Is this the ens?

[XSitch38]

I think we may be coming to the end with mom. Sore on hip now grade 4 and she is on antibiotics with nurses coming every day. For the first time I have had to get up during the night to turn her, so just gone back to bed to see if I can catch up a bit? Dreading the next few days, and as someone else has said I don't want to lose her, but it is heartbreaking to see her like this. I wish she could just go peacefully in her sleep. Trying to be inventive with her food to increase the protein and hubby came home from shopping with soy products, cottage cheese and peanut butter so will get creative in the kitchen. Feels so sad!

[Hidden]

Isn't is awful. Had the ambulance here for nearly 8 hours last night trying to get hubby to breathe. I know he is dying, but I want him to be comfortable. Sleep deprived and tearful today,

[sassy59 in reply to Hidden]

Sending heartfelt wishes to you. You’re in my thoughts. Xxxx

[MAS_Nurse in reply to Hidden]

I'm so sorry to hear this. We send our love & best wishes to you both. It is such a difficult time. Do check about having an End of life care plan in place with your GP & DN. Make sure he is comfortable and pain free. Keep hydrated with subcutaneous infusion if he's not drinking. Keep in touch with us we are here for you.

NHS End of life care: nhs.uk/conditions/end-of-li...

Best wishes,

MAS Nurse

[XSitch38 in reply to Hidden]

Oh bless you. You are doing so well and we are all with you x

[Lynd in reply to Hidden]

Thinking of you x

[Hidden in reply to Hidden]

So sorry to hear this exhaustedwife. Holding you in my heart too and wishing you courage. Please also be very kind to yourself and let the emotions flow whenever you need to. This is such a tough thing to be going through. Thinking of you.

[sassy59]

Thinking of you at this very difficult time XSitch. I hope that when the time comes, it’s very peaceful. Try and rest when you can. Xxxx

[XSitch38 in reply to sassy59]

Thank you so much x

[starveycat]

May your guardian angel keep you safe and protect you gentle hugs

[XSitch38 in reply to starveycat]

Thank you. We all need a guardian Angel at times like these x

[Uzula in reply to XSitch38]

Guardian Angels are with you ALL the time.x

[MAS_Nurse]

Sending you our love and best wishes. Words seem inadequate at a time like this. You have done everything possible to care for your mum. Do you have an end of care plan with your GP and district nurse? If not may it's time to have this discussion with them. It is important to make sure that your mum is pain-free and hydrated, even it is having a subcutaneous drip in to keep her comfortable.

NHS End of life care: nhs.uk/conditions/end-of-li...

MAS Nurse

[XSitch38 in reply to MAS_Nurse]

Thank you so much. Our district nurses have been wonderful and have both our interests at heart. They don't always advocate intravenous fluids but mom is drinking well and swallowing ok at the moment. However I am not afraid to voice my opinion and make sure she gets everything I feel she deserves and needs. Hubby used to be an ambulance technician so that helps. We have a DNR in place and a 'Just in Case' pack with morphine etc in case it is needed. She doesn't seem too bad this morning but nurses here at 1pm to do dressings so time will tell.

[MAS_Nurse in reply to XSitch38]

Hi again,

That's great and positive. I am not advocating intravenous fluids, but subcutaneous fluids which are a needle and fluid line just under the skin to keep hydrated if no longer taking oral fluids. It is considered in palliative care on an individual basis. Here's some more information:

palliativecareguidelines.sc...

BW

MAS Nurse

[XSitch38 in reply to MAS_Nurse]

Thank you so much for the info. Will bear that in mind if it gets to that stage. Nurses been today and have had Toto device fitted to mattress so I can stay in bed tonight. Some improvement in sores so fingers crossed. Just a waiting game to see if it's her time to leave, or if she's staying with us for a little longer.

[Bella395]

Xsitch38 and exhausted wife - I don’t know what to say that would be of any comfort. Just want you both to know that I am so sorry and hope that you have the support and strength that you need at this sad time. How difficult it is to let go when we know that we can’t do any more to keep them with us. That is the carers lot and it is so hard. Thinking about you both at this difficult and sad time. 😥

[XSitch38 in reply to Bella395]

Thank you. We all have to go through this at some time I n our lives but I think it's even harder when you've been the main care provider. We've had mom here for over seven years now and I wouldn't swap this time with her as she's been a wonderful patient and a much nicer person than the one I knew as a child/young woman. However it has taken its toll. I have to let her go when she's ready and look to a different future where Leigh and I can do as we please, and even perhaps have a holiday! What is that?

[Hidden]

Hi XSitch38,

So sorry to hear of this really difficult time for you. It is horrible, in that dilemma of wanting to hang on for dear life to someone who means so much to you, but at the same time not wanting her to suffer a moment longer than necessary. So I can only reach out to you and say that I hold you in my heart and wish you all the courage you'll be needing for the days ahead.

It sounds very tiring for you too, so please remember to be as kind to yourself as you can be too. Deeply emotional times are exhausting in their own right. But even if it's really hard work and a heartache that seems too hard to bear, cherish your last little while with that special lady who is your mum. Very best wishes.