I find it very difficult but I'm still married but now separated. My soon to be ex husband was very loving at first. We known each other since we were kids and gother together and was together over 19 years and married 9years (well still am) but he used to say horrible things then it got to him pushing me and you can guess what else happened. The one thing that sticks with me is one time he come home drunk and I was in bed and this point our little girl was in her own room thank god. He woke me up and got into bed and started pulling the covers off me so I grabbed them back as I was cold the next thing he was on top of me with a pillow over my face name calling ect. Then he got off me and punched me straight in the nose blood everywhere along with a fat lip and I crawled out if the bed and I saw my little girl sleeping in her bed and I went down stairs and didn't know what to do. In the morning all he kept saying was sorry sorry. I was silly enough to have another child but iam free and now my children are 9years and 5years old. I left which is over 2years but I still feel ashamed,hurt and suffering depression. I have a new partner but it's the fear. I still cry at times will it ever go away?