Hello folks, it's been a while since I posted, or had anything to post about. I have to retire to my bed or any horizontal surface these days as my fractured vertebrae are soon put to the test and become uncomfortable if I'm sitting or standing for a while. Speed bumps are a menace and I always have to take a few doses of pain relief to get across town to an appointment. I've managed to wean myself off morphine as a pain reliever and so rely on Ibuprofen and Paracetamol. A hot bath helps too, but as you all will know living under the dark cloud of Enc. is not a thrill.
It's sunny again here in Leeds UK and looking out of my window I can see gardens, trees and a distant airport. Now and again a plane will depart or arrive and I am grateful that I'm not in a baggage queue or in an aircraft breathing in all the germs. With an immune deficiency I have to be careful in busy places and wearing a mask gets some unexpected responses - the worst being laughter or nasty looks and glares.
I wear dark glases with flip up extra shades so I can avoid gazes and strong light. Using a walking stick and carrying a Hidden Disability lanyard helps but I still have to make way for others and avoid tripping or falling at the same time. I'm happiest out in the wilds but carrying a rucksac of essentials for several miles and climbing about is pretty draining and I have to lie flat again for a few days to recover. A couple of doses of pain relief help to give me a break.
I've been recovering from a UTI and am gradually getting back up to steam. I can fill refuse bins and do little odd jobs but am easily tired and have to rest again. I filled a bird feeder and the birds were soon in attendance, taking in turns to take some food. Replacing the water in the bird bath gives them a chance to have a dip or a drink. They are great to watch and very cute - it's interesting how cute most creatures are - even the lowly slug.
A couple we know came to tea/dinner and were impressed both with my progress and my wife's culinary skills. Duncan was amazed at my recovery, saying that it was like night and day. It was difficult putting a sentence together in the past and I had trouble recognising letters and words. Now I am able to talk and listen, make jokes and do quite well at Scrabble, patience and dominoes. My short term memory is still pretty poor and organising things like tidying away or packing a bag can be very upsetting. The end of my tether is quite easily reached. Oh well .....
At least I'm retired and have a liveable pension coming in. Coping on disability benefits alone must be a nightmare, paying bills and Council Tax takes a big chunk. I can save a little - being partially inactive helps to save money. Gone are the days of boozy nights out and a couple of cigarettes but also gone is the commute to work in a pretty stressful teaching job. PTSD, anxiety and panic attacks are some of my souvenirs but usually the kids and lessons were great. Mentioning it is a bit of a trigger for flashbacks and bad memories, it's slightly like being a war veteran.
Getting anything done is a struggle, planning and executing some simple task can be daunting and usually result in me backing off and resting for a while. I tried watching TV and it was very scary. All the ads are full on and grab at your attention. No, I don't want a new Datsun, a cruise or a burger, so don't keep throwing them at me. Watching the Godfather film was a test and I realised fairly quickly that I couldn't follow the plot, that the actors all looked the same and that a career in the Mafia was not for me. If the TV breaks I won't be replacing it, my wife likes to watch old films so maybe it will be up to her.
I do like YouTube, I can follow music from the 60s and 20 minute UK wrestling bouts from the 70s plus I do a fair bit of reading and research on the Internet. History is a pretty daunting topic and the battles, massacres, atrocities and genocides keep cropping up. All meant to grab your attention I suppose and keep you clicking. There is usually some new research on neurological topics, Enc is pretty rare and diagnosis and treatment in time is lucky. There are many common effects of brain damage and one hopes that the remaining parts of the brain can step up to the task of standing in for the broken bits.
Right, I'm going to get dressed and check that the birds have plenty of food and drink, I'd best take some pain relief.- best wishes to one and all. G2
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Gandalf2
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Always great to hear from you Gandalf2 and the comeback continues! I’m not a great plot follower of films at the best of times and like to mute the ads whenever possible.
Keep on going and reflecting on your great progress – I bet you’re a tasty Scabble player!
It's been a while since we've swapped messages and I wondered how you were doing.
Sorry to hear of all of the difficulties, especially with the fractures. That must be very painful to deal with, but it sounds like you are moving forward, as you always seem to do!
Sometimes there are setbacks, but we e-peeps must be some of the toughest people on the earth to be able to keep fighting forward! I am learning to appreciate even the most mundane/simple things, as well. When I accomplish even the simplest task I have written on my dry-erase board, it is a victory for me.
Tonight I have defrosted and cleaned/disinfected the freezer portion of my fridge here. Some months ago, we lost power for the better of 3 days and some frozen chicken began to thaw out, leaving a horrible mess of the chicken juices sitting on the bottom. When the power came back on, the juice re-froze, but I knew it was there. I had forgotten all about it, until I wrote it on my dry-erase board. And just tonight, I had enough energy to take care of the whole thing. It is sparkly clean now and although this is a simple task, for me it was a great victory!
This year has had its disappointments, though. I was not able to plant a garden, since my focus was shifted to keeping regular awake/asleep times. This makes my efforts at the job a LOT easier. I am far more effective when I have had a sufficient amount of sleep and now I am actually able to sleep for as little as 7 hours, and wake up on time and report to work. I only do this twice per week and only work for 4 hours, but at least this is becoming less and less difficult as time goes by. It still takes me about 2 hours to actually "wake up" though, after getting out of bed. And I still need to spend time on the recliner after being awake for about 6 hours.
Oh well, we do what we can! Hopefully you can use the Scrabble board to place FROZE in the topleft location on the board. You get double letter for the Z, and triple word score for the word!! Next play, make a word starting with the letter N. Place the word, going down, to make frozeN, and scoop up some more points with that valuable Z!
Sorry if this note is too long; when I get yakking I really yak!! 😆
Hoping you are feeling better and continue to enjoy the great summer weather!
Thank you OG, we seem to be on similar paths. Rationing my energies more carefully and avoiding burnout. Old age is part of it I guess, at least on my part. Well done with the freezer, I find organising and carrying out even simple tasks confusing. The confusion and difficulty in decision making are hard to get through and then there is the problem or organising the moves to create a successful outcome.
I replenished the bird feeder at the back of the house, emptying the old seeds on the stone flags. Before I knew it a grey squirrel arrived and started helping itself. I stood still and watched and eventually sat down on a nearby chair. The squirrel kept an eye on me but didn't pause in its gathering and eating of the seeds.
Later in the day I was releasing a wasp that had strayed into the bathroom. It's great to see one fly off into the sky when it could have exhausted itself and died in the bath. I hope I'm getting more used to the pace of things with Enc. etc. and not overdoing things. Yep, allowing recovery time is perhaps more important than the task itself.
I love your bird bath picture. Are they both blue tits? They look like they’re have a right old chin wag! I love the fact too that even with all the challenges you have you can get out on the fells and feel that freedom walking gives. I used to think the crash wasn’t worth the day out, or the walk or whatever it was. Now like you (mostly) I accept it’s a day mostly sitting with a foggy brain afterwards. Must admit I always hope it won’t happen and after 5 years it’s so so so much less.
Because it is exactly 5 years, my husband and I have been reminiscing in a positive way about how far I’ve come. (Like doing everything with my left hand because I didn’t realise I’m right handed. Not being able to hold a pen. And when I could not remembering how to write. Etc etc ). It helps seeing how far I’ve come.
I think you’re amazing to be so funny and encouraging and helping us all when you have your own challenges. Thank you.
Gandalf , can I just say as an ex-English teacher that I love your way with words. We are all definitely ‘war veterans’. Thanks for making me smile this morning. You’re a great writer , and you capture the E recovery journey perfectly .
Hello HSE Survivor, thank you for your post. I like writing and find the more I write the easier it becomes. Reading helps too by getting my thoughts and imagination crystalised into words.
I used to edit a small cycling magazine for a small local group and discovered that you can't please everyone. I also have a knack for writing poetry in a comedy form. I did performances too but kept up with my job as a Technology teacher so I could benefit from retirement. You will know what teaching is like.
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