I'm Trying

[jupiterjane]

I'm trying .

I fill

every moment

with tasks

that distract,

to ignore,

to complete,

to ask

why ?

Why

am I

pretending

to look normal ?

Why do I lie

to make you

feel better.

I am no martyr ,

and yet

when asked

I'll deny my

pain,

so hard

another talk

about my future

will be.

I sit

to rest,

to reflect

most of my day

I spend facing

the deterioration

of my soul.

Every hour

I am awake

I watch as

more and more

of who I am

disappears.

Lost forever

and

completely.

I do not

want you

to know

too much ,

I just want you

to remember

the real me.

It's selfish,

I know,

but if I can't

stay here

with you,

then I want to

be kept within

your heart,

where I will

never be

forgotten.

Jupiterjane

[JennyR]

Beautifully written.

[Court]

Thanks, once again, for sharing your thoughts with us. You have so much courage and write so beautifully that one almost feels as though they can see into your soul. You have been given a gift and use it to its best advantage. Maybe, you could draw all these thoughts together and get them published.

Sue

[Walhalla50]

'Ours is not to question why

Ours is just to do and die '

Thank you for the nice poem. I am going out tonight and will ponder on your words as they are full of feeling and I relate to them

[tlongmire]

Another great one, Jane.

Hugs, Terri

[judam9]

beautiful, jane . thank you

[bmakla54]

Jane,

I believe the meaning of life is to create. I am an artist ( painting, jewelry and sculpture) going on 30 years. Creating is one of the ways of transcending our condition. So keep writing , it will help not only you but those that read it.....artistic expression is always cathartic.

Bmakla54

[jupiterjane]

I have been writing poetry my entire life. My Mother used to register me for Poetry Classes for Adults at our Community Center in Cincinnati. I have been through many workshops with talented Poets and have had my poetry published at 11. My life has been all about the written word, and you can read my life as it is chronicled through my poetry journals. Every sad, awkward, exciting, and enlightened moment. Poems used to flow so easily from my pen, a purging of my soul, a release for my emotions. Since being diagnosed with Parkinson's my ability to release any words in a poetic form is becoming more and more difficult. I struggle now to put words down and second guess and question my thoughts constantly. The whole thing depresses me but I will never give up the poetic word.

thanks to everyone who reads my words!

jupiterjane

[Marypdpd]

beauitful