My Father's Story

Hi all, I'm 22 years old and my father was diagnosed with lung cancer just over a year ago, just before his 60th birthday. He had an operation at the beginning of March 2012 and originally was due to have 20% of his right lung removed. By the end of the operation we discovered he had had to have 80% of it removed. Since then he has been so much worse than before. His ribs have not healed, he is in constant pain, he struggles to breathe more each day and his body almost seems to have collapsed on its right side. When you look at him his shoulders are to the right but his lower is in its normal state. I'm the youngest of four children but the others don't seem that bothered. I've been his carer since the beginning of his troubles and its a lot of responsibility but he is my father and I love him too much to give up on him. It was horrible to see him in such a state after the op but its got worse. We have recently found out he has a high chance of having the cancer on his left lung (he already has COPD) There is a large shadow and this is how it began before. I don't know how to handle this as its harder and harder each day not to break in front of him. I'm sorry for writing so much, but I haven't had anyone to talk to about this and I needed to get it out. Thank you for reading. Any advice is hugely welcomed and appreciated.

16 Replies

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  • Hi So Sorry To Hear About You Farther ... You Should Call Email BLF Helpline As Am Sure That Can Point You In Right Direction For The Help You Both Need

    No One Should Suffer Like That ...... Totally Feel For You Both Give GP Out Of Ours A Call Get Them Round To Give Him Pain Relief

    Hope That Helps All The Best

  • Hallo Laura,welcome to the site.Your dad is lucky to have such a caring daughter.You sound a lovely lass,good on you, for being so supportive.

    It must be so hard to watch him struggle like that,if you can try and put a bit more responsibility on the other members,you must need a break at times to recharge your batteries most important to look after yourself too.

    Dazs comment, about getting in touch with the BLF,is a great one, you both need all the support you can get.Never be to proud to ask for help!!

    Come onto the site, anytime you feel like venting,we are always here for you,

    Big hugs to you,Love Wendells xxx

  • My heart goes out to you Laura loving and caring for your dad as you do is wonderful. H

    As Wendells says, would you be brave and give the helpline a call? They have very good people , nurses and counsellors I understand. :-)

    You come on here as much as you need to and we'll support you, it's what we do best - will you let me know how you get on after you've called?

    PS we had the Macmillan Nurses involved with my ex husband, they were wonderful. Also at the Charring Cross hospital they have a Maggie's Centre where my kids used to go for support, they were marvellous too. Perhaps your dad's hospital has something similar? People don't necessarily tell you what's on offer, we have to ask. You deserve some help Laura and I hope you get some xxxxx

    Take care of yourself too won't you. Thinking of you. P

  • Laura

    Sorry to hear your news. When you see your father is so ill it is difficult what ever your age. As the others have suggested get in touch with the BLF so you can talk to someone. You can come on this site whenever you need support or virtual hugs

    Big hugs.

    Judith

  • Laura, you are a wonderful daughter. Sending you loving thoughts!

  • Laura keep visiting here you will find lots of good advice, support and love. Watch for kingof the coctails cos he will also make you smile or even laugh out loud.( don'r read him if you are drinking tea, your pc will suffer !) Hugs and warm wishes.xx

  • Thinking of you Laura, the phone number is 030000030555 for BLF. All the best Annie80

  • Hi Laura, your dad is so lucky to have someone like you. Please do ring the BLF, and the McMillan nurses would be a very good source of support. The BLF will be able to advise you on what is available and how to access it. Good luck to you both. xx

  • Hello Laura When I read your post my heart went out to you. I really wanted to offer you some help and advice but I don't have qualifications to do so. I can only echo auntymary and suggest you call the BLF. Perhaps something can be arranged to give you a short break from the stress and strain. I will be thinking of you. Love from Bobby xxx

  • your caring is an inspiration,your father will know you are doing your best for him,pity others are not the same as you, it would be a better world. bless you, Brian aged 77. father of four.

  • Oh bless you good advice from everyone give the helpline a call, and you can always come on and talk to us.

    Your not alone.

    Kim xxxx

  • Hi Laura27. I hope your siblings do not regret not helping more. I know it's hard for you but at least you know you are doing your best and will have no regrets. Best of luck.

  • Thank you all, for taking the time to read this and for the support. I will call the helpline as I have needed someone to talk to about this from the beginning. It took me a while to find such support. I will let you all know how I get on. Thank you again x

  • Hi Laura

    You are a truly wonderful caring daughter - your Dad must be so proud of you. Glad you are going to 'phone BLF - they will I am sure be able to let you know what help and support is out there, along with emotional support.

    Please let us know how you get on and if you need to talk Laura we are all here for you.

    Love to you both.

    cx

  • Laura, your dad is a lucky man to have you. However, you need some support too because what you're going through is so difficult - a Macmillan Nurse must have been assigned to your dad - and she can help you too - they're there to support your dad, but you too, so please call her and explain what you're going through. They are a mine of information, and mine was so good I felt like I was talking to a friend. PLEASE get help from BLF, as suggested above, but also from your dad's Macmillan nurse - you need and deserve all the help you can get during this difficult time.

    I wish you both all the very best and come onto this site any time you need to talk - it's such a great help just to know there are caring people who want to help in any way they can.

    Lots of love

    Pauline

  • Dear Laura

    Many years ago (late 70's) I travelled all over Asia, India particularly in the days before Lonely Planet and Guide Books, mobile phones were not invented and newspapers were unavailable. I saw poverty and hardship beyond my imagination and I have always lived my life in London with that thought, that I/we are very lucky compared to others.

    HOWEVER - your story about your father reminded me all over again how lucky I am, I

    Have COPD but not as serious as most and am so very sorry that your father is very unwell,

    I do not know how to advise you except to hope that you remain as strong as you have been so far. The advice given above is far better than I can offer. Stay Strong. I wish you all the best In this life. Adrian xx

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