regretting

[musa08]

hello. I am musa. I am new here.

I have only two things I love most in this world. one is music and another one is a person who I don't even know before his death. I don't know why but, that persons death affected me so much and I feel so hurt now. I cant go through a day without thinking about that person. why I feel like this? why do I have this hurt when I don't even know him? and most importantly he is MUSICIAN. he committed sucide last year. I've been like this for a year. I came to know him after a month of his death anniversary. I even feel like regretting not knowing him before. I am regretting every second.

[Hidden]

Hi Musa,

Thanks for coming to post here. But this is actually a community for those people who need help with the problems concerning the intensive caring needed for the health problems of old age, so there isn’t much I can offer in the way of practical help for you.

I have met people in the past who have felt as you do, having been touched and saddened by the life story of someone they never managed to meet personally. I think it’s a very empathetic thing to feel for a fellow human being’s suffering, and in that respect I think it’s a similar thing to the concern we feel for someone who needs our help in a practical way and is still here with us.

Of course it’s OK and normal to be sad for someone who you didn’t get to know personally, but you have dwelt a lot on this and, as the feelings of sadness continue, it is probably time to talk to a health professional about your sadness. Talking it through with someone who understands how to deal with what you feel, will help you through this.

No matter how difficult the life struggles of the person you describe in your post were, try to remember they are now over and it can’t help in any way to be feeling as you do. It’s very important that you take care of yourself too.

Very best wishes to you.

[MAS_Nurse]

Hello musa08. Sorry to hear that you are hurting so much. Callendersgal has given you an excellent reply and I would also encourage you to seek professional help at this stage. As she also explained this might not be the most appropriate community to provide you with the support you need, however please look around the Health Unlocked site where there are lots of other communities that may better suit your needs at the moment.

I have included some practical websites for you to contact if you feel you need more immediate help

Samaritans - 24hr helpline on 116123

NHS 111 (non-emergency)

MIND UK charity - helpline 0300 123 3393 Text 86463

SANEline Tel: [phone]pm until 10.30pm daily.

If you are not in the UK you can contact the International Crisis Support Helplines are at

healthunlocked.com/mental-h...

There is help out there. Take care and we wish you well.

[FredaE]

You have had very good advice from here. I think your problem is not so much what is happening as the fact that it has got out of control. It is normal to feel empathy for people from even the distant past. Do you recall how upset people were when they found the remains of Richard III a little while back.? 500 years ago and people were fighting to restore him to a proper resting place with the same determination they would have felt for their own parents. When I started researching my ancestry I found two uncles who had died in infancy and had never been registered in the census. I did not know their names or when or where they were born but when I came across them on someone else's gravestone I felt so relieved for them. The odd thing is I had no particular affection for their brothers and sister but I was determined to find out about them to give them a life. So, you see you are not odd at all . Just need a bit of rebalanceing maybe. Good luck

FredaE