British Tinnitus Association
1,523 members • 1,288 posts

Will this calm down


I hate to be asking advice for a second time, but was wondering if anyone would be able to help.

I asked advice re a dinner dance a couple of weeks ago and had some kind replies😊.

Sadly soon after this my lovely mum was admitted to hospital and very sadly passed away. We have not had the funeral yet.

Although this is a huge loss to us as a family, she had suffered a lot and somehow the time was right because of this I feel at peace with the fact that she no longer has to suffer.

So far I have felt quite calm about this, but my T seems to have worsened quite a bit and although it is very bad usually I was dealing with it well and feeling I was turning a corner. I have only had it for 6 months. I know this is a difficult time at the moment but I am finding this increase in intensity difficult and am worried it will undo a lot of good work re my previous 'habituation' to T and also if it will stay at this increased level, it was at a bad enough level before.

I would love to hear any advice etc from anyone who has experienced similar or is more experienced re The ups and downs of T in general.

Many thanks,

I don't want this post to be depressing for anyone it is not meant to be would just love any info anyone is able to give.


8 Replies
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Hi Curly - apologies for the nickname, it just seems right!

Firstly, my condolences for your loss. It comes to us all, but it's never easy.

T does fluctuate in volume & intensity in the normal course of events anyway, but anything that contributes to the brain's ability to filter out the unnecessary noise will leave you with more intrusive tinnitus. If you have a bad cold, you have a hangover, you're feeling particularly stressed or just upset about something, it provokes our friend. So a family bereavement is quite likely to cause a problem w/ your T. The important thing to keep in mind is that this will probably be a temporary deterioration. I'm about 6mths further down the line than you with my T and I'm only just starting to feel like I can live with it and even then, I still have really bad days where I absolutely cannot live with it. All I can tell is that you will have good days and bad days, possibly forever more. Accept the good days when they come and do your best to ride out the bad days, one day at a time.


Hi Curlew so sorry for your loss but from what you say it is a blessing it isn’t easy losing your parents,I have had T for 15 years now and yes you do learn to live with it but on saying that when it is bad it still gets me down any little bit of stress or upset makes it worse mine has just settled down again after about 3weeks usually it is a low humming in my left ear but 3 weeks ago I woke up with a loud engine drone noise in my head my head felt as though it was going to burst due to the pressure I had trouble hearing especially where background noise is present I have to try to keep busy to take my mind off it but it is hard and I do find listening to my personal CD player ( ocean sounds ) helps it’s impossible to watch TV unless I put sub titles on and turn the sound down because the sound is distorted otherwise and this makes me more stressed but I know with experience at some point it will calm down again and this is what keeps me sane I suppose. Take care and I hope the funeral goes ok


I'm so sorry to hear of your loss Curlew.

Tinnitus often flares up at tough times when you are upset, anxious or under stress. We call this a "spike" because it goes up ... and then down. Just keep plugging away, and maybe re-visit some of the things that have helped you in the past, such as using sound or relaxation techniques.

We're all behind you and thinking of you.

Warmest wishes

Nic (BTA Communications Manager and Forum Administrator)

1 like

Thankyou all of you, you are so kind😊. Yes I'm telling myself this will be a temporary blip and I'm projecting myself into the future a little bit thinking it will have settled a little by then. Positive thinking.

Curly a good name R1B 😊 Hope you are all having 'calm times' at the moment. Don't know where we would be without tinnitus friends 😊.

I'd love it if someone could explain how to do those 'likes' for posts.

Many thanks.


Hello Curlew,

I am very sorry for your loss. I just wanted to say that I developed Tinnitus a few weeks after my dad died, at the end of July. Like your mum, he was suffering a lot. However, it's always hard to lose a parent, whatever the situation.

I had also had blocked ears (wax), just after he died, and a few other minor health things developed. I'm now sure they are all related. I am clearly not very experienced in T, but I have read masses and am taking a number of supplements now and even trying acupuncture! The only time I had 'spikes' was when I got really stressed about the T and when I tried an on-line hearing test! Those high tones! (Take care on those).

So, I'm absolutely positive things will settle for you. It may just take a little while, and try and rest up. As for the 'Like' , just click on the thumb pic. All the very best.


Hello TT123,

Thankyou so much for your kind post.

I hope you are having some success with your T regarding the supplements you are taking and the acupuncture. Perhaps you could keep me/us on here posted as every little helps with this weird and difficult condition.

Take care and best wishes.😊


Hi ! It sounds as though you are going through a pretty torrid time, and you maybe more stressed than you think you are. I have Tinnitus now for just over 1 year and it hardly troubles me but this might be down to my practicing.(trancendental Meditation) msny years ago. You might know it as " Mindfulness ".You could liken it to a calming or sedative action on a troubled mind. I had been doing TM for years before I developed Tinnitus and even though the Tinnitus upset me initially within a short time I adapted to tje new situation .

The very best things you can do is some kind of mind calming regime and soon the Tinnitus will appear magically detached from the center of your being. Moreover, some people find a sedative and muscle relaxer called Amatriptaline creates a similar affect as Meditation. But unfortunately it doesn't work on everyone.

I hope this of interest for you. If you don't do anything then you could be stalked for years by yout Tinnitus.

Best Wishes.


Thankyou so much S53. I am interested in your comments on mindfulness as this is something that is mentioned regularly as being helpfull for tinnitus, as soon as I manage to have some free time I am hoping to find some good quality mindfulness classes. I do think it's important to find the right classes though.

Thankyou for your time and comments.

Hope you are having 'calm times'.C


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