Hee HEE you will love this one.how it all began!

To all computer buffs

How it all began.

In ancient Israel,it came to pass that a tader by the name of Abraham Com did take onto himself a young wife by the name of Dorothy.And Dot Com was a comely woman,broad of shoulder and long of leg.....Indeed she was often called Amazon Dot Com.

And she said unto Abraham,her husband,''Why dost thou travel so far from town to town with any goods when thou canst trade without ever leaving thy tent?''.And Abraham did look at her as though she were several saddle bags short of a camel load,but simply said,''How ,dear?''

And Dot replied,''I will place drums in all the towns and drums in between to send messages saying what you have for sale,and they will reply telling you who hath the best price.The sale can be made on the drums and delivery made by Uriah's Pony Stable (UPS)

Abraham thought long and decided he would let Dot have her way with the drums.And the drums rang out and were an immediate success.Abraham sold all the goods he had at the top price,without ever having tomove from his tent.

To prevent neighbouring countries from over hearing what the drums were saying,Dot devised a system that only she and the drummers knew.It was known as Must Send Drum Over Sound (MSDOS),and she also developed a language to transmit ideas and pictures-Hebrew To The People (HTTP)

And the young men did take to Dot Com's trading as doth the greedy horsefly take to camel dung.They were called Nomadic Ecclesiatical Rich Dominican Sybarities,or NERDS

And lo,the land was so feverish with joy at the new riches and the deafening sound of drums that no one noticed that the real riches were going to that enterprising drum dealer,Brother William of Gates,who bought off every drum maker in the land.Indeed he did insist on drums to be made that would work only with Brother Gates' drumheads and drumsticks.

And Dot did say, '' Oh Abraham,what have we started is being taken over by others,''And Abraham looked out over the Bay of Ezekiel,or eBay as it came to be known.

He said ''We need a name that reflects what we are.''

And Dot replied,''Young Ambitious Hebrew Owner Operatorrs.''

''YAHOO,''said Abraham.

And because it was Dot's idea they named it YAHOO Dot Com.

Abraham's cousin,Joshua,being the young Gregarious Energetic Educared Kid(GEEK) that he was,soon started using Dot's drums to locate things around the countryside.

It soon became known as God's Own Official Guide to Locating Everything (GOOGLE)




You don't need drumsticks and drumheads to beat your way to your local Breathe Easy Group

Just phone te BLF Helpline 03000 030 555 for joining details

25 Replies

  • Brilliant, |King. How can I pass these jokes on unless I gave you my email address by PM

  • I don't know Annie.Maybe Gordon can help us with on this one.


  • Use cut and paste - put your mouse at the start of the text you want to steal, I mean pass on, and click the left mouse button. Hold it down and drag your mouse to the end of the text you are copying. When you are happy that you have covered it fully you can let go of the mouse button but be careful you don't click anything yet. Now move the mouse over the highlighted text and right click - the text should remain highlighted and a little drop down menu will appear, offering 'Copy' as an option. Click copy.

    Now, go into your email program and start a new message. Put the mouse into the empty message, right click, pick Paste

    Hey Presto - the text is now in your email, ready to send to your friends. :)

    Don't worry if you don't get it right first time, keep trying to highlight the text - you can always stop and start again y'know.

    It works in a similar way on a laptop with the mouse pad, but I've no idea how to do it on a tablet of fancy phone.

    Warning - it will work easily enough on here, but some times you will pick something up and it pastes a load of gubbins too. That's the text formatting you get in normal web pages. The way to get round that is to open Notepad and paste into that, then highlight it there and copy again. The formatting should be 'lost' that way :)

    There's a long way round too - right click on a page and choose 'select all' from the menu, right click again, choose copy - now go to Notepad and paste it - you get everything on the page and need to pick out the bits you want.

    For the clever ones who like to shortcut, the command to copy is CTRL+C and to paste is CTRL+V, CTRL+A is 'select all' ;)

  • I should have made out that was courtesy of Apple:- Another Person Performing Lessons of Evil :D

  • Thanks, Gordon. Much appreciated. I was telling Brian (husband) about you and all the great people in this forum. He has CA prostrate but no breathing probs. I was at Saffron Walden H|osp. today for a chest X ray. They found a consolidation in one lobe (this means they didn't know) and wanted to check it. Apart from being breathless and needing my aids, I get on with life.

  • From one [ctrl+v} Gregarious Energetic Educared Kid - [well, used to be!!!] to another - well explained, sir.

    Had me in stitches too!

  • King of the bloggers has come up trumps again. Clever and funny. Ha Ha. I have a drum kit in the garage, do you think I should annoy the neighbours? for a bit of fun.

  • Send them a message!!!!!!!!!!

  • Did Dot make a book of faces so she knew who the drummers were ?

    I'll get my coat. :)

  • Drummin it up eh Puff.Perhaps she put them on facebook!!!!!!!!!

  • i have been winding up my grandson saying he should get a book called God's Own Official Guide etc., etc. He fell for it.

  • That's great Annie.

  • Brilliant KOTC !!! laughing so much I'm SOB ! hope you have a BED tommorow!! XXX :) :D

  • I am noyt sure how to take BED!

  • Breathing Easy Day

  • Oh silly me!

  • really funny.

  • Loads of laughs

  • Good laugh from all of you!! xx

  • I could hear the laughs all over Nottingham and beyond

  • Wonderful.


  • Thank you Judith,my sister was a Judith not a Judy!

  • brilliant ... circulated to family. These are too good not to share :)

  • Share,share,share the more the merrier who's fancy we can tickle.

  • wonderful, my husband and i had a good laugh, keep them coming


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