Very Stressed

[Stressed_wife]

Hi,i am a very stressed wife...my husband is 40 years...he has been drinking since he was 18 every day.He has now developed several complications like swelling,sleeplessness,fatigue.He refused to visit the doctor as he is in a denial that he is fine.I really dont know what do i do that can help....

[Hidden]

hi there

how much was he drinking? a couple of pints should be ok for most.

The symptoms could be your fears, if the Liver is in trouble though alcohol, its usually 2 things:

Alcoholic Hepatitis, this can reverse if he stops drinking

Cirrhosis, this is permanent and usually progressive, but some do live a long time if they stop drinking.

Unfortunately by the time the Liver shows symptoms its usually in serious trouble, he needs a doctor asap.

[AyrshireK]

Hello Stressed Wife, my thoughts go out to you - this thing is hard enough to cope with and manage when your loved one is actually getting help and treatment (and didn't bring it upon themselves). It must be heartbreaking to see a partner going through it but failing to acknowledge his health difficulties and problems.

I am assuming your husband is still drinking, it also sounds like he is displaying some pretty serious signs of a damaged liver. Without help with both his alcohol issues and medical help for his liver he is going to go down a very slippery slope - which you are very aware of no doubt.

I guess he needs to acknowledge both the drink as a problem and see the health issues for what they are but how you can help him do that without causing major rifts I am not sure of. Some folks on here have posted about being in a similar predicament and ended up going the tough love route, however, when a loved one is involved I guess that would be really difficult when all you want to do is help them.

There are support groups for families of alcoholics as well as for the drinker themselves. Al-anon is one such group and they have a website plus local groups and their counsellors might be better placed to empower you to help your husband. Their website is at al-anonuk.org.uk/ . The NHS also advises on such issues and they have links to other support networks nhs.uk/Livewell/alcohol/Pag... . Perhaps a word with your own GP might be advisable, I can tell from experience that caring and supporting someone with cirrhosis is hard going and stressful on you too so doctor might advise on where to go from here.

Sadly though at the end of the day you can neither force him to stop drinking or to go to doctors and it is his decision.

Do seek out help though from the medics or the support groups I mentioned as they might be able to get the message through to hubby.

All the best,

Katie xx

[MrsT84 in reply to AyrshireK]

Hi, have you persuaded him to go yet? I think my husband put off going as he was scared to be honest, best of luck to you. xXx