Baby shower

[MariannaB]

Sister of my bf added me on a group chat inviting on baby shower, how can I say in a nice way without saying my infertility issues, mental health to all the group that I can not go to a baby shower because will shake my brain and o will get depression? I am happy for my bf that will have a baby and I wish her all the best but I literally struggling to go on . Please any of advice on how to express myself that I am not going but not to say about my issues?

[FrancyItaly]

You can just make an excuse at the last minute and don’t go, you don’t need to explain yourself to everyone. Don’t worry too much about it, if you feel like it you can just tell your bf that you are finding gatherings very hard. If she is your bf she will understand. Infertility is hard under many aspects, no need to stress yourself even more. Hoping you will have your happy news very soon xxx

[yellow987]

Hi Marianna. That is literally my worst nightmare so I completely understand how you are feeling. 😭 If it was me I would mute the notifications until the date has been announced. Then at that point explain you have a clash so can’t make it. Say you hope they have a lovely time, wish them all the best then exit the group promptly. Sending you virtual hugs … infertility is so painful and sometimes being in those environments is just torture. Protect yourself 💕

[MariannaB in reply to yellow987]

Thank you so much for you advise. O feel bad for not going but in the same time I really need to stay away from because I already know that I will feel so uncomfortable and I will struggle so much during the baby shower to look happy and will end up in a depression that remind me how useless I am , how I failed so many times

[yellow987 in reply to MariannaB]

No problem! She is your best friend but sounds like she will have a lot of other support there including her sister. Please don’t feel useless. I have had 3 unsuccessful rounds of IVF so I understand that feeling that you have failed … but you haven’t. All of this is outside of your control and you are doing the very best you can in horrible circumstances 💕

[Ranchu90]

Tell her that you developed Covid symptoms overnight so you have to wait for PCR results to come back and for everyone's safety you will not come 😁 I am sure she will be happy for you to not attend. I am really sorry that you have to go through this difficult time, I understand you perfectly. I also been on our friend birthday and we were 5 couples all together and only me and my husband were "empty handed", all the other couples had not 1 child but 2 😵🤦 I never felt so rubbish in my entire life!

Take care of yourself and stay strong!! ♥️🥰

[HaveFaith1]

Oh Marianna, I feel your pain and fear of the baby shower situation. My best friend revealed she's three months pregnant just before my second round of IVF failed. I put on a happy face but inside I felt so unbelievably jealous and alone. The truth is, she probably feels awkward about it because she knows what I'm going through. So I think the advice is good: don't go if you can't take the emotional pain at the moment, and speak to your best friend privately to explain so that she understands why. It's no-one else's business. Now let's see if I can take my own medicine when the time comes for my bf's baby shower 😬 I hope you have success soon ❤️