Is anyone else out there a family member of a PD patient & experiencing difficulty with the memory loss or moodiness of their loved one.

[DAUGHTERofPD]

My father forgets much of what we talk about. A couple days ago we discussed his finances did some banking in the morning. By the afternoon he was asking what his balance is and irrate that I moved his money. I explained to him that we worked on a plan together in the morning and that he moved his money to another account. I don't have access to his accounts and cannot do so anyway. Regardless, he was screaming at me and making terrible accusations. This is one example of many. It is very difficult to deal with.

[Joealt]

I think that I bother my wife with some of my PD whimsy. I can usually tell when I hear that little growl in her voice. Today I said something to her and she gave me her Voice of Authority. I winced a bit and got a little minitremor in my right hand. I'm a little bit like one of Pavlovs Dogs that way.

[Joealt in reply to Joealt]

The way I understand it my memory loss evolves around forgetting that I said "Parkinson's sucks!" the day before and the day before and the day before that to my lovely and patient wife.

[DAUGHTERofPD in reply to Joealt]

It can become frustrating. I wonder if it is frustrating on your end? I wish I knew if my Dad has a clue or any slight recollection of the conversation that we have already had about the same thing. I often try to remind him of our earlier conversation, but he becomes angry when I do that. When I say "Remember? We talked about this earlier while sitting on the couch?", he gets very upset with me. I can't even get him to remember when I tell him specific things he has said. I often give that voice of authority and try to bring the conversation to an end as quickly as possible because, the truth is, I don't want to have it again. I wish I had more patients. I know he can't help it. I know the disease and medications are causing it.

[srarndt]

Hi Dopd,

Ouch! That must not have felt good at all!

Has his dementia been analyzed by a comptetent neurologist to determine if it is definitely PD related? Has Alzeimer's been ruled out?

Steve (Bisbee, AZ)

[DAUGHTERofPD]

His doctor has said that he is showing signs of Parkinson's Disease Demantia. At one point, she said he was being over medicated and reduced the amount of sinemet he was taking. That helped some, for a while. He's also taking Lexapro and Numenda (i think) to help his thinking process.

My best friend described it best. Have you seen the movie "Ground Hog Day"? It's like that. I wake up every day and have the same conversations, with the same results, every day. "How much am I spending on this care? Wow! That much! That's unbelievable! It's too much! How much money do I have? Calculate this. How long will my money last?" Over and over and over again. The information is now pinned on his bulleton board, but we still go through it at least once a day. That's one conversation out of about six that we have every day.

It's difficult for me because I'm so tired of repeating myself and replaying the same thing over and over again, while pretending that it's the first time. I'm not very good at the pretending part, although I'm working on it. Usually I just get frustrated and try to remind him that we have already talked about this. That never ends well.

[Dennis in reply to DAUGHTERofPD]

I can't always remember but when I am strongly challenged on what I think to be true (truth) then it makes me worse. I would suggest if it would work to tape your conversation so you could play it back later when your dad disagrees with you and says you are wrong. If you use this be sure to do it quietly in love with great compassion for your Dad.

Good luck, Dennis

[Kat00]

I can understand your frustration...I have a job where i frequently give the same information over and over again to the same people....but in the case of your Father, when you remind him you have told him this before, and in a sense argue with him proving him wrong and you right~ you take away his dignity..no wonder he gets upset..

I might suggest a big white board with magnets. On it write down his most frequently asked questions and whatever appointments, prescriptions , financial information he needs. Attach paperwork he wants to review often with magnets. Then when he asks tell him- "I think that information is on the white board, Why don't you take a look and see if its there" If he cant find it, you can point it out to him.

I know this requires work on your part, but if he is not remembering, constantly making him aware of his lapse in memory will not help either of you...it will only cause hurt for both of you . I wish you the best for you and your dad in this difficult situation.

[DAUGHTERofPD]

Kat00..... I understand what you are saying. I don't want to make him feel bad. It's funny that you suggest the white board. I recently started writing things down in a notebook, making him a copy of it and pinning it on a bulletin board for him. Unfortunately, he still asks the same questions, even though the notes are right there. I point out the notes and he becomes upset anyway.

I will take what you said to heart and will stop pointing out that we've already talked about it. I'm very happy to read your response. Thank you.

[DAUGHTERofPD]

Dennis... I have thought about recording some of our conversations for that reason, but I'm afraid that replaying them will really upset him. He is already very sensitive and although in a normal situation that may be useful, I'm not sure it'll help him. What do you think?

[hollyb2]

I am not quit sure how to help your dad,because I am the one with PD and not to long ago I lost my car at work yes I said at work, I looked out in the parking lot for over 20 minutes,called my husband, he stated it would be ok,and he was

on his way.I went back into work and called security like my husband suggested. They arrived and drove me around for another 30 miinutes looking , and still no luck, my husband was on the phone trying to keep me calm. the last place we looked was the parking garage which is where my husband suggested several times, I was in tears we entered the garage and there on the left hand side 3rd car in was mine. My husband just said you were just not meant to drive home he just held told me to leave the car at workand drove me home, I am not sure how he keeps so calm. So hang in there.

[SandyRose]

I've been reading over these comments left by people. I agree that my Mom's emotions are pulled as tight as possible. I talk about her topics or mine, but so many times what I say isn't right. That includes when I agree with her. I got frustrated today and took it out on cleaning the house. (At least it's clean.)

Telling a family member to take a break sometimes helps. We remember the person he/she was. It's so hard to watch this happening. (I realize it is so much worse for the person.) Everyone's emotions are difficult to understand.

We're here to listen, discuss, and problem solve. I am certainly grateful to find this cite.