Petrified of having a smear

[Secret4706]

To start with I suffer from extreme health anxiety and bouts of depression. I don't seem to be able to think logically or realistically everything is always bad in my head.

Apologises for all the tmi included.

So I'm 33 with 3kids last smear was fine nothing abnormal all good.

About a year ago I noticed lumps around the entrance to my vagina and finally plucked up courage to see doc a few weeks ago who said it's not gw or anything sinister and everything looks normal. Apparently vaginas can change over the years and she thinks it's normal.

I've been experiencing some discharge which is always white but texture changes which I appreciate could be due to changes hormonal through the month. Sometimes it's clear and stretchy others it's creamy. I feel as though I smell a bit fishy sometimes but I use femfresh wash to scrub myself as I feel paranoid.

Received smear reminder letter next week and have reluctantly booked this in altho its not for a month due to backlogs.

Woke up this morning and have found blood in my discharge. Not loads but my HA makes me overthink. Imagine the type of brown discharge you might have the day after your period. I have regular periods last one ended last Monday.

Now petrified to have a smear after the bloody discharge thinking I have cervical cancer. Scared I have hpv. Could I have hpv? How would I know? Have i given this to my bf? Could it have been here all my life? Googling answers are so conflicting

Struggling to cope with my own thoughts

[Perido]

Clear and stretchy discharge usually occurs mid cycle and correlates with ovulation. Discharge does vary throuhout the cycle and it's a question of being familiar with what is normal for you. I thinking slight fishiness may be normal as well but strong fishiness may be due to a vaginal imbalance often referred to as a vaginosis. Vaginosis may be exacerbated by over washing - I would suggest not using femfresh to scrub yourself as it could make things worse. Washing too much or using products can upset the pH balance and natural microbial flora of the vagina - gentle washing even with just plain water and maybe a skin friendly non-perfumed product is best.

In terms of your health anxiety about your recent bloody discharge - any abnormal bleeding is a reason for a GP appointment and maybe a referral to a gynaecologist. There are a number of reasons for abnormal bleeding and although it's a possibility it's unlikely to be cancer.

The thought of HPV causes anxiety for a lot of women but if you do have it really is better to know than not know - 80% of women will get infected with HPV at some point in their lives though most will clear it naturally. If you are HPV positive you will be offered close monitoring (a much better service than before routine HPV testing) and this means you will get treatment (if required) well before any abnormal cells have a chance to develop into cervical cancer. I strongly suggest not googling about this - it will scare, confuse and mislead.

When I turned 50y I developed a fear about smear tests and elected to stop going for them. It is the regret of my life as I ended up with a stage 2 cervical cancer age 60y. With hindsight I massively overthought the smear test when really it would have been so easy to pick up the phone and make the appointment. After what I've been through with cervical cancer treatment I've asked myself many times why for the sake of a 5 minute test didn't I just get on with it and get it over with. Well done you for making your smear appointment especially as you are feeling so concerned - I really mean it when I say that is an achievement.

You have asked a string of questions - try and take things a step at a time and try not to jump to conclusions - I really do understand what health anxiety is about as I've been there myself - I've now learnt to deal with that anxiety by getting busy with something to take my mind off things - a bit of cleaning or weeding often works for me.

All the best

x

[Secret4706 in reply to Perido]

Thank you so much for taking the time to reply to me.

My ha is absolutely through the roof. I had doc app about 3 weeks ago she performed internal exam and said my cervix looks fine but obv I need the smear for tests as it's due soon anyway.

I am just petrified that I have hpv and my partner will think I have been unfaithful. I have a shit addiction to using Dr Google that I can't stop. Currently off work due to anxiety and spend my days online reading and reading.

Sorry to hear what you have been through I hope you are okay.

Thanks again x

[Perido in reply to Secret4706]

I can recommend the following link to Jo's Cervical Cancer Trust website for information about HPV: jostrust.org.uk/information...

Jo's Trust has a great helpline if you wish to talk through your anxieties about HPV. The Eve Appeal also have a great helpline as well - it's just that I'm more familiar with Jo's and Jo's specialises in cervical screening/abnormalities/cancer and HPV.

Also may I suggest taking a moment to look in a mirror - smile (big smile) and say 'well done lady/girl/you for booking your smear test'.

And please, pretty please, take a break from the googling - maybe take a short walk, even if it's just for 5 minutes now and then

I'm as OK as I can be thankyou - but might well have been a lot better if I'd done a smear test rather than let my negative thoughts overwhelm me.

Take care

x

[Secret4706 in reply to Perido]

Have been on the links before I still can't stop worrying. All in my head due to anxiety. I am a complete and utter wreck atm can't eat or sleep. Even after I have googled I can still remember what I have read. But really Thanks for the message x

[Pinkfloyd2020]

Please don't panic be strong as a partner of someone who was in very similar position to you the anxiety it's just as huge for us, take control of the situation never let others tell you what to do, make lists of questions on paper get answers from the professionals, this site will support you 100% and trust me you are the driver of this condition not the passenger I wish you well.

[Secret4706 in reply to Pinkfloyd2020]

Thank you for your kind reply it means alot

[AskEveTeam]

Hi there,

Thank you for your message. We're really sorry to hear that you're struggling at the moment and feeling so worried.

It's normal for vaginal discharge to change throughout your menstrual cycle, and to feel creamier/have a bit of a stronger smell at times. A fishy smell however could indicate BV (bacterial vaginosis) which can be easily treated with antibiotics prescribed by your doctor.

We would echo what has been said in a previous reply - please try and avoid scrubbing/over washing the vagina as this can affect the vagina's pH balance and lead to infection/irritation.

Your last smear being normal/clear is really reassuring. Cervical cancer typically takes a long time to develop from HPV, into abnormal cells, and into a cancer, (although most cases of HPV don't develop into abnormal cells and are cleared by our immune systems), so the chances of this bloody discharge being a cervical cancer are very low.

Yes, you could have HPV - it is very common and most people who have had any type of sexual contact will have HPV at some point in their lives. In terms of passing it to a partner, it is very hard to be able to tell which person 'gave' it to the other in a relationship, as it's so common and so easily passed on through sexual contact, so we can't really 'trace' it if that makes sense. If your smear test next month shows that you do have HPV, you will be monitored more regularly and checked to see if the HPV has cleared - this close monitoring means that if the HPV does develop into abnormal cells they can be picked up very early.

It's great that you have your screening appointment booked, but always worth reporting this new bit of bleeding/bloody discharge to your GP, as a smear test is a screening test rather than a diagnostic test, so if someone needed their abnormal bleeding investigated for example, they wouldn't be given a smear test, they would be given an examination and/or gynae referral if necessary.

If you have any other questions after your appointments, please do get in touch on [e-mail]

Best Wishes,

The Ask Eve Team

[Secret4706]

Thank you for your reply x