What pets write in their diaries..........Absolutely Brilliant and so correct

..........Excerpts from a Dogs Diary

8.30am- Dog food! My favorite thing!

9.30am- A car ride! My favorite thing!

9.40am- A walk in the park!. My favorite thing!

10.30am- Got rubbed and petted! My favorite thing!

12.00pm- Lunch! My favorite thing!

1.00pm- Played in the yard! My favorite thing!

3.00pm- Wagged my tail! My favorite thing!

5.00pm- Milk Bones! My favorite thing!

7.00pm- Got to play ball! My favorite thing!

8.00pm- Wow!Watched TV with the people! My favorite thing!

11.00pm- Sleeping on the bed ! My favorite thing!

Excerpts from a Cats Daily Diary

Day 983 of my captivity.

My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects.They dine lavishly on fresh meat,while the other inmates and I are fed hash or some sort of dry nuggets.

Although I make my contempt for the rations perfectly clear.I must nevertheless must eat something in order to keep up my strength.

The only thing that keeps me going is my dream of escape.In an attempt to disgust them,I once again sick on the carpet.

Today I killed a mouse and dropped it's body at their feet. I had hoped this would strike fear into their hearts,since it clearly demonstrates what I am capable of.However they merely made condescending comments about what a 'good little hunter' I am.Well Really!

There was some sort of assembly of their accomplices tonight.I was placed in solitary confinement for the duration of the event.However I could hear the noises and smell the food.I overheard that my confinement was due to the power of 'allergies'.I must learn what this means and how use it to my advantage.

I am convinced that the other prisoners here are flunkies and snitches.The dog receives special privileges.He is regularly released-and seems more than willing to return.He is obviously retarded.

The bird has got to be an informant.I observe him communicating with the guards regularly.I am certain that he reports my every move.My captors have arranged protective custody for him in an elevated cell,so he is safe.For now ................................

Richard Cornish

BREATHE EASY= FRIENDSHIP

Put Breathe Easy in your daily diary.

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16 Replies

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  • This is so good and made me laugh, mainly because there are so many cat and dog owners in this forum. Earlier on a doggy owner made a comment about all the cat talk - you have levelled it out to please everybody. Cant remember, are you doing the quiz. Chased Gordon who is busy. A pity!!

  • What quiz Annie?

    Richard

  • Great stuff Richard. Pray I come back and have dog's life!

  • I'm treated like a dog Lavender .Life of luxury!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  • Brilliant, I have a cat and a dog and you could be describing them

  • I have only got a dog now,but I know what you mean!

  • Fantastic blog and so true

    Lynne with no avatar xx

  • Good on you

  • Love it, made me smile. I showed it to my teenagers and they've both used it on Facebook :-)

  • Facebook!.fantastic

  • I have missed your humour but I have been too poorly to log on but I'm glad I did today. This made me smile.

  • Hi exblonde.I hope it cheered you up a little.I'ts surprising what a smile can do.

    Richard

  • oh, that had me laughing - with 2 domestic and 3 so-called 'wild' cats .... their dialogue must be amazing with peer dynamics/ pecking order changing all the time ! thanks

  • Hi juiekk. Is'nt it nice to have a good laugh.

  • i have two Daxies,one who in is in the royal veternary hospital after having major surgery onhis back ,he is coming home next friday to join his brother.

    we also always had cats and they got on very well together.

    Richard i enjoyed what you wrote.

    jan

  • I know he will be in good hands when he comes home.I expect his brother will make a right fuss of him as well.

    Richard

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