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Pee and poo accidents

My little man 4y 8 months has rarely had a dry day in his life. He withholds day in and out but will hide in a spot and move his bowels in his pants. He also has regular urine accidents. We have had him checked and constipation was diagnosed ( mostly because of withholding) . He runs for a pee in the toilet multiple times a day but if he is busy he will wet . The wet pants doesn’t bother him and he denies ( even though we can see the wet patch) . He is adorable and very affectionate and his whole little life revolves around toilet talk. I’ve tried EVERYTHING. I remember as a child I wet and getting in trouble when I didn’t mean to do it.

I am a worried mother who wants so so desperately to help her child. I’m tormented to put it mildly.

We gave him senna and movical which worked a treat and I started reducing until everything fell apart again , how trying to get back to where we were ... but he still wet when we were on track ( only once a day ) that was the best we ever got.

Looking for advise or has anyone out there gone through this and survived ... I need to know we will get by all of this ...

4 Replies

I’m afraid I’m no use at all with the medical side as I’ve no experience but I have definitely had experience of being at my wits end and wondering where on earth we’ll end up. Reading your post took me right back so I wanted to say that you will get by all of this. My son is 8 and has always had problems with soiling but with age and experience (his and mine) it has got better and we’re both a lot more positive now.

This forum is great for support and practical advice. One thing that really helped me was the suggestion of concentrating on praising all the little things they do that have nothing to do with the toilet so they don’t feel like that is all there is to them. I noticed a real change in my boy and focusing on his achievements cheered me up too!

I really hope you turn a corner soon, hang in there xxx

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Hi. I really feel for you and wish I could make things better. We have v similar issues and my son is 4yrs 6mths and also completely lovely and a gorgeous boy - but this problem seems to be taking over. You end up feeling like it is all about the toilet and you can no longer get past this to reach the son you know and love. I have no magic answer and we aren’t out the other side yet - but I can tell you that my torment has got much better in recent months (even though the accidents haven’t improved) purely by trying to take action (GP, hospital referrals, health visitor etc) which makes you feel like progress is happening. I have also made peace a little with the whole situation by accepting that my son can most likely not help it, that getting cross helps no one and by dealing with accidents and wet clothes matter-of-factly and moving on. Sometimes easier said than done but soooooo much better for my sanity and the family unit as a whole than getting stressed. Until we know exactly what we are dealing with this is all I can do right now. Accepting this is part of life for the moment has made it easier to move forward. Also - you are doing the right thing being a part of this forum. So great to read that you are not alone. Hang on in there. We can do it! 😀

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We had our appointment with an X-ray and guess what , his large intestine is stuffed with poo. So stuffed the surgical doctor thinks it’s lost sensation and that explaines all the wee and poo accidents. He is to have 2 movical daily and 5mls of senna for three months ... and back to clinic then. I have a nurse who will ring me weekly to see how he is and support us throug it. I cried in the hospital because we got help and I trusted my instinct and kept looking for help . I hugged my little man so tight and I feel so happy ... I hope this helps you. Please see can you get an X-ray for your little one and look for the help that you both deserve x


I wanted to write to say it can get better. I can’t relate so much to wetting but can to the poo withholding and soiled pants, pooing in pants in corners etc.

Please have a look through at the reply’s I’ve given on here detailing my experience with my daughter. She was at her worst in terms of accidents at 3/4 and I thought it would never end. Felt completely exasperated by it all. She is now 7 and is so much better, not 100% but about 85%...

Hope that gives you hope

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