Heya there everyone!
Im a newbie on this forum, and thought I'd just share my current predicaments knowing there's probably a whole host of you that have experienced similar things, it'll make me feel a bit less odd!
Last April I was on my placements in hospital, completing two surgical rotations. I had had issues with UV lights and was always on the photophobic side, as it seemed to worsen my lupus and APS as well as my migraines.
Never did I imagine though, that one day on the way to work, I'd blackout at the wheel, and had no memory of what happened, ending up a mile or so away from what I last remember. I, nor anyone else was injured thankfully.
The day after I was operating on a small bowel obstruction, feeling an acute sense of joy, then my heartbeat seemed to speed up and jump from my chest. I felt like my stomach was on a rollercoaster and could hear a song on the radio, and smell manure, rather than the usual smell of antiseptic in theatre. I couldn't focus and my vision was like in high contrast, my right side slightly shaking and felt weak and almost separate to me. Again I blacked out and came to, this time tired and extremely anxious, with a sharp headache lingering on my left side.
These typical events lasted only a minute or two, but left me drained and anxious after. And often, I wouldn't blackout but would have the sensory disturbances and intense joy before and intense anxiety after. It was like a flick of a switch.
I went to my GP who said I was probably just anxious and exaggerating. They told me to carry on as usual and still drive.
After not having an episode for a week or two I drove, and again, I blacked out, and couldn't remember anything that happened, half a mile away from what I last remember and this time into a lamppost, having my car totalled, but still unscathed physically.
I went back to my GP who referred (to keep me quiet) to a neurologist. And four months later I saw a neurologist. She believed they could be complex partial seizures, but didn't think there was a likely cause but sent for an MRI head scan.
The MRI scan, came and went, and I got no results for seven months so decided that there was no notable cause for these new issues. However I felt like my memory was worsening, I wasn't great with right and left, simple calculation, and couldn't understand people talking toe in my right ear. Weird I know.
Then a couple of weeks back I got an urgent referral for MRI head scans of various types and areas. But still no word from my neurologist as to why. My rheumatologist though, rang me up, after reading the old MRI scan results. A large lesion on the left parietal temporal areas which had haemorrhaged.
Alot to take in, but it validated that my funny turns as I called them were seizures, and that I hadn't gone mental or unhinged. The joy and intense fear and anxiety of these episodes made feel bipolar at times!
It's always hard to have neurological symptoms because they can be so many things and be due to all sorts of things. But lucky for me I am slowly getting answers. I do find it hard though with work, to cope when these episodes seem to come in clusters. It always feels like I'm just not that brainy or competent anymore, and a rubbish excuse for time off .
But we persevere, and many have it worse than I. I'm glad there are communities like this one, helping to share experiences with one another and make us feel less alone.