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To all Healthunlockders Cold at home????

KingoftheCocktails profile image

My wife and I(husband)) bought a lovely old bungalow in Nottingham from to elderly sisters.

Winter was fast approaching and as you know the first snows came last week and I became worried about the lack of home insulation.We cannot afford to buy any form of heating.,because after buying the property we became as poor as church mice. I thought of contacting the council to see what they could do for us but this years budget had already gone,so no luck there.

I said confidently to my wife''If they could live here all those years,so can we''

The other day the temperatures plunged below zero and we woke up to find the interior walls covered with frost.As you all know this is no good to someone with COPD.I was upset to say the least.The wife, in her usual calm manner became very irratable and intolerable. To keep the peace, I said that I would contact the elderly sisters.

I called them on their mobile to ask how they had kept warm in the winter.After a brief chat i hung up

The wife said WELL WELL? in a loud annoying voice.

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''For the past 30 years'' I muttered'' they've gone to the Bahamas in the winter.

Richard Cornish

BREATHE EASY = FRIENDSHIP

Don't go to the Bahamas,you will miss your local Breathe Easy group

Join up. Details BLF

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KingoftheCocktails profile image
KingoftheCocktails
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22 Replies
dall05 profile image
dall05

That sounds just like the house that I was brought up In, I used to think that this may have contributed to my lungs giving out suddenly at the age of 51. This probably has no standing as the old man who lived there before our family, lived to his late eighties and chain smoked woodbines. Mind you he did die of lung cancer!! 'Nice one' yet again King.

KingoftheCocktails profile image
KingoftheCocktails in reply to dall05

THank you dall05

Lynne1955 profile image
Lynne1955

Richard! What can I say? Every day my husband asks whether there are any more good jokes.

Yes, I say.

Lynne xx

KingoftheCocktails profile image
KingoftheCocktails in reply to Lynne1955

We have got to keep him happy Lynn.Just for him:-

This is a classic, a true story,proving how fascinating is the mind of a six year old.

A teacher was reading the story of The Three Little Pigs to her class.She came to the part of the story where the first little pig was trying to gather the building materials for his home.She read ''..........and so the little pig went up to the man with a bundle of straw and said ''Parden me sir but can I please have some straw to build my house?''

The teacher then paused then asked the class ''and what do you think the man said?''

One little boy raised his hand and said very matter of factly ''I think the man would have said ''Well b****r me !A talking pig!''The teacher was unable to teach for the next ten minutes.

tanyamarie profile image
tanyamarie

luv it!

KingoftheCocktails profile image
KingoftheCocktails in reply to tanyamarie

Thank you.Luv you for luving it.

Bastet profile image
Bastet

Richard, I was standing in a queue in Tesco the other day, there was a man standing in front of me and I thought I knew him, so smiled. He seemed quite pleased with this and eventually said "Do I know you?" "Yes," I said. "You are the father of one of my lads. Don't you recognise me?" His face went bright red and he started muttering about how he had never been unfaithful to his wife, he only had one child, there's no way he could've fathered another... I was begining to feel uncomfortable when a look of, what I thought was realisation, finally dawned on him.

He said, "Oh my God, was it you, I met on my stag night? We got drunk, undressed, poured champiagn over each other, smothered each other with squirty cream then had pasionate sex on the pool table before being arrested by the police?"

"No." I replied, calmly. "I'm your son's teacher!"

KingoftheCocktails profile image
KingoftheCocktails in reply to Bastet

That is good tuition

A warm feeling inside reading the merry tales and japes they are always well received and a wonderful advert for the atmosphere that prevails in Breathe Easy's throughout the land.

KingoftheCocktails profile image
KingoftheCocktails in reply to

Breathe Easy groups are full of adventures that we can cope with.

Enjoyed them all,a good start to the day!! xx

KingoftheCocktails profile image
KingoftheCocktails in reply to

Start your day the laughter way

Knitternan profile image
Knitternan

Well done to all the joke tellers, they were brilliant, good way to start the day, with a smile :)

Bastet profile image
Bastet in reply to Knitternan

Who's telling jokes???

KingoftheCocktails profile image
KingoftheCocktails in reply to Bastet

You cannot be serious???????????

KingoftheCocktails profile image
KingoftheCocktails in reply to Knitternan

When you're smiling !!!!!

libbygood profile image
libbygood

I love all the jokes, a change from poorly lungs. Keep them coming.

lib x

KingoftheCocktails profile image
KingoftheCocktails in reply to libbygood

I will keep them coming lib,can't see you without a smile on your face.

I was almost believing you there, you bring tears to my eyes (of laughter)

KingoftheCocktails profile image
KingoftheCocktails in reply to

You didn't think i would tell a lie,would you?

Don't forget I'm a gullable blonde.

KingoftheCocktails profile image
KingoftheCocktails in reply to

I honestly don't think so

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