Help? Advice?

[needful1]

I haven't been on here for months, so hello to all...

Yesterday my friend called the police to break down her brother's front door after 4 days of him not responding to anyone's calls and texts. I was with her when the police went in and found him barely conscious, slumped in an upstairs bedroom, where it was thought he might've been for three days. They kept him alive until a paramedic arrived, then an ambulance. We could hear him refusing to go to hospital (and crying out with pain). Eventually they used their power and got him into the ambulance.

We have been here three times previously... He is now in intensive care, but refusing treatment (and furious with us that the police were called and that we've ruined not just his front door, but his life).

He was informed 5 years ago that he must stop drinking, but has continued, as was clear from various empties we saw in the house yesterday.

He has previously discharged himself from hospital each time without telling anyone (although he has no shoes with him currently and is so frail that he is unable to walk anyway).

He sees hospital as prison. Lack of freedom.

The NHS are again, valiantly keeping him alive. I don't know if he'll pull through one more time.

He has pretty much demonstrated that life is too painful for him to endure for various reasons, so what do we do if, and when, he comes home again?

Do we leave hime to die, or intervene?

I simply don't know what is best, right, wrong or how to be. What to say when I visit him in hospital? Say I love him? Then what? What should or shouldn't I say as a friend of the past 20 years?

Thanks to all.

[Hidden]

Hi

This must be so hard for you all. Maybe the hospital could advise you as to what to do next. I really don't know what to suggest but to say you are in all in my thoughts and prayers. Love and hugs Lynne xxxx

[Bootandall]

I think l would just continue to support my friend whose brother it is, and take my cues from her. Maybe if everyone could pitch in to repair his door, it would at least reassure him that his home is secure? Tell him how much he means to your friend if you are not that close. If you are close, or ever were, talk about the good times and how much fun you had. Surely you must have felt some way or the other when you went with her to find him, and you know he may not have much time. It's awful watching someone do this, but there is a point of no return, and you're not going to regret saying a kind word.

[davianne]

Hi, all you can do is support your friend, and be there for her when the inevitable happens.

Sad to say, but if he won't stop drinking, he will not be eligible for a transplant, and if he doesn't accept help, then the prognosis is dire. Sorry to be blunt, but this situation is his to put right, not yours, or your friends, unfortunately.

David