What Next?

[mccshe]

Today I went to work , but I didn't work. Couldn't keep my thoughts together, couldn't keep up with the pace. Can't deal with the new computer system, can't be happy with myself. All in all , not a great day.

[Hidden]

Hey that type of experience can happen to anyone with or without PD. Your being very hard on yourself but I understand how undermining it is. Keep your head up, one bad day, think of it like that. Kindest C

[mccshe in reply to Hidden]

Thank you so much for your kind words. I am off to work again today and I will keep that in mind.

[Hamish]

Yes thats so true, some up some down, some good some bad, but remember your not alone keep talking to your friends , best wishes H

[mccshe in reply to Hamish]

It's so nice to have this outlet . Sometimes I do feel alone. Thankyou for reminding me that I am not and for your best wishes. They go a long way!

[Hidden]

I remember those days.

[mccshe in reply to Hidden]

Those days are truly the worst for me. They make me feel that I am not up to doing my job anymore and that , well, it's just devastating!

It's the new things, the computers, the pace! I feel that I am still a good nurse, capable of the best patient care. It is the time constraints and the newer technology that throw me through a loop. It is also , the people I work under, who complain to me about things like misspelling "nausea'...a word I clearly know how to spell, just a typo. It's this hurried way of doing things these days. My inability to move quickly stresses me tremendously and starts the whole ball of wax of nervousness and anxiety. Then i find myself unable to organize my tasks etc.... I could go on but i think you get the idea

[GrammyC in reply to mccshe]

Don't be too hard on yourself. We have all had days like this. I really know how you feel. I ended up retiring from a job I dearly loved after 25 years. I wanted to quit before my boss had to ask me to leave. It was clearly the right choice to make. Now, I can concentrate on exercise classes that are helping me a great deal, and taking better care of myself. Hang in there if you can, but know when enough is enough. Best of luck to you.

[mccshe in reply to GrammyC]

I am considering retiring from my postion in that I think if I leave of my own volition it won't feel as bad as being asked to resign.

I wish i could get over that hump, and know when to say when. I do believe it could be soon.

Thank you for sharing your experience with me

[Barb070 in reply to mccshe]

I was there six weeks ago and for my own health and the students I loved but could not teach, I took the early retirement. No stress has made a huge difference in my health. I'll be working out the loss for a long time, though.

[Koko]

Be gentle with yourself. Take pride in what you CAN do and what you have accomplished. Breathe slowly and understand that you are doing your best with what you can bring to the challange. We change every day of our lives whether we have PD or not. Be glad with who your are; with your mind,with your heart and your talents.THE efforts you give today produce work that many others will never do as well.Believe in yourself. Carry on!

[mccshe in reply to Koko]

Koko,

Where do you get such wisdom? I love the things you say, you are so right! You have truly lifted my spirits ! I hope everyone has an opportunity to read your comment knowing it is the best advice you could have offered!

You have touched my heart , along with the others who so kindly commented on my post. Thank you.

[Barb070]

I remember those days, too. Don't be hard on yourself and embrace the bad days for whatever message they are sending you. You are not alone.

[mccshe]

I have come to see that I could not be in better company. Thank you for reminding me that i am not alone.

I suppose even bad days are to be thankful for. Today I am grateful for having people like you and others who care enough to help. When I go to work today , I am taking all of you with me.

[PatV]

Yes, hang in there. You are experiencing a learning curve. Before I retired I was a systems analyst and I worked with many users who hated the computer, hated the system. I tried to make it user friendly. I was popular with my users, not so much with my management. I was motivated because my mom quit her job because the new computer system made her crazy and she retired 6 months before qualifying for full pension She's 92 now and wishes she could work. I retired when PD prevented me from visiting my users.

[mccshe in reply to PatV]

Thankyou for sharing your experiences .

[Sadiesadie]

Just remember that all have good and bad days!! Even those who are not blessed with Parkinsons have bad days. (Yes I did say blessed!! Having PD has taught me to be patient with myself and others & that there are more ways to get a job done than just one.)

So back to work knowing that you carry a little part of each of us for support and comfort. We will always be here!!!

[mccshe in reply to Sadiesadie]

It is comforting to know I have a voice here. I went to work today taking all the encouraging words from everyone.

It was difficult still, but I thought of the love and support offered to me here and used that to get through my day. It was better

[Sadiesadie in reply to mccshe]

Good, I am glad today was better!!

[JennyR]

see your email.

[SandyRose]

I have a parent with PD, but I also have my own health problems. I've been on Disability for the last few weeks. Just like you I couldn't think properly, walk or stand-up. I've gone through 5 doctors, 2 therapies, etc. I felt bad because I couldn't do as much as I wanted, management was angry with me, and co-workers were frustrated that I wasn't the same as years past. (I do understand.)

Through all of this I've watched how difficult it is for my Mom with PD. I've read comments left by others on this cite. I have been uplifted by those comments, passed many on to my MOM, and wished I had a cite like this for my condition. When you know people are behind you, and understand your life, it's so comforting. Continue to speak to those here and try to be patient, not only with yourself, but others around you. You're still a wonderful person. Yes, things in life change, but "The only constant in life is change."

Never stop believing in yourself. Use that strength from the inside for the outside world. If you need a day to reflect or a moment, take it. Those moments will slow down the thought process and help you to concentrate. We all need a moment to collect our thoughts.

Best wishes to you!

[mccshe in reply to SandyRose]

Sorry to hear of "your " struggles. I can see that you do understand what I am feeling.

Your words are heartfelt and appreciated very much. Yet another person with great insight to share, i thank you for that.

When I made this post I never expected to receive any responses. I had a terribly crappy day, didn't have anywhere to go with my frustration. I just typed....

Imagine my surprise to see such an outpouring of support and kindness! I am so moved, I cannot express how much!

My best to you and your mom. And again thank you for the advice

[Hidden]

Sending you a big cyber hug ((((())))). We are all in this together x

[mccshe in reply to Hidden]

THANK YOU

[Jose]

for every one who comments on your blog there are probably another hundred reading and with you. Keep us posted on the details. I'm certain there are solutions to any problem - in one way or another. Some of our suggestions may help you find a solution. Don't ever give up. We all help each other. I admire your courage for writing.

[mccshe in reply to Jose]

. Believe me when I tell you , the suggestions and comments here have been extremely helpful to me , including yours.

Throughout my life I have been the "rock" so many of my friends and family members came to rely on. Never thought I would be unable to be one for myself.

It is good to know, that when I have to dig deep for strength, I really don't have that far to go, you are all right here.

I hope that I deserve being admired for possessing courage..

Thank you Jose for your kindness.