Abuse surviver.. But am I really done? Or am I still being mistreated by my significant other??

[peyton_o]

Hi I'm Payton and was abused horrifically my whole childhood. From my abusive mother I've inherited her suicidal depression. Also because of how I was raised (abused) I really can't differentiate emotional abuse and normal fights in my relationship. Because of the abuse and my mental illness I really don't know how others should treat me and if I diserve better.

I've been with my boyfriend for a pretty long time and I really don't know whether or not he is slightly emotionally abusive, or if I'm just crazy because of my own mental problems. I feel lost and alone

[Ronkoz]

I have the same dilemma too by the way where should I stand up for myself compared to where overreacting with significant other. Kind of the feeling he only want me when I'm not there type of thing. But the first priority has to be you and your health now so keep yourself in mind. Maybe let some of this dilemma go as you focus on your improvement

[peyton_o in reply to Ronkoz]

How did you get through that dilemma like what did you do

[Ronkoz in reply to peyton_o]

I had to step back and focus on me because it became too distracting. We live together but I noticeably am trying and doing new things even if it is for five minutes and I leave. But regardless I get more a feeling of balance in my life and then I can start being more confident in the relationship and judge things more accurately. I also listen to Beyoncé lemonade when needed 😉

[Ronkoz]

But I would personally never be ok if someone called me trash - how does that create a good day ever. So you gotta be there for you now

[peyton_o in reply to Ronkoz]

Ya that's good advice, to step back and focus on yourself

[Ronkoz in reply to peyton_o]

How's it going today - stay strong

[peyton_o]

Pretty bad, last night my mom got in a car accident because she had a seziure

[Ronkoz in reply to peyton_o]

I'm so sorry to hear that. I wish a speedy recovery to her and for you to continue to be so strong.

[peyton_o in reply to Ronkoz]

Thank you I'll try my best