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My Sufferance

In 1997 I had a TBI , I was in a coma for 12 week , I have got my own flat and I am finding it difficult with day to day living , I am 37 years old now and I was 19 when I had my accident , why does the lord pick on me , but one good thing as come from it, I have gained a sense of humour, where as before I was a shy guy , I don't know what im looking for now but if someone could reply and tell me the answers

9 Replies

Skelly77 do you get any help with your day to day living? If not there may be some available for you. My daughter struggles also and lives alone but she has support agency staff going to help with things she can't do.

Only you know what you want to do with the rest of your life - but it has to be something you can achieve obviously. For a start you have gained a sense of humour which is a good basis for getting out and enjoying time with people your own age. Maybe take up a hobby?

Let us know how it goes for you.


HI Skelly. Sorry to hear you're having difficulties. Can you say which particular aspects of daily living you're struggling with ?


I am struggling with energy levels and I am always tired, I have got support but its not enough, maybe I could do with some female company, I would like to go back to how I was before my accident. I don't seem to be able cry but nobody can do it for me I have to do it myself, I just wish there was a pill I could take that would get me back to how I was before.


The thing is Skelly, it's difficult to comment on such short acquaintance but it seems a good idea to look first at your lack of energy because without energy you're a none-starter. And I can tell you if there were a magic pill........we here would be taking it !!

I do empathise because I suffer (as do many others) with low mood and lack of motivation through tiredness, but once I become involved in something purposeful or enjoyable there's no stopping me. This, of course, suggests a strong psychological element which I know I have to overcome with willpower. I do take quite a lot of medication which complicates things.

What medication, if any, are you taking at present.?

Also, can you describe your typical day ?


My husband was also very shy before his severe tbi 2 1/2 years ago. Since then his personality has changed quite a lot - and the change in his social awkwardness is one of the few positive aspects that has come out of it: you have to look for the slivers of light in there! He suffers from chronic fatigue as a result of the tbi and we are trying to manage it so that we can enjoy some of the things we did before.

I absolutely understand the wish to go back to how things used to be, we all do. The best thing that we have done is accept things but work our socks off every single day to get his health to its optimum so we can enjoy life. A positive, optimistic approach can help with your recovery; try to focus on what you can do rather than mourn the things you can't.


I currently am taking a depo injection once a month.

My typical day consists of getting up at 8am, every other day I have a bath, I sometimes go to the shops in my chair, I come back and then sometimes make my own breakfast depending on staff, sometimes I go for a rest in the afternoon depending on staff again, if I enjoy the company of staff then I will stay up, I sometimes go to my mothers, its a fair bus ride away


Do you have a driving licence and, if so, would you be able to drive in an adapted vehicle ?

Also, I'm going to message you about the depo shots.


Skelly i keep various finch'es and canary's, it's not everyone's cup of tea but it keep's me busy there's alway's something to do. It's very rewarding in the summertime when they're rearing their young, perhap's a hobby of some kind with achievement's.Wayne


Hi Skelly77, headchild is right its good you have a sense of humour. It can be lonely living alone. I only had my BI last March but have lived alone since end of last January and on bad days have felt very isolated, but as many have said to me recently on other posts - set yourself a daily task, (write it down the day or a few days before) then stick to it and yes there is a sense of achievement and self-worth when you finish that days goal.

I,ve spent modt of the last year feeling sorry for myself but the encouragement, support and love even, I,m receiving here on Headway is gaining me new friends here, because they have, and many of us still are, going through the same neural effects and emotional processes as you are now, so we understand each other, we don't criticise or judge, like its so easy for people who don;t understand brain injury to do. I,ve lost most of my more recent friends over the last few months but the new ones I'm making here though the posts, and the old ones I still have are all worth 10 of each of the ones I've lost.You will get there, no its not easy always. If we had a computer genius between us perhaps we could start a scrabble group or something like that like you can do through FACEBOOK - only an idea but as brainchild said a hobby perhaps. I used to work for a Community Centre before I retired 6 years ago and we used to have Adult Education classes there in daytime - so if there is something that would interest you and you could get to a class easily, with your sense of humour as well, it could be a good opportunity to meet new people who didn't know you before and then would take you for who you are now. Hope this helps, but do come back and let us know how you are getting on.


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