Conversation

[Daisy55]

I have written previously about the value of Hospices .

But what I find so difficult with my husband at home is communication and no emotion . He will talk to our sons for an hour or more , when they visit , totally about his disease, and the hospice .

He does not communicate with me , and when he was very ill in hospital in 2017 the nurses said he does not communicate . He doesn’t see anything outside of himself .

I know there is no solution to this , as he is concrete in this world of his now , but it does get very difficult .

[sassy59]

Hello Daisy, that does sound really difficult for you and it must be very frustrating. You can only do your best and I’m sure that’s what you do.

I’m glad the hospice is there and hope they can continue to help. Take care xxxx

[Daisy55 in reply to sassy59]

Thank you , Sassy for giving me support , it helps so much xx❤️

[Hidden]

Hi Daisy55,

So sad for you. I think one of the hardest things that comes as a side-effect of someone's dementia is the loneliness that comes from having only the shell of the former person you love, left behind with you.

You sound so brave in accepting the status quo, but that really doesn't make it any easier to bear. I don't think there's an answer to making you feel any better, but I do think it's very important that you do communicate how you are feeling and I applaud you for your post telling us.

You are every bit as important in the whole equation of dementia as your husband is. You need care and love too, just as you always have. I do hope that your sons are supportive when they are with you and that you are able to tell them too, how this all leaves you feeling.

Try not to take it too personally that your husband appears to be better at communicating with your sons than you. It isn't something he's choosing. It's just that he can't communicate that feeling any more. This seems to happen sometimes in life-changing situations, even when dementia isn't the cause.

Please don't pretend to be stronger than you are feeling and if you just want to let off steam here, then we're here to listen.

Please take care of yourself and try to stay strong. Very best wishes to you.

[Daisy55 in reply to Hidden]

Thank you , that is very informative and helps greatly . He has not been diagnosed with Dementia , but I do feel that is there ,and has been very slowly creeping in . Now you have explained about why he talks to my sons and not me , that , that communication with me isn’t there now . I can relax more and just let it go . Thank you so much xx❤️

[Hidden in reply to Daisy55]

Sorry for misunderstanding your husband's diagnosis Daisy55, but if my reply helped in any way, I'm glad. Take care.

[Daisy55 in reply to Hidden]

You have helped so much , even though he hasn’t been diagnosed as yet , you can see things with him that match one type of dementia . Your post helped me so much , thank you xx