i feel so sad....deflated and humbled - Care Community

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i feel so sad....deflated and humbled

secrets22 profile image

A tenant of mine, its been confirmed ,his cancer has spread throughout his body,he had been treated for the overuse of over the counter pain killers,and then sent for further tests to a major hospital in Bristol where they discovered he is riddled with cancer.

He had been leading a double complicated life,with his wife and a man,of which his wife was not aware of until now,but thankfully they have reached an amical compromise and both only have their husband/partners best interests at heart,its complicated,and i would never pass judgement or aspersions on how people choose to live.

This morning i saw him leave with his wife to return to Cornwall,and i was choked,and not quite sure why,as i hardly knew the guy,and yet as an empath i understood,it was like knowing that i will never see him again,and that hurts as he was here for around 10 years,the awful thing is he always looked so strong and healthy ,and even today he looks so well.

Life is indeed a fragile circumstance and we dont often realise how fragile life is,so please, all,enjoy your days ,for non of us know what another day might bring.x

18 Replies
sassy59 profile image
sassy59Ambassador

That’s very sad secrets and I understand you feeling emotional. You’re right about enjoying each day as life is indeed fragile. The sun is shining here which us house to see. Sending good wishes to you. Xxx❤️

Catgirl1976 profile image
Catgirl1976 in reply to sassy59

I know when you hear news like that it shakes you up even though you have an idea somethings wrong it's still a shock when it's official though!

That's it though today's all we have and tomorrow isn't guaranteed to anyone.

When things like that happen it makes you realise how well off you really are and count your blessings.

How are you and the dogs getting on?

Baby is fine and still getting spoilt!

I have had my flu jab this morning at boots so that's another thing out of the way and it doesn't hurt and got some groceries from Tesco whilst I was there and then came home and had lunch and will be spending the rest of the day watching films and relaxing.

my dogs are a blessing my friend,they are happy and contented,and glad that Baby is well and spoilt,.And its good you've had the flu jab...we will soon be jabbed out.x

I booked it back in July.

Didn't get the job I went for last Tuesday but I wasn't upset and feel it was a blessing in disguise as it was only temporary anyway.

God bless you all Secrets, I wish there was more I could say but there isn't xx

Thinking of your tenant, his family and friends, and you Roddy x

How are you recovering after your nasty fall?

I'll be posting an update later. But getting there slowly

if i'm honest my friend,not very well,the pain is still terrible.x

It always jars you when you have a fall doesn't it?

Callendersgal profile image
CallendersgalAdministrator

Hi Roddy, Lives are often complicated and it's right not to pass judgment. Of course it's better all round not to lead a double life, but it happened, and the couple have come to their own conclusion about events and it's entirely their affair. So it's understandable that you feel so sad, especially knowing that it's a final farewell. You've been through one yourself in recent years and a very close one at that, so it's to be expected that this will have an effect on you. You know deeply and personally what real loss is. It's OK to feel this way. Give yourself permission to be sad. It's a quite hard person who wouldn't have some emotion after learning that someone known to them is on a final journey in life. Life is a fragile and unpredictable thing and maybe events like this are a needed reminder that we should cherish each day, even when it's challenging for ourselves. Be kind to yourself and if you need tears, then shed them. Thinking of you!

That's it though crying does you good!

Hi Roddy yes we don't know what's going on inside of us we look well as does my brother in law and nieces dad yet they are in danger with bad veins from smoking one had heart attack other has to keep legs moving or may loose them there only 47 and 61 yes I worry too much about the future and that in itself can make us I'll we have to apprieciate each day and our loved ones like it's ours and there last day take care my lovely friend xx

Thats a sad story , but hopefully the person you mention can now be at peace. Its hard to come to terms when someone is gone even just a neighbour leaving. Take a moment to ponder and express your feelings of loss. Life often changes quicker as we get older , so cherish each moment as it comes life is too short to waste a moment. x

When I left my last job back in 2019 due to bullying from management lots of colleagues had cried on my last day due to the unfairness of the situation.

I have come to terms with it now and I feel that I was done a favour and there was no future at that job but still it's wrong to bully though.

I agree with you but this is another topic to the post of secrets22. Hope you have no long lasting trauma from your management experience in your last job Catgirl1976. Anything that causes stress in employment is nasty & wrong. I was employed as a disabled person with adjustment but the staff you work with do not always accept the rules. I could site a lot of cases of disability discrimination, work wise and otherwise. Have a good day, hope you find a new job when ready.

I wrote to management a few months ago and told them how well I am doing since I left them and let them know how their behaviour was a gift in dirty wrapping as I would have hated those promoted jobs and training I never got there!

Yes in regard to Secrets he has had a horrible time of things hasnt he but it's nice he has the dogs for company as dogs are great friends.

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