Who do you talk to when you feel very down?

[lizzy50]

I feel like I haven't been allowed to be honest to anyone about how very down I feel. Being ambivolent about accepting renal replacement therapy has led to wild accusations from doctors - that I am begging for money, manipulative. They don't seem to get it - some of us have been so bullied by bad partners and lousy jobs and isolation growing up as a renal patient, and even bad memories of being strapped down and catheterised as a child, that I frequently feel I don't want to go on living. This doesn't make me a beggar or a criminal does it?

[Quintillius]

Hello There. It is quite normal to feel down and depressed about having Renal Replacement Therapy. Its not normal to live a life on dialysis and I know I have and have a really bad time accepting the limitations that this life imposes on us. I found support with several avenues which I hope will be of some help to you too. The first was my consultant, the nurses in the unit, my GP, my family and friends and the unit social worker. It is well worth spending time explaining to those around you how you feel about the situation. I became very depressed and low and have ended up on antidepressant treatment for the long term. It may also be worth talking to your local Kidney Patient Association group leader. They will be able to get you to kix with other patients all with similar backgrounds and allow you to share your thoughts and feelings. My key advice is to not keep it to yourself but to tell everyone you know how you are feeling. Especially your GP who may wish to put you on some antidepressant medication. My advice is to take all the help you can get. Accepting Kidney dialysis does not mean a restricted life. I wish you the very best of luck in your search for some happiness. I am still looking and after six months am still finding it hard to accept life as it is. Best wishes. Quintillius.

[lizzy50 in reply to Quintillius]

The 2 problems with Bristol Renal unit is that they do stereotype you and think.they know you when you've been a patient for years. So I found that they were very unwilling to refer to anyone I cldvtslk to..ie they ration access to.the renal unit psychologist.

Secondly when I eventually got help I found it was far from patient centred and in fact my consultant made me feel guilty talking to her

.'its not standard service offered you.know.. You are time consuming.. What do you want, do you want money?' She shouted at me but had no idea what I'd gone through. She seemed to think.I wasn't genuinely ambivalent and I kept getting offers of more education on dialysis, upsetting me more and more. I made a complaint and they reinforced the notion that I was time consuming.