It really is, isn't it? And then so hard to get up and get back on that addiction recovery wagon. I've had two binges in the last three weeks. First was after I came of the meds (antibiotics); when I stayed sober for 11 days. Then I hit it hard: a bottle of Scotch a day. Three days into the "Great Thirst", the old liver started aching and said better stop now, Corrie. Four days later I started feeling human again, and then remembered the almost full bottle under the sink.
Back to a bottle a day, and four days later - yesterday - the liver started screaming at me. Also my spleen, I think, and probably the pancreas and kidneys and every other organ getting damaged by alcohol. Bad sweats during the night, and a nightmare that will make a good horror movie. Today I'm back on day 1. Liver aches, woozy feeling, nausea, you name it. What surprises me, though, is how few people speak about the pain, the sheer physical pain. Is the very real pain something that just hits a few of us alcoholics?? This time it is over for good, no more. I worry about maybe having cirrhosis, although I have none of the other symptoms, just the pain; it's been three and a half years on and off the bottle again: after not touching alcohol for a whole 12 years. Now I ask you, is that stupid or what? I am a 53 old male, and would really appreciate any advice/views from anyone in this forum... Especially positive.
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hello, I'm new so not sure how much help I can be... Do you have any recognisable triggers that return you to drinking? And conversely I suppose - do you have support when you're not drinking? But I hope you're able to stick to your guns this time around
How are you doing? That merry go round of drinking to oblivion, feeling terrible, promising never again. It's insane isn't it! Thankfully today I don't drink out of choice! I have Alcoholics anonymous to be so grateful for. It's the only thing that worked for me. So please get yourself to a meeting and keep going to meetings. I put AA in place of drinking and I am 20 years sober a day at a time. If I can get sober, you can. It really works!
From what you have written its clear to me that your request for advice is really seeking confirmation of what you already know.
I wont give you any advice but simply tell you what is possibly waiting for you if you don't act on your own understanding of the predicament in which you find yourself.
I was diagnosed with alcohol related liver disease in late 2014. I never considered myself as an alcoholic, like a lot of people, I just thought I drank a reasonable amount. Also, on diagnosis I stopped without any difficulty at all, it has to be said I became too unwell to even drink if I wanted to.
I only went to see my GP because my tummy was getting very bloated - no other obvious symptoms. No abdominal pain, no yellow skin or eyes and no feeling particularly unwell. The bloating was an accumulation of fluid due to a diseased liver (ascites)
You cannot rely on you not having any symptoms as a guide to how well your liver is coping. Liver disease is notoriously 'silent' before it reaches the point of real and serious damage.
In March 2015 I had a complete collapse with spontaneous bacterial peritonitis with resulting sepsis. This is where the ascites becomes infected and can be fatal, with me it very nearly was.
In the whole of 2015 I had a total of 80 nights hospitalised with various liver related problems, mostly hepatic encephalopathy. The average stay was around 10 days. Early 2016 I was referred to the Royal Free transplant unit for assessment. After the process of convincing the team that I no longer used alcohol, nor would drink for the rest of my life, I was placed on the waiting list. An amazingly quick two weeks later on the 10th March I received my new liver. From diagnosis to major surgery in just 14 months was pretty dramatic and a few didn't think I was going to survive the illness. Thanks to the kindness of a stranger, I am still alive, fitter and healthier than ever.
I bet some of this rings a bell for you.
I was 61 when I first became ill, so you have an advantage of being a bit younger, I hope that you have kept yourself fairly fit during your 12 years without alcohol because that will help with what might lie ahead for you.
You may well have been fortunate and sought help and advice in time to save your liver, believe me, there are people in this forum who have a good outcome by taking the right course and making positive life changes.
I hope that you will now take the appropriate action.
Keep in touch with this group and make full use of the British Liver Trust website, where you will get all the information you will need to take proper care of yourself.
Hi, Jim. Staying in touch is not a problem; what is a problem, is where I live. I'm in South Africa, where private health care is extremely expensive, and treatment at state/government hospitals are bad/notorious in the extreme. To the point where families of patients have to take them fresh bedding and sometimes food. A lot of patients die because of non-treatment, or even no treatment. It's scary to even consider going there, but I have no health plan/medical aid. So what do I do? bite the bullet, and pray and hope that I will recover with time. And I meant what I said: this time it's over for good. I am so sick of feeling sick...
Hey Jim, thank you for sharing your story. I've had a range of symptoms including bloating. Not diagnosed with anything just yet and awaiting a second appointment after normal labs but symptoms persist.
If I could ask, was your bloating permanent? Mine seems to go down in the mornings and come back as the day progresses. Is this what ascites was like for you?
hi gringo, in my case i was so bloated that i couldn't breath properly --they drained 19litres of fluid--that was a releif i can tell you!--then for more than a year i had to be drained every 2 weeks or so--i also had 2 infections --serious and had to stay in hosp for about 10 days--
It's so hard to stop drinking as I was drink dependent litre brandy or vodka or whisky well I never blamed my drinking for me illness and when it got so bad being sick all day still drunk in between also threw the night . Then I had to stop as I was getting so I'll they took me in hospital and then no support this is the only thing that keeps me going also the mental and physical pain coming off the bad panic attacks ect, I stopped over two yrs ago me liver had no pain until latley no way did I no how much I done to me liver but go to doctors get checked out please as I thought by stopping I carry on with life but never new how much yrs later after stopping me liver is early cirrhosis. I noticed the under the sink that bought back me hiding drink under sink and empty bottles worrying how to get rid of them sorry if I ain't been much help .you ain't alone on here there are so many good people ready to help . I hope me spelling ect ain't to bad
South Africa have plenty of AA meetings they saved my life. A day at a time still here 30+ years later. But oh I could admit my illeness which it it is but could not accept so I bounced around for 17 more years before finally conceding Alchohol controlled me. If your still breathing you have hope, perhaps only a little but meet AAs and you will find it all the Best John
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