a wee update

[Teddyxxx]

I just wanted to let you know that my wonderful partner has passed away. The cancer killed his liver...it was very aggressive. I know this is probably the wrong forum but it's the only one I have and it's full of genuine, caring people. Its me that has the liver issues...his cancer had spread to his liver. My heart is completely broken. After working hard to be kind to my liver,I am hurting it again. I shouldn't let myself die,but I feel a bit indifferent about it

[h0b0]

So very sorry for your loss. Maybe in time you'll start to look after yourself again.xx

[Millie09]

My condolences teddyxxx , so sad 😞.. please give yourself time to grieve. I totally totally get how heartbroken 💔 you must be .

I was exactly the same when My dad passed away with cancer after caring for him for 16month,.. I too turned back to the demon drink .. so I am no person to judge as I too have cirrhosis..you will come through this

God bless you x ..Linda x

[Dolly1001]

My deepest deepest condolences to you! & all your family 🥀. I sincerely hope you are not working through this alone. Your partner is now at peace and their pain is gone 🕊 Give yourself some time and right now, you must be nice to yourself. 🌹

[Aotea2012]

I’m really sorry to read your post. The loss of your partner must be heartbreaking. It’s bound to be a difficult time so make sure you are looking after yourself and allow yourself to grieve. As others have said you will get through this, although it may not feel like it right now. Take care.

[Teddyxxx in reply to Aotea2012]

Thank you xxx

[redpoint72]

hello love. I'm so sorry for your loss,life just isn't fair is it😢.give yourself time to grieve. I lost my lovely dad earlier this year ....i still have some terrible days. sometimes I don't know where to turn. sometimes just a hug can work wonders. take one day at a time,and engage with your family and friends. chat here anytime. my best chris

[Teddyxxx in reply to redpoint72]

I don't know where to find comfort xx

[redpoint72]

hello love,have you family you can turn to?.quite often folk can talk to friends better in difficult circumstances . its a very upsetting and difficult time your going through,but please go easy on your liver....im not judging at all...i don't judge anyone. but I've learnt from experience. please keep chatting on here if it helps. my best chris

[Teddyxxx in reply to redpoint72]

I don't have family. That's why I just don't know who to talk to. I just feel so alone 😞

[AyrshireK]

Hi Teddy, sorry for the loss of your partner. I don't know if this will help you with your current situation as regards trying to deal with the grief. nhs.uk/mental-health/feelin...

There are details of a helpline for Cruse who are specialists in grief support and you can phone them as they provide an outlet for speaking about your loss.

I am sure your loved one wouldn't want you to go on a mission to self destruction.

Katie

[Teddyxxx in reply to AyrshireK]

I hoped you would be in touch, Katie. Is there any way that I could possibly speak with you?

[AyrshireK in reply to Teddyxxx]

I am happy to correspond via PM but I don't do phone or anything like that off forum. There are better placed people for grief support via the phone like the Cruse Helpline cruse.org.uk/

Katie

[Cat-B]

I’m so sorry for your loss. Grieve in your own way and in your own time, just remember that when you want help it’s out there. I’m sure everyone on here understands how traumatic this is for you. If you need to drink try making it a reward for achieving something else ( no matter how small, like a walk round the garden or to the end of the road and back. I know a lot of people will disagree with me, but this way you are in control of the alcohol not the other way around!) I wish you the very best and will be here to help and listen when your ready

[Deejay1952]

So sorry to hear about your loss, you are in my prayers.

[Maisy2020]

So sorry for your loss .

[Roy1955]

Talk to the funeral director.They will point you in the direction of face to face help.

[Aztec632]

So sorry for your loss. My heart goes out to you. Sending a big wrap around hug x

[Readlots]

I’m so sorry for your loss. Life is just so unfair at times and it’s horrible seeing someone you love being affected by the same organ that you’re struggling with yourself even if the cause is different.

You’ve said you don’t have family and don’t know where to find comfort. That’s so sad. During mybeteavements I’ve found comfort through talking to friends who have also lost someone. My work had a bereavement network which really helped because everyone was in the same boat and understood. I found that a local yoga centre was brilliant. They ran meditation sessions and I met others who were also struggling in a calm and supportive environment. Our local hospice ran different bereavement sessions. I’m not religious but Mums church reached out and I had a lovely conversation with their bereavement support coordinator, this was just what I needed at the time. I find my garden very soothing and pets. We all find our own at and you will too - what you are going through is just awful but it is normal. Hang in there, you’ll find your way through this. X

[Teddyxxx in reply to Readlots]

How did you get so wise? Thank you so much for your thoughtful and kind message. My beautiful border collie, Teddy, is bringing me a lot of comfort ❤ Nicola x

[Readlots in reply to Teddyxxx]

Your welcome! And wisdom comes with experience. When I lost my Dad it floored me but I found my way through. When my grandmother then Mum died within 18 months it was devastating but I knew the ropes. Grief’s different each time and everyone grieves differently. There’s no right or wrong. We all just look for comfort where we can and you meet kind people who help you through. Often people you never knew before. Sounding you strength and a virtual hug x

[teletonetapper]

Thoughts and condolences to you. Sad to read your post but you are in the very early stages of grief and certainly shock. It is extremely hard to come to terms with a loss of a friend let alone your beloved partner. In time, you will remember the happy moments you shared and there must surely be someone you can talk to. I cannot imagine you have no close friends at all. May be the Samaritans could help you -not sure but worth a try. Do take care. x

[Maxy6]

So sorry for your loss. I can't help you with resources as I'm in the US, but there are some good ones in above posts.Wishing you peace and love.🕊️❤️🕊️ Max

[Positive001]

Oh Teddy l am so sorry for the loss of your partner. There is no set time for grief you just have to go through it to help you heal. Eventually you emerge from the heavy dark cloud that has engulfed you but be prepared to get smacked in the face when you least expect it. Just go with it, don't fight it and again it will lift as quickly as it arrived . Apparently CRUSE is a very good point of contact if you are struggling. Take comfort from all the good times you had together, the memories you made, cry when you need to, smile when you can and don't let anyone tell you you should be over it by now. You have to cope with your loss in your own way and in your own time.

Look after yourself

Laura x 💔

[Readlots in reply to Positive001]

So true!

[Dogbot]

I’m so sorry to hear about your partner it is the worst news for you ever 😢, but with out preaching the answer is not at the bottom of the bottle. I was an alcoholic haven’t drunk in 19 years now and I can say the answer is talking about it to someone, be it us or someone else. Please please please look after yourself your partner would won’t you to so in there memory help yourself ,we are all thinking of you 💕.Stay Safe All

Dogbot 🐶🌈Dave

[Qr83k_-Jd]

Please don't die you have just gone through a terrible shocking experience and you have broken heart. You are grieving so bad it hurts and that is awful to go through but, it does eventually get a wee bit better as the days go by. I am so sorry for you and can totally understand some of your grieving. My son died in a cot death and although it was a long time ago but I keep him in my heart but although it hurts i can get great pleasure from being positive about him and if anyone asks i love to tell them about him and the things we shared together. You don't know me but i felt i needed to let you know that it does get better. You will a,ways have a special place in you r heart for him and one day you will talk about the positive aspects of your life together. I wish you well.

[marknash67]

Sorry for yr loss I really am... nothing I can say will take the pain away. You must not kill yrself tho. The drink don't help. It's a depressant and will only make all seem worse. Please take care x

[montyzoomer]

Dearest Teddy,I am so very sorry for the pain and grief that you are feeling right now. There are many cliches people turn to at times like this, but I know they will provide little comfort to you at this moment in time. You say that you have previously looked after your Liver. What better legacy could you give to your beloved partner than to take take special care of the one thing that took him away from you. There is no right or wrong way to grieve, however, looking after yourself is a priority right now. Please love yourself as your partner loved you!

Sending love and hugs,

Deb xxx

[BritishLiverTrust1 Partner British Liver Trust]

Dear Teddyxxx

We're so sad to read this, and very sorry for your loss.

We would echo the comments made about contacting Cruse, who can be reached via this link: cruse.org.uk/

You may also find it useful to talk things over with one of our nurses on the helpline, which is open Monday to Friday from 10am to 3pm on 0800 652 7330 (excluding bank holidays)

With best wishes from all at the British Liver Trust

[Teddyxxx in reply to BritishLiverTrust1]

Thank you for your kind message. I will contact your brilliant nurses. I think my body is failing. I've nourished my liver for almost 6 months. I've never had varices or bleeding. I'm very thin now and the ascites doesn't seem to have returned. But my muscle wastage is significant and the weakness is too much as I try to arrange my lovely partner's celebration of his life. I ache everywhere, especially my arms and feet. I now think I have HE as I am very confused. I tried to contact the bereavement company and the samaritans but I struggled to find just a normal phone number that didn't ask me to make decisions...and I'm not even up to that.

[BritishLiverTrust1 Partner British Liver Trust in reply to Teddyxxx]

Such an incredibly difficult time - please do give them a call today if you can.

[Readlots]

Organising a celebration of life is so hard, but in hindsight it really helps with the grief. Brain fog and struggling to make decisions are part of grief too. I think it’s like a protective mechanism. It may not be HE, but talk to your doctors.

Is there anyone who can help with the arrangements? Maybe a colleague of your partner who isn’t so emotionally attached but is kind and organised? Or a neighbour?