The Black Box Gift and my new Username

[Jockboy17]

Hi All, I hope this post finds you well. I wanted to update you regarding my username. I used to go by Jockboy17 but now I am Joyfulgianni. Here's why I changed it: Jockboy was a nickname given to me by my older brothers. It was not a complimentary nickname as most of us guys know about nicknames and older brothers and friends etc. I was so competitive as a kid and all I wanted to do was play sports.....basketball, baseball, football, tennis, racquetball, softball....the list has been endless. I have struggled mightily with a capital S with competition, anger, temper and a host of other negative emotions associated with my obsession. My temper as a kid was legendary. My brothers got a great deal of pleasure seeing if they could get me to pop! I'm much better now but it has been a life long journey trying to not act out when competing.... and then the diagnosis......This diagnosis has taken me on a journey that I did not expect, to include symptoms of depression, anxiety and alot of other sh## that i never had experienced prior. A friend ours (pwp) shared about this condition being a gift that comes in a black box. Tough to capture that vibe but I'm creeping up on it. Along that the lines of that philosophy, pd has taught and shaped me in ways I never would have considered in my estimation if this didn't occur. So to wrap up this post:

I have been playing most recently in my life competitive tennis. I'm pretty good but figuring out how to play competitive tennis, manage meds, manage dystonia, manage energy flow for the purpose of competition (which I derived a great deal of my identity from) has led me to finally detach from competition. I'm 30 days "sober" and I have never felt more JOYFUL. Hence Joyful gianni! My wife's nickname for me, which is loving, is "Gianni". My real name is John. Best, Joyfulgianni (John)

[jimcaster]

Awesome! Continued success on your journey!

[ConnieD]

Thats a beautiful story!! And your PWP friend was wise, sometimes it’s hard to see at first but there are lessons we can learn through hardships that possibly we otherwise never would.😊

[rescuema]

Good for you and I hope you continue to do better! I've thought of changing my own username because I signed up here very impromptu while trying to read a post on an iPhone and used RescueMA (Massachusetts) but it ended up sounding like a "mom" with the lowercase regrettably. It's too bad the site doesn't allow for a more hassle-free username change as in elsewhere. Oh well, it's what it is... 😅

[SonarsMom]

Joyfulgianni, I love that you decided to change your name here to reflect what you want in life rather than what others drove you to. Along a similar line, for several years, I scribbled out my name when signing checks and documents. I would write, "Mary Cant...." and then trail off. One day I realized that every time I wrote that I was sending myself a negative message and I decided to consciously eliminate the T. For about 20 years now, I've been signing checks and documents, "Mary Can...." and then trailing off. I think conscious acts like this make a real difference in our lives.

[Despe]

Gianni,

No need to compete, but you need to keep moving. Everything is possible when there is determination.

[Jockboy17 in reply to Despe]

Thanks Despe, I believe my amount of movement has increased since getting “sober”. The difference is the type of movement and more joyful movement. I still will “hit” with tennis friends but a lovely door has opened for me and wifey as well!

[Despe in reply to Jockboy17]

Good to hear it! That's the spirit.

[Hidden]

Thank you for sharing your story with us! There’s is great power in how we refer to ourselves.

[ryzlot]

Why not just go by JOHN BEST

[Saranvasu]

What a lovely story! Keep up your good spirits, you are encouraging me as a caregiver to my husband.