British Lung Foundation
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help at home ?

My wives mother lives with us she needs looking after because near 87 with alzhimer and I have moderate copd (emphysema) so can help less than I used to. We are both retired with time to do what is needed now most of the time but worried about how we can keep doing this when I have more infections or get worse. What help can we get befor my wife becomes ill with non stop work to keep her mother at home with us not in a home she can only visit.

3 Replies

What about home care? Carer's to help you and your wife with looking after her mother, they can help with personal care e.g helping her to get ready etc it is something to think about/look at. Val


Good advice from valm and babyjane, also for a bit of respite through the week, you may be able get your wife's mother a place in a day centre, 2 to 3 days a week, so you still have some time for yourselves. I'm sure you will be able to access this through your GP, also Community Matron, OT assistance, social services. Your local library may have some information also.

Day centres can be good for social enjoyment, crafts, entertainment. Its worth having a chat to someone about this and maybe going to see what your local day centre is like before you decide.

Also consider phoning Age UK or Alzheimers Society about what help may be available to you. Just let them know the situation, same as you have mentioned here.

The Age UK and Alzheimers Web sites may be worth a visit to find out some more information. Links below:

Hope you can get some real help soon.


This may already be in place, but hope that all three of you are getting the relevant benefits to help you pay for help if needed: mother - attendance allowance; you - attendance allowance; wife - carers allowance twice - once for you and once for mother, although to be honest do not know if they give double helpings.


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