryLou13 profile image
14 Replies

If one more person says to me (about my husband who sustained a hypoxic brain injury) 'Aw , does he have a carer?', or 'Aw bless him ' ( along with pitying smile and head tilt) or the very most annoying 'awww I bet it's like having another child' I think I might have to bop them square on the nose!

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MaryLou13 profile image
MaryLou13
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14 Replies

It's so tempting, isn't it. It is a horrid, time consuming thing to have to deal with - and you get so fed up with people who think they know what it's like. Go away and punch a cushion or something, if you hit them on the nose you'll probably finish up in jail (although that would a nice rest from being a carer!!).

.... and another thing that I am fed up with. We are a lot further down the recovery route than you but the people who say to me 'I didn't realise he had a problem, I was talking to him OK'. Yes, you were talking to him but he won't remember what you said; yes he seems OK to you in a casual conversation, you didn't have to help him to bed last night because he couldn't remember how to get ready, clean his teeth, take his pills, etc.

steve55 profile image
steve55

marylou im the one with brain injury and when people find out, they start talking to you as if youre a moron, which gets an aggressive response from me.........ive got a brain injury im not fucking stupid,

MaryLou13 profile image
MaryLou13 in reply tosteve55

I hear you! My husband isn't at the stage some others are and can talk about their bi. Never once has it crossed my mind to act any differently. He's had a bi.... Think some people also assume he may be deaf and can't hear or understand what's bring said! Thanks for replying x

steve55 profile image
steve55 in reply toMaryLou13

marylou ive got a hearing aid, wether its a coincidence or not i dont know, i also get tinnitus because to be truthful, the aids useless.

for me im on a journey, my last journey has ended ( when i had my stroke ) and my new one is beginning, we do know where its going to take us, what adventures well have on the way, its both frightening and exciting at the same time.

Alibongo60 profile image
Alibongo60

Hi Marylou, I had a stroke and physically recovered, I get fed up with people telling me how well I look, as if they expected me to have grown another head, lots of luck to you and your husband, on his recovery love Alice xx

HEATH757032RM9yx profile image
HEATH757032RM9yx

YUP! Do it! And post a pic!

MaryLou13 profile image
MaryLou13 in reply toHEATH757032RM9yx

Haha brilliant! X

HEATH757032RM9yx profile image
HEATH757032RM9yx

P,S Check my profile for Ted talk "what people say when they dont know what to say"

paxo05 profile image
paxo05

Have same problem as Steve. I've also the one with the bi.

Usually first comment is " but you look normal" . I reply by saying yeah I know I thought having the third arm and second head removed would help me fit in.

Also why when I am speaking fairly normally to them do they feel the need to talk slowly and loudly back to me. I ain't that slow or deaf.

Pax

eddstjohnoneday profile image
eddstjohnoneday

listen love my sister looked after my mum and dad and it took the life out of her.and yes people saying you should or have you got that word. its your husband and that is it .people saying you or

your husband look ok ive had that said to me and yes they don't see the indoors you never stop .

the pain and it drains you of a night he gets really bad firstly your an angel looking after your husband .words and comments can destroy you but id suggest. ask the boss of the site to block people s remarks like that .

a hug of someone your 24/7 worry tired heartbroken . I no when a lot people say you look ok ed

and yes of a night when im trying to find a way to sleep in agony well I don't have many friends because I cant stand that you look ok . so just don't answer . get the person who makes remarks like that out of your life .x hope this helps and remember this website their are very sick people who will always say the right thing . you are doing a very good thing hope the best for you and your husband . ill say a prayer for you .x eddie

jacs17 profile image
jacs17

im sick of looking normal;as im not fucking normal;so normal say stop it with the pictures,as outer appearance seems decent ,i got no one to help me or family caring,They rather just get carers,an not do nothing,So im the one with the brain injury an fits,an everything else,Been in 3 years thus far solidatry,confinement,Stuck house bound in middle floor flat an picking my own self of floor after fits an falls.Oh got bracelet that's it with an alarm.An no I not even spoke about the 8 hours of assault,so don't think I ever will as I forget were im up to an go around in circles,sleep is alien to me like eating,my body is on 40+tablets so I am suppose to act normal,well I cant because im not im the person,who has the problerms;plus carer,an everything else to myself too;im shattered an Nancy you know who you are thanks hun ,gave me boost to write this,

MaryLou13 profile image
MaryLou13 in reply tojacs17

<3 thanks so much to everyone who had taken the time to reply to my post. It is good I think to have a perspective on how my husband feels inside. This brain injury thing that none of us asked for or expected unites us all in a way ...Sending out much love. Maria. X

pleyland profile image
pleyland

Your husband is very lucky to have you on his side. X

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