75 days sober 😀

[Kev12564]

Recap: Drunk 70+ units week in week out for a decade. “Stopped” drinking in an effort to become a moderate drinker. As expected, soon up to 40 units a week, which is still deadly. Resigned myself to the fact I was alcohol dependent, would be for life and had to quit altogether. As an aside, a routine medical showed the expected mild fatty liver. Saw my GP (helpful), was prescribed Campral, a harmless drug which reduces that alcohol craving, which I took for a few weeks before stopping.

No booze for 75 days now. By luck or good genes, I’m healthy. One or two drinks wouldn’t affect me physically. What that one or two would do, though, is reawaken that part of my brain which has spent the last 75 days asking where the hell’s the alcohol. I’d be back to spending long evenings fidgeting and thinking about booze. For an alcohol dependent, trying to moderate drinking is a miserable existence and doomed to failure. For me, alcohol’s now a mental thing. I’m rightfully scared of returning to drinking and reawakening that overwhelming urge.

Do I feel better? About 1000 times better. We’re talking daily 10Km runs, that sort of better.

Do I want to drink? Physically, sometimes. Mentally, I hope not.

Was it easy to quit? Surprisingly so, yes.

Couldn’t I have just cut down and become a moderate drinker? Totally impossible. I’d crossed a line of no return someone in that decade of heavy drinking which made me alcohol dependent, and by dependent I mean 40 units a week minimum. No one can drink that much and hope to stay healthy. I’m not special. I can’t beat this alcohol dependence thing and don’t believe anyone can. Google the research. I’m not alone in this belief.

There’s no shame in being an alcoholic or alcohol dependent. Alcohol tastes fantastic, makes you feel great and much more attractive 😀 It’s also legal, cheap and freely available. It’s no wonder we get addicted to it. So when it starts to control you, as it did me and still does in a lesser way, your GP will be more than sympathetic and not at all judgemental.

I may well slip up and drink again. I’ll be disgusted with myself for doing so. However, I will quit again and go back to my GP if need be. What I’ll never do as long as I live is lie to myself again that I can be a moderate drinker. For someone who’s ever been alcohol dependent, that option no longer exists.

[Hidden]

Well said coco 👍

I think quite a few of us were ditto. I was and more than 70 units and more than, much more than, 10 years.

You are doing so well. Keep it going, as you say you feel so much better than you were which is great 😁👍.

10k runs - wowee. I can’t run full stop but I can walk about 1k (at times lol) and that feels good to me, oh yes 😁.

Good luck in the future and keep us posted please..

Miles

[Kev12564 in reply to Hidden]

Keep up the 1K walks, PiloMilo. They’re doing you good.

By the way, I ran (and was still quite fit) as a heavy drinker, but the acid reflux caused by a gutful of beer the night before was shocking. One time I went to A&E thinking it was a heart attack. That all stopped within days of quitting booze.

[Danubian in reply to Hidden]

Pilo I just come back from the "Internist" I told her about my 22 day "drinking" session of 2 cans of 0.5 l 5% beer per day - yeah was still worried despite Ayrshire and you and Phoenix. She told me that it would not have harmed my liver. Sometimes these units and what is good and what is the threshold etc. is very confusing. Anyway still got my nausea and am starting Cognitive Behaviour Therapy for the anxiety disorder.

[Hidden in reply to Danubian]

Well then so some good news for you 👍. Sorry to hear about anxiety stuff, can’t comment there - I am always anxious but I knw there’s anxious and seriously anxious 👎🏻 So good luck with the therapy 👍

Milo Pilo Twosmiles Miles

[Kev12564 in reply to Danubian]

Just to go off on a tangent, Danubian ... in the U.K., the current recommends limit is 14 units of alcohol a week for men and women. It was 28 and 21 respectively. A 440ml can of 5% beer is about 2 units.

The advice is also to have two days off a week and also not drink all 14 in one session.

How does that compare to the advice in Germany?

[Danubian in reply to Kev12564]

The same.

[Kev12564 in reply to Danubian]

Thanks.

And 22 days of 1 litre of 5% beer per day isn’t particularly harmful, as long as it stops. I drank twice that for years and you can see the result - luckily I’m OK physically but I became dependent.

[Danubian in reply to Kev12564]

That is what the gastrodoctor said. Indeed the drinking has stopped since Easter Weekend, but she said with a man my size that amount is OK without mentioning stopping. She is the one who did my ultrasound. MRT with contrast was done in HH (Hansestadt Hamburg - that is why the car number plates are HH) My number plate is HL, there is also HB Bremen, HRO Rostock and a few others - all deep water ports far in land. The Swedes take a car ferry to Lübeck and load up on cheap poison. I see them in the supermarket with crates of whisky! Anyway I digress. Maybe it is normal for men in my town! And I read an article by a gastrodoctor in the sixties - and the daily limit was four times what it is today. That's what got me confused - should I drink again which I will not - I'm staying on the safe side. Funny that my health anxiety which is causing me debilitating nausea only concerns the liver - I have no fear of cancer or other diseases (well HIV a little) I drank much over many years, although the last 20 years less. This nausea - although terrible - is a good thing because it made me aware of the dangers of alcohol. I suppose I am lucky- the reason that I distrust my doctors and the Ultrasound and MRT (Magnetresonanztomographie) with Kontrastmittel and the liver tests is because of my drinking history. I suppose my liver is resilient. But I'm not gonna push my luck anymore. No more booze or sex for me - too dangerous.

[Danubian in reply to Kev12564]

23 grams per day and the one or two days off

[Danubian in reply to Danubian]

that is what they tell us here for men. Dunno about women!

[Kev12564 in reply to Danubian]

One litre of 5% beer is 5.2 U.K. units. I’ll get in trouble here, but we have to accept that other people will drink. A litre a day for 7 days is 36.4 units (high, my old level), but if someone drunk a litre on day one, half on day two and three, a litre on day four and then a three-day break, that’s “only” 15.6 units, just slightly over the recommended U.K. limit. If I could stick to that amount, I wouldn’t have even seen this forum.

[Danubian in reply to Kev12564]

well main thing is the 5.2 units for 23 days did no permanent damage to a previously healthy liver - I needed to know that for my anxiety disorder - I'm on 0 units a week now

[Hidden in reply to Danubian]

Just to give u some perspective I was a 100 unit a week drinker for more than 10 years and quit cold turkey just because I knew I needed to change my ways I had no health related symptoms to speak of. I only became aware of possible liver issues afterwards when I went to my doctor for a check up and recived a questionable ultrasound. So my point is your level of drinking while not a good idea for long term was not overly excessive by some standards. Quit drinking and be well

Truly

Boone

[Danubian in reply to Hidden]

Thanks Boone84 I know I'm labouring the point about this amount (and I could understand Ayreshire being angry with me - but if you had the nausea for 3 months with difficulty sleeping with anxiety disorder you can understand. Again the doc did't do an ultrasound today because she did one end of March and told me that this amount over this time would not do any damage. I do not know what it would take to convince me!

[Hidden in reply to Danubian]

I'm no doctor but nothing would change with you're ultrasound in a months time I have no doubt you have something going on but it seems like the old saying that you can't see the forest for the tress your focused on your liver but may need to look elsewhere. Just to add I deal with anxiety probably why I drank so much and in the last 20 months of not drinking I have actually felt worse recovery is not easy but that is a topic for a different forum

Truly

Boone

[Hidden in reply to Hidden]

Agreed.

We share such a similar burden Boone. As you know my anxiety was the reason I drank as well. Which like you has gotten worse since I quit. Makes it all even harder to deal with. But as you said its a topic for a different forum.

[bintcliffe]

What a great post spot on! Wish you well in your sobriety 💖

Hayley

[whodunnit_author]

Well done, best of luck for the future, and thank you for a positive post. I too was a long term very heavy drinker until I was admitted to hospital 4 weeks ago. They filled me with drugs both intravenous and oral - I can't remember the name of the one for reducing cravings, but it worked brilliantly. So to anyone reading this, don't put things off due to fear of horrible withdrawal symptoms. It's possible you might not get any at all. It's early days for me, and who knows what I might feel next, and the long term implications of damage done is a worry...

But the first days were only painful because in hospital you keep getting woken up through the night; needing a drink was not a problem, and I'm still managing OK so far...

[Hidden in reply to whodunnit_author]

GJ dunnit 👍.

[Megbird]

Best of lucky. You have a good GP. The tablets Campral are they available on NHS.

[Kev12564 in reply to Megbird]

Yes, but my GP wasn’t able to prescribe Campral directly. I had to go through an alcohol support group to get Campral. It’s not a miracle drug, and I still had the urge to drink albeit reduced whilst taking it. There may have been a placebo effect in that I’d gone to the effort of getting Campral and paying the £8.80 prescription charge so it made even less sense to drink. I had two months’ supply but stopped after five to six weeks as I was more than mentally prepared to quit. I could’ve have requested more Campral if necessary and I believe people take it for up to a year.

[Megbird in reply to Kev12564]

Thank you.

[Megbird in reply to Kev12564]

Hi Coconutwater I guess is not been given to those who are not prepared to quit. My other half who died three and a half years ago was not offerred anything of that nature. He saw consultants who argued him to stop drinking but no medication was offerred at all. I can see that as well in your case your GP did not offer this to you in the first place. It looks like it is one of those drugs that GPs could offer but they are "happy" to see drinkers going through this horrible journey and some do not survive it. In our society Alcohol is everywhere you turn expensive ones and cheap ones. I am so Happy for you for turning the corner. And may the path ahead of you be as clear as possible.mx

[Kev12564 in reply to Megbird]

Megbird, I’m so sorry for your loss. It’s too late for your other half sadly, but the likes of you and I can maybe help others. I didn’t think to ask my GP why she couldn’t just write a prescription herself. Speculating, it could be down to finances or the fact that such medication must be prescribed along with counselling (which I had to go to in order to tick a box and get my Campral). I had researched drugs such as Campral and Antabuse before seeing my GP, and I more or less told her I drank too much and needed one of these types of meds to help. Regarding Campral, it’s not a miracle cure, and I’m sure there was an element of placebo effect in that I’d sorted the meds and paid £8.80 prescription charge so it made even less sense to drink. The NHS isn’t great at prevention sadly. The big lesson I’ve got from all this is that an alcohol dependent - not even a stereotypical alcoholic - can never be a moderate/occasional drinker again. It has to stop 100% or a return to heavy drinking will almost always be the case. It sucks to know I’ll never have a glass of red again, but quitting alcohol is so much easier if you really do quit and not pretend to yourself you can moderate the drinking. All the best to you

[Megbird in reply to Kev12564]

Hello CocoNutWater Thank you. Yeah my Other half had no chance. I was so unprepared for his passing and it hit me for quite hard. It will be his birthday tomorrow. He would have been 61 years if he was still with us. But hey gone not forgotten. Alcohol taxes keep the taxman happy. As you said you'll have to show that you are willing to accept help before they can offer a drug to help. Have a good evening.xx

[Kev12564 in reply to Megbird]

All alcoholic dependents deserve help, so regardless if they’ve cut down, quit a few times or still drinking non stop, they should seek help from their GP. Getting that drug was relatively straightforward. It might not have saved your other half as Campral isn’t a miracle cure. The point is people shouldn’t feel uncomfortable or embarrassed to see their GP. I’d hate someone to read this thread and think they’re “too far gone” or drinking too heavily to seek help.

[Megbird in reply to Kev12564]

I am sure your article on here will help a lot of people. I would like to see that other members on here don't feel that they have gone too far. There is always a help out there. If someone feel that they are stuck in this vicious circle please don't feel that way. Seek for help. Talk to someone, talk to a friend who understand. Visit community centres or neighbourhood centres, someone should be able to help. All GP should signpost those who are struggling with addiction.

[Hidden]

Dear Coco

Firstly may I say thank you for sharing your story with everyone on this forum!

I'm not a drinker myself but many years ago I was married to a lovely man who was, unfortunately he's no longer with us! I Just wanted to say I'm proud of your achievements and I wish you every success in keeping your fight up!

Take care Coco and please keep us updated!

Regards Trish x

[Supportinghubby]

Well done, that's fab. I so wish my husband had had the chance that you have had. He drank regularly in the evenings (no more units than you), not giving his liver a break, & went straight to stage 4 liver disease (well obviously he didn't but didn't notice symptoms until he got to that stage). Doing a lot better now but the doc said if he started drinking again he would be dead in two years. Please remember that if you're tempted to drink again. Hubby would do anything (& I would too!) to go back & reverse the damage but it can't be done. You're one of the lucky ones to have escaped the damage - life without booze & a healthy liver is much better than no booze plus all the restrictions, worry & uncertainty of cirrhosis. I have a feeling from your positive post that you won't go back to drinking anyway 😊

[Kev12564 in reply to Supportinghubby]

Thanks, and all the best to you and your husband 🙂

[Barnetaccounts]

Hi Coconut,

Reading your post has put a smile on my face. Congratulations. You described me some 16 years ago, stopped, felt so much better, haven’t drank since. Alcohol Dependancy definitely manifests itself between the ears. People do not have a clue about how determined you have to be to consume the vast amounts of alcohol we do, regardless of the consequences. I knew I couldn’t do it on my own, so I went to AA. It gets a bad rub sometimes on here, cult, etc. Each to their own but I haven’t drank since, I haven’t been brainwashed, nor found myself a religious convert. I have found true friends, who have the same disease as me, but are there whenever the sh** hits the fan.

Well done on your first 75 days of what will hopefully be many thousands in good time.

Take care

Ray

[Kev12564 in reply to Barnetaccounts]

Hi Ray, that’s good to hear. I’ve not tried AA, but if it helped you and others, i don’t see how anyone can criticise them. I had to see a councillor to tick a box and get my Campral. She was worse than useless and totally in the wrong job, but a good councillor would be a big help to some people.

In fact, I’m considering volunteering to help an alcohol support group as I’m certainly “qualified” and feel I could do something positive. Their requirement for the likes of me is to be two years off the booze. I think I’ll make that without too much trouble 😀

[Kev12564]

And thanks to you, Trish. You must have felt powerless, but it’s people like you who really motivate the likes of me to stop. My wife doesn’t drink at all, and on 40+ units a week I’d have left her alone way too soon.

[Beture47]

My Son gets help from AA on line.

It gives him strenght to keep going

He has been clean dry sober and nicotine free for 4 months

The American sites he says are the best speakers to.listen too

They are also very funny,but in the right way

E

[Onlylonely]

Well done Coco. I wish I could give it up. I am now up to 4-5 bottles of wine each week and was told last year I Had fatty liver. I can't admit to my doctor yet that I am dependent.

[Kev12564 in reply to Onlylonely]

Sounds a cliche, but at least you know you have a problem. Good start. I was a wine fan too and can understand how 4 to 5 bottles a week goes down nicely. Your GP won’t bat an eyelid when you tell them that amount. You’ll be fine. Make the appointment.

[Hidden in reply to Onlylonely]

Lonely

Please take note of what coco said in his reply to you. NO medical person has ever said anything derogatory to me about my drinking (ex drinking). Please don’t put off telling the doctor because you are in fact only putting off the inevitable 👎🏻.

Do it! then it will maybe you feel so good 👍👍👍👍👍, truly. It’s a weight off your shoulders - well I think so 😁

Good luck

Miles

[Dogbot]

Well done CocoNutWater 75 days is a long time and fantastic news for you and your family and friends, do you know a lot of doctors tell alcoholics to cut down don’t just stop two of my friends have been told that unbelievable 🙈. But well done and keep it up it’s hard but worth it.

Dogbot 👍

[Kev12564 in reply to Dogbot]

My grandfather (born in the 19th century!) was a GP and had a saying: “You never see a fat old person”. I’d say you’ll never see an old alcoholic. To be fair, a GP telling someone to stop probably wouldn’t work as most alcoholics, me included, really believe (wrongly) they have the strength to cut down. My GP didn’t say stop, but she was very supportive, and making that appointment was how I finally stopped drinking.

[Dogbot in reply to Kev12564]

I’m so pleased to hear that you have a great GP I truly believe that most GP do a great job with the pressure they are under, once again great job good luck I wish you all the best.

Dogbot

[Kev12564 in reply to Dogbot]

I think I’d eat my hat if anyone had a negative response from a GP when being brave and proactive enough to ask about improving any health issue. I probably made my GP’s day doing so. I bet they’ve seen it all, so a patient saying they drink 100+ units a week won’t phase a GP. They will help, though.

[jazzjam in reply to Kev12564]

Well done in your progress and how well you are doing but sorry in my case you need to eat your hat “three times” consultant abroad and GP and consultant in the UK. Thankfully something somewhere had clicked in my head and I went to another doctor and gastro who have been superb, if they are judgemental they are good at hiding it 😁.

[Kev12564 in reply to jazzjam]

Well, I’ll have to buy a chocolate hat, I’m very disappointed (in your experience, not the hat). Would you mind expanding on it a bit as I’m appalled GPs aren’t helping people.

But I’m very pleased to read you’re doing well and would willingly eat lots of hats to read similar posts

[alfredthegreat]

Well done! Stories like this give help and encouragement to so many people starting out on this road. May your resolve get stronger with each passing day. When drink is considered the be all and end all of a good time it's very hard for people giving up to think they will ever enjoy a 'good' time again. So It's great when someone posts and says how great life can be without alcohol and how much better they are feeling for having done it. Hats off to you. Great stuff. Alf

[Hidden]

Hi CocoNutWater,

Good for you and best wishes for the future.

Mary

[jazzjam]

Good for you, you sound like you are nailing it and enjoying you new found energy. Fantastic on the running too, I managed a 5k for the breast cancer and raised some money and I enjoyed it.

It’s lovely to hear updates and so much positivity. All the best to you

[Kev12564 in reply to jazzjam]

Well done on the 5K too! But why not stick it at?

Next month, I’m going to a triathlon “taster day”. I expect to get laughed at*? but the point is I’m going along and wouldn’t have dreamed of doing so as an overweight heavy drinker**

* My running doesn’t get laughs, it’s my swimming 😒

** any overweight heavy drinkers reading - I went from sedentary BMI 32 (70 units alcohol a week) to BMI 26 in less than 6 months. Giving up the booze is like being reincarnated

[Kev12564 in reply to jazzjam]

And by the way, it’s 100 days this Thursday. The occasional alco free beer has helped, and if people object to that, tough.

[alfredthegreat in reply to Kev12564]

Well done Coco. That's fantastic. The alco free has got to be a better alternative to alcohol. Keep it up my friend. You are helping to show others that, Yes, there is life after alcohol. Very best wishes to you. Alf

[Kev12564 in reply to alfredthegreat]

Thanks Alf, there are people out there who are dead against alco free. To be polite, each to their own.

[alfredthegreat in reply to Kev12564]

My specialist says that it has it's place in society and he is happy for me to drink it and I respect his opinion. Keep up the good work!

[Kev12564 in reply to alfredthegreat]

I’ll drink to that! 😇

[Smegmer]

Well done on stopping. 40units a week isn't likely to be deadly for most. My Dad is 80yo and has done that for 60 years.