Friday Night !

[Wish3]

I have not drunk all week which I am proud of ! After a long week I did not reach for wine I was craving but had a weak G & T followed by 2 strong ones !🤦‍♀️ I’m trying not to feel too guilty about it as I didn’t revert to two bottles of wine as usual !

[SoberDrunk1]

This is what the book Alcoholics Anonymous calls it as a peculiar mental twist. This innocuous thought, I will just have a light one and we act on it. Then the craving kicks in. We drink more. Remember we drink because of the effect produced by alcohol.

[Wish3 in reply to SoberDrunk1]

yes that’s true ! I don’t seem to be able to just have one !🤦‍♀️

[Hidden in reply to Wish3]

hi, do you tend to drink all week or just at weekends…I am/was a daily/every other day drinker… I find it frustrating that I can have only 2 drinks if it’s cans but can’t if it’s spirits …it’s 3 if it’s wine but end up drinking the last glass once bottle is opened to not leave 1 drink sitting to be wasted.

I’m frustrated at myself because I drink because it’s there with sprits or wine. But if I only had 2 glasses in, 1 wouldn’t go shop to get more. It’s only down road!

[SoberDrunk1 in reply to Wish3]

Losing control after the first drink is something we can all see clearly but what is subtle is that we start drinking after a gap of dry time. Like in your case after a week, there was something that went through your mind and you took the G&T. Probably it said, I will have a lite G&T just that. In the book Alcoholics Anonymous it talks about how we problem drinkers switch from one brand to another:

Here are some of the methods we have tried: Drinking beer only, limiting the number of drinks, never drinking alone, never drinking in the morning, drinking only at home, never having it in the house, never drinking during business hours, drinking only at parties, switching from scotch to brandy, drinking only natural wines, agreeing to resign if ever drunk on the job, taking a trip, not taking a trip, swearing off forever (with and without a solemn oath), taking more physical exercise, reading inspirational books, going to health farms and sanitariums, accepting voluntary commitment to asylums—we could increase the list ad infinitum.

[Isinatra in reply to SoberDrunk1]

You’re so right SD. The list is endless. I tried them all and invented a few and it didn’t keep me sober until I joined AA. They have a “list” that works as you so well know.

[Hidden in reply to SoberDrunk1]

I understand this. However, I can’t imagine that making such lists do nothing to help people. I get that if that craving is there…if the addiction is that far …people will always find a way. That’s why even mouthwash ect is taken away from homes but not everyone is too that point ! 😊

[SoberDrunk1 in reply to Hidden]

The list that is provided is just to show whow the alcoholics mind operate. They go from one form to other deluding themselves that this time this is how they are going to manage/control the drinking. You are right, once the obsession hits us, there is no telling. I have heard people rub hand sanitizer and sniff the oder and get high. The first step in recovery is to realize to the inner most self that we have a problem and then take action so we dont get into that space where we allow the mind to come up with these insane ideas. The mini stories in the chapter More About Alcoholism is to illustrate how the alcoholics operate just prior to a relapse. The man of 30 after being sober for 25 years, succumbs to the idea that he may drink safely after a period of abstinance. The car salesman thinks he can mix whiksy with milk and drink on a full stomach. And the Fred the account takes just a couple of drinks. They say the experiment went so well that they all end up back in a hospital.

[Wish3]

probably another couple of gins if I’m honest xx 😘 🙏❤️

[Rosepetal60 in reply to Wish3]

Have you tried the zero alcohol Gin ones with the right tonic such as the fever T Mediterranean one makes it feasible. I’m not really a gin person but have heard from a friend this is a good alternative.

[Wish3]

early night & tomorrow new day 🙏💪❤️

[Hidden]

Hey. It’s annoying. But if theres a full bottle of 70cl I won’t drink more than Half…I’m hoping that now the birthday is out the way…can not be tempted to buy sprits in the house again

[Hidden]

I haven’t drunk either. Not even the alco frees tonight.

Well done goodnight! X

[Treesong2023]

Mindset, it's all mindset.. It's really good that you can hold out and not give in to the drink for 5 days. Well done you. This shows you have the ability / chance to get your life back, and stop things getting worse. But let's look at what happened after this as the cycle you now need to defeat.

If you do want to change your mindset, then imho I think you now need to get to the honesty point. As those who have gone before is will say, stopping is ...stopping.

And having a 5 day break... is just a 5 day break if you get back on the booze train. The same bad-for-you habits are winning out..it's a cycle you need to recognise as ...not winning.

If you think you have "been good" and deserve a celebration, or think it won't hurt to just have a single G&T? ... That has to be the wrong mindset, it's your subconscious mind games, your drinking self working against you, and getting control over you.

You saw what happens next,...those good old, short term feelings you rely on from the alcohol are set free, and the drinking pattern is in charge, and off you go on to bigger drinking things.

I look at my own efforts to stop drinking as a battle of wills. As me getting a new mindset,just like you said earlier. In my case, Party time, get numb and happy me, is fighting against the me that wants to live my life properly, look after my kids, and not injure my health, ...and I know that that means not getting i through my life half or fully drunk at the weekends when I think I...deserve ...a drink...or two...three...

Instead of feeling guilty Moonpig, recognise your success, can do it, you can win out... But do it for longer...and be ready for your "drinking self" to come up with good reasons for giving into her. You have seen you can do it, if you keep the right mindset. Let that mindset win for you.

And...I suggest you don't buy any alcohol, as that's just getting ready to fail.

Good luck in fighting your Good Fight! 🌻

[Hidden in reply to Treesong2023]

Thanks 😊

[HeavyFoot]

Respondents here have described perfectly how another “you” takes over after just one drink. “One’s too many and three’s not enough” goes the expression.

Don’t feel remorseful, don’t feel guilty, don’t feel sly, don’t rationalise “it’s less than usual”. Act.

[Isinatra in reply to HeavyFoot]

For me, one was too many and a hundred wasn’t enough.

[HeavyFoot in reply to Isinatra]

Good to hear from you again, Isinatra. A lot of brave people have joined the forum recently.

[Isinatra in reply to HeavyFoot]

Very brave, HeavyFoot. 😉

[Isinatra]

Your mom is wiser than you think she is. 🤗

[Isinatra]

If willpower alone worked, none of us would drink.

[Wish3]

yes all good advice ! I’m not even going to have one today ! Happy Sunday ! It’s just habit to cook dinner whilst drinking then open more bottles during lunch & after ! 🤦‍♀️💪

[Hidden]

sound like a great a day. I have also been put with kids on bike and scooters in the sunshine. Feeling more productive. Have a friend round later. No alcohol today for me. Happy (not hungover) Sunday 😊👌

[Wish3]

yes I know ! Serious repercussions! However if honest I’ve had wine today ! Didn’t want to which sounds so weak ! Went to friends & offered one didn’t say no & had 4 glasses now home ! 🤦‍♀️