PD has taken over my life: This disease... - Cure Parkinson's

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PD has taken over my life

Alock2020 profile image
16 Replies

This disease, combined with Depression/Anxiety Disorder and Hypersensitivity, has pretty much taken over my life. I can't go a day without having at least a few hours of almost unbearable, hellish torment. I shudder to think of what I'll be tempted to do if it progresses much further, since it's almost unbearable now. This despite exercise and adherence to the Mind Diet. I feel like my body has become some kind of self-torturing machine.

It has also convinced me that the Anti-Natalists are right, since, like Job, I curse the day I was born, and pity all of the kids who have come into being and are now certain to suffer. The various doctors and specialists can do nothing. And I still have to run errands and deal with taxes and forms and all of other nuisance and problems of life, and smile at people and pretend that I'm normal while suffering periods of major anxiety. When my legs feel weak and if I have to walk somewhere and appear normal t hose around me, I have to say to myself "Left, right, left, right" in order to distract myself from the pain. Often when I read a book or use my PC for a few hours, I'll get this weird dizziness or my head will "snap" into a new position (this is sort of like a spasm) and I'll drop the book.

I'm hoping that I can learn ways of dealing with this disease, other than gambling on the final method and hoping that the result is one which doesn't involve more suffering. I give quite a bit to charities, including the MJ Fox Foundation, and I'd like to think that I do this out of compassion, but my true reason is selfish- trying to buy Afterlife Insurance or the Stairway to Heaven or something similar, even though I'm basically an atheist. There are no certainties in life, which is one of its psychologically painful problems.

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Alock2020 profile image
Alock2020
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16 Replies
park_bear profile image
park_bear

No one person has a monopoly on spiritual knowledge. My understanding is formed by my own personal experience, my hobby of watching video accounts of near death experiences, and my sessions with a talented medium where we talk to my friends on the other side, including my main spiritual guide.

I abide in Divine Love from Source on a daily basis by virtue of my Qigong practice. This has played a big role in helping to mitigate my Parkinson's and also helps me to stay here on this side in spite of the difficulties. Detail on my Qigong practice here: healthunlocked.com/cure-par...

I experience Source as Divine Love only. If I stray from goodness the Divine Love energy diminishes which is my clue to get back on my proper path.

I have discussed intentionally ending my stay in the physical with my spirit guide. His advice was that I may do so when I am 100% sure I'm done. There's no penalty, such as a stay in hell, for those who choose this. I'm not encouraging anyone to exit, but neither is there a requirement to endure helpless misery.

The fact that you are able to appear normal in public tells me that your motor impairment is not too bad. I do not have that luxury as I am often noticeably impaired.

Alock2020 profile image
Alock2020 in reply topark_bear

Thank you for your comments. I guess that if I had your faith, I could withstand more.

WinnieThePoo profile image
WinnieThePoo in reply topark_bear

Sorry to hear things are not going so well. Hopefully the cinnamon will do the trick. Given your background have you thought about trying some DIY vibrotactile gloves? They have been transformative for me

park_bear profile image
park_bear in reply toWinnieThePoo

Thank you for your kind interest and concern. I am doing better - a friend who had not seen me for a month recently remarked upon my gait improvement.

I have been following your posts on the gloves with interest. I do have the background for this kind of project, but this is more than I would like to take on right now.

Farooqji profile image
Farooqji

You have represented the feelings of almost all the PD sufferers. Only miracle can save us from further miseries. My only hope is the stem cell therapy. Although not a cure, it has the potential to make a big difference

docjleonard55 profile image
docjleonard55

I too exercise regularly, am on a MIND diet, and take multiple supplements and vitamins. I also suffer with anxiety, which definitely affects my tremor. What I have found that helps alleviate the anxiety is meditation, specifically Yoga Nidra. If you don't know, Yoga Nidra is a guided meditation in which one lies on one's back and follows instructions from the guide which includes body scanning. I have found that my tremor can completely stop during this process, and it definitely reduces anxiety. I sometimes can not get into proper position, due yo strong tremor, (supine with arms out and palms up) so I will pronate my hand, and it still works. I wish you my best. PD is the disease that keeps on giving; this symptom, that symptom. One of my favorite guides is Elena Mironov. She can be found on YouTube. Good luck, hope this helps.

eschneid profile image
eschneid

PB............Really sorry to hear that you suffer physically so much every day. Being so uncomfortable and still providing so much valuable help to others here daily, gives some insight into your physical, mental & spiritual strength.

We are here for you whatever road you and your spirit guide take.

Best,

Eric

park_bear profile image
park_bear in reply toeschneid

Thanks, Eric.

Things had gotten pretty bad, but I'm getting some improvement having restarted cinnamon. So I'm optimistic I'll be doing better.

NiccNZ profile image
NiccNZ in reply topark_bear

I recently had 10 days without cinnamon due to going on a trip overseas. At about the 4-5 day mark my PD symptoms got noticably worse, "sharper" if that makes sense. When I got back home and restarted the cinnamon, my symtoms went back to normal almost immediately (1-2 days). So yeah, well worth taking regularly!

Smittybear7 profile image
Smittybear7 in reply topark_bear

The cinnamon help with muscle cramping? If so, how much and how often? Thanks for your help.

park_bear profile image
park_bear in reply toSmittybear7

I don't know. It does help with my main symptoms of motor impairment and tremor. As to additional details please see my report here: healthunlocked.com/cure-par...

eschneid profile image
eschneid

Alock............ I am very sorry you are suffering as well. I did not mean to leave you out in the last response. Would DBS or Fus be of help, have you checked these procedures out?

Alock2020 profile image
Alock2020 in reply toeschneid

I've thought about DBS; I've read that it has some risks.

00Mark profile image
00Mark

Hi Alock

Thank you for your very candid report. I think a lot of us recognise parts of our own experience.

It's understandable that you feel pretty hopeless at times - you are facing some unpleasant issues. But do give yourself a little credit for your own perseverance and your ability to smile for other people's benefit and carry on.

Bear in mind that Parkinson's itself can cause depression and anxiety, so it may be that changes to your treatment could help with that. Also, a huge amount of research is being done at the moment which may bring relief.

Regarding your neck, quite a few PD people seem to have issues there. I have a taichi teacher who emphasises the important of good posture, as well as gentle exercises, to help with this (details below) or you could try an osteopath.

I don't blame anyone facing a lot of suffering for considering a quick exit, but I think it'd be a mistake. Try not to fixate on some imagined future but concentrate on the here and now. Like the song says, One Day at a Time!

buqiworks.co.uk/about-me

LagLag37 profile image
LagLag37

The song “Three Little Birds “ helps me calm down. By Bob Marley or Kacie (sp?) Musgrave.

00Mark profile image
00Mark

Somebody just told me this aphorism and I think it's a good one to remember:I have Parkinson's - Parkinson's doesn't have me!"

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