4 yr old weeing regularly at school and now pooing.

[Qaws]

Need help with our 4 yr old boy. Who started school this September (28th),

History (I talk in terms as I work in a school)

Out of nappies summer hols 2019 just after turning 3.

Initially lots of accidents at nursery but settled by Oct half term, then there was a pattern of a few weeks dry then a few days of accidents. Mainly wees sometimes poos. Nursery said in their experience nothing to worry about, he wasn't the only one.

Easter my hours reduced due to Covid so less time in nursery so only a few accidents. When my hrs increased end June, accidents at nursery returned so sought HV advice. After lengthy discussion they didn't think it was a problem but told me to monitor but if over 4 week period with regular reminders to go to the toilet only a few accidents then not an issue. This coincided with end of school summer term and school hols. He had no accidents NB he rarely has accidents at home, I sit him on the toilet every couple of hours.

Roll on Sept before starting school was looked after by family member due to Covid had little contact with in recent times (NB we have 2 household members with underlying health conditions) - and started to refuse to use the toilet with them. Only 2 accidents over 4 week period. Started school 28th September and on average has had 3 wee accidents a week in his pants, school tells me he uses the toilet, my son says he doesn't. They have been supportive until it came to a head this week with him doing 2 small poos on Monday (he held on, so little bits), dry Tuesday, 3 wees on Wednesday, dry Thursday and again 2 small poos today. The Head has been involved and they pull my son to one side and he denies doing wees or poos, the Head spoke to me on Wednesday and says it's not normal for my son to have this many accidents and they are struggling to manage in school due to Covid measures. It doesn't help that my son doesn't ask to go to the toilet and won't tell an adult when he goes.

I was asked to speak to our gp on Weds and I had a telephone consultation yesterday, the gp was really dismissive of the situation and the school (it's only October) saying they are pushing for a medical reason when there isn't, they says it doesn't warrant an appointment or investigation - as only happening at school.

What can I do to help our son? We ask him every day to use the toilet regularly at school, to tell teachers if he has an accident etc. He can't use our toilet independently, even with a stool he struggles to hop on, so I can't leave him to manage on his own at home which I know would then help in school.

I should add generally he poos every 2 ( or 3) days, he doesn't like pooing in the toilet so generally goes in the potty. He's always been dry at night. My youngest daughter now 12 had chronic constipation which she struggled with for years so my little boy has always had prunes daily.

Would be so grateful for any advice/insight into why this is happening. He has told my oldest daughter that one of the boys in his class is mean to him when he gets himself dressed after having an accident and I'm heart broken for him.

Sorry for the essay.