I'm having a difficult time, my mum has been in hospital for 10 days, went in due to complications with cirrhosis (it's now decompensated) and she seems to be getting progressively worse. Her kidneys are struggling and she's so weak and confused.
I spoke to a consultant on Friday who said although there was a small chance she'll get a bit better (all the meds they are giving her) I should be aware her condition is serious, and the chance is small. He told me he'd had to discuss with mum whether to resuscitate or not, and whether to go to Intensive care if needed (she said no to both).
They have allowed me to visit the past two days even with covid rules but there's been no Dr's available and the nurses (though absolutely lovely) just tell me there's no change. Call again tomorrow, we might know more then. And same the next day.
I've been doing OK but today I'm so so exhausted by the not knowing and the waiting. I swing from hope to despair and back again. She has no other family in the UK, by brother lives in Germany, so I'm on my own with this (very supportive husband, I should say, who let's me cry on him all the time!) Seeing her so so ill is heartbreaking.
I've to call tomorrow early afternoon to find out if she's still deteriorating, or just maybe rallying a bit, and the wait to call is so difficult. I just want to know one way or another what to expect so I can prepare.
I know there are no magic answers but any support or advice very welcome.
Thanks
Written by
worriedgirl
To view profiles and participate in discussions please or .
Sorry to hear about your mum's deterioration. Sadly I don't think anyone here can confirm which way this is going to go - as medics have said it's going to be a fine balance as to whether she goes one way or the other. Some people do rally whilst others very sadly don't especially when other organs start to fail alongside the liver and it is going to be a waiting game.
The BLT has a page all about planning for the future which includes dealing with the 'end' and it might be helpful to you. britishlivertrust.org.uk/in...
Look after yourself in all this, thoughts with you.
Hello there, I am in similar boat. Dad lives in USA and I live in Canada with my family. He was in hospital for 2 weeks with infection in ascites due to alcoholic cirrhosis, then he was transferred to a rehab/nursing facility - when I call they say some things are getting better but he gets new symptoms every few days. He was not able to urinate but he is now, so there are ups and downs. But now he is vomiting blood, nosebleed and bloody feces. This is a new symptom and I wonder if that means its getting worse or what. He tells me the nurses say that lvier is getting stable, but I don't know if they are just making him feel better or it is something lost in translation (he does not speak English fluent). He is in his second week at this rehab place..he calls me and text me everyday and tels me all about his symptoms and like you I am a bit wrecked. I was my moms caregiver at 25 when she had cancer and she died 2 months after diagnosis so I can imagine what you are going though. Even though I am far this has made me an emotional wreck, hard to concentrate on other things when you got a parent who is dying (maybe not). god help them!
I'm so sorry that you are going through this too, and that you have lost your dear mum. My mum has had rectal bleeding for a couple of weeks, one of the reasons she went to hospital in the first place. They have given her a blood transfusion yesterday as she's losing a lot.'stable' is a word I hear from the nurses often, I think it's said to comfort us!
It's so hard not knowing and waiting. I too find it hard to concentrate, I'm all over the place at work.
Thank you for replying to me, I am so sorry you are going through a similar thing, and I really hope your Dad does pull through or at least you get answers and peace soon. We must just wait I guess!
Hello,
I am very sorry to hear that your mother is so unwell. Not knowing how things are going to go is so hard - mentally and physically exhausting. Katie has suggested one of our publications. Perhaps you might also find it helpful to talk to one of our liver specialist nurses - we have a free telephone helpline, open Mon-Fri 10:00 - 15:00 0800 652 7330
Thank you very much for replying. I shall try to call the helpline, its just a struggle as falls in the working day. I have a much needed day off on Thursday so will try to call then.
So sorry to hear that your mum is unwell. I have too been in this position a couple of times with my own mum and can empathize how stressful and exhausting it can be.
It’s easier said than done, but try to take one day at a time. Try not to overthink things, as much as I become fixated on knowing what the outcome is going to be when my mum is in hospital, I have to remind myself that I have no influence/control over it and what will be will be.
Remember, your mum is being well looked after in hospital so you need to concentrate on looking after yourself during this time, whether that means keeping busy or taking a couple of days off work to rest depends on what suits you. It sounds like you have good support from your husband too.
Sending you lots of love and very best wishes for your mums recovery x
Thank you for your wise words. I spoke to the Dr again today and no change. She has pneumonia now too, but they are treating that. I will keep hope, and as you said remember to look after myself too. X
Content on HealthUnlocked does not replace the relationship between you and doctors or other healthcare professionals nor the advice you receive from them.
Never delay seeking advice or dialling emergency services because of something that you have read on HealthUnlocked.
End stage liver disease and kidneys failing 
Hepatitis B and alcohol 
alcohol hepatitis Kpa 16.9 
Mum has chronic alcohol liver disease and has weeks/days to live
Cirrhosis & acute kidney disease do they go hand in hand?
