Effects emotionally : Hi guys , my little boy nearly... - ERIC

ERIC

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Effects emotionally

Booloo profile image
6 Replies

Hi guys , my little boy nearly 5 suffers from chronic constipation , wets daily due to stretched rectum. We are getting good medical support and his laxatives are altered regularly .... my question is about behavior . As if life isn’t tough enough , his little bowel consumes our life at the mo , but he is getting in trouble in playschool. The teacher says he is not at all looking for trouble but if another child messes his work or doesn’t share he lashes out and has bit a particular child twice. He has no patients at all and is so sorry when it happens. He spends his day with me he is gentle and loving. He get blocked up every few days and is pale and bloated. The constipation is causing so much pain on everyone . He has good days too but each week we defo have one bad day. Anyone else experience this .... teacher knows about his medical history and is understanding but I’m standing there each day praying he has had a good day

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Booloo profile image
Booloo
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EHM39 profile image
EHM39

Sorry to hear how all this is affecting your little boy emotionally. I too have a nearly 5 yr old boy. He is in full time school and has daytime wetting problems. Again, we are doing everything we can medically but I definitely worry about his mental and emotional state. Luckily we have had no trouble at school yet (apart from some defiance when being asked to go to the toilet) but at home it is sometimes a different story. As with your little boy mine is loving, affectionate, bright and in essence a “good boy”. But only last night it was like he had finally had enough of dealing with this all-consuming problem and a button had been pressed. He was in the middle of a story with his Daddy and it was clear he was wet and also soiled. We addressed this calmly and kindly, but this was one time too many that something he was enjoying doing had been cruelly interrupted by his problem. He totally let rip with what can only be described as rage. Literally growling and shrieking and throwing things and crying and rejecting any help or efforts from us to calm him down. A very sad and distressing sight for all of us. I felt so sorry for him and understood where all of this was coming from completely. It is an exhausting and constant disruption to daily life - and on the whole he sucks it up pretty well. But we all have our limits. I did later say to my husband I fear for the future years at school if a kid is cruel and our son has reached his limit. The only advice I can offer is to reiterate to your son regularly how none of this is his fault. (It is his naughty bowel/bladder). Address his emotions; tell him you understand it makes him angry, upset, frustrated and sad. Stay positive and patient and calm with him (hard I know!) and try not to get upset or make an issue of the problem. Obviously biting etc cannot go ignored but this surely comes from deep down feelings about his wetting - which hopefully over time he can be reassured about. Sorry I have no magic answer. I understand your concerns and feel for you! Keep going! X

Robinia profile image
Robinia

I have referred us into school nursing and have a lovely understanding school nurse who is going into school to support him with his anger as it’s related to his physical health, he’s 9 but his little sister is 5 and she said they could even support her if necessary as it’s had such an impact at home too. One session with the school nurse and we already seen a difference at home xx

CN4321 profile image
CN4321

My son is a little older (just turned 7) but I have found recently he has reacted quite well to me talking about the fact that other children have this same problem as well. I have told him I joined this group which is why I sometimes have different suggestions for things that helped, and make a point that just because his friends don’t have these problems I know lots of people online whose children struggle to make him feel less alone with his problem. I also pointed out how many children are in the waiting room of the hospital (he doesn’t know they don’t have exactly the same problems as him).

Finally I do meditation with him every night, it sounds a bit hippyish but I find it really helps with my mental health and my app has a kids section on it so I thought it would be worth trying as he gets quite anxious and embarrassed about the whole thing.

Booloo profile image
Booloo in reply to CN4321

What app is that please and thank you for your advice

CN4321 profile image
CN4321 in reply to Booloo

It’s called headspace - you can get a free trial i think but I then paid for the year as I felt it was worth it

Upthatcreek profile image
Upthatcreek

My 6 year old boy gets 1:1 art therapy in school to help him with his anger. The school SENCO suggested it after I explained his emotions and they saw a few outbursts in school. His anger is definitely worse when he’s blocked up.

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