Heart broken : Well today we have been... - British Lung Foun...

British Lung Foundation
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Heart broken


Well today we have been told that there is nothing more they can do for my dear mum , they will keep her comfortable and pain free for as long as it takes , I’m falling apart I can barely breath at the moment so not been to the hospital since Monday , I nearly called for help on Monday as even with my ambulatory oxygen on I lost my breath just as I got to the main entrance was a struggle to get to the ward and a struggle to get back to my car after so decided it would be better to make sure I am fully recovered before I go again only to get this news today , now all I want to do is go sit and hold her hand 24/7 ., can’t bare it I’m completely devastated love this lady so so much ❤️❤️

43 Replies

I'm so sorry to hear this. Thinking of you and your mum 💐

I'm so very sorry Cales. Extremely devastating news. It sounds like you need support yourself too. I hope you have family and friends who can rally and help you through this awful time. Sending love. xx 🥀

So sorry to hear this cales. I am thinking of you. xx

This is very sad news for you. You must look after yourself too. Speak to one of your local charities like Age uk . Or the hospital league of friends they may be able to help you. Take care we are thinking of you


I'm so sorry to hear about your mum, no wonder you are devastated. Please make sure you have support during this stressful time and remember we are here for you. Send love, thoughts and prayers to both you and your dear mam. 🌹🌹Xxx

Hope you recover enough to spend more time with your mum. May help to use the hospital trolley service to get you transported to the ward and back to the exit. Thinking of you and your mum.

So Sorry Hun, My Thoughts & Prayers are with you Both. xxx

They have told me that many times but for some reason I am still here. I almost wish I would have gone at times. It seems so difficult just getting up. I remember someone saying to me that it is harder for those we leave behind. My husband and I just take it a day at a time, we keep each other going. Don’t be to sad it sounds like you love her just continue and spend what time you have.

So sorry to hear Cales.

I am so sorry to hear this very sad news. Sending love and thoughts to you and your mum. Xx

Such sad news Cales, I hope she will pass peacefully and painlessly, and that you are able to accept the inevitable. Look after yourself, and just hold on to the memories of your mum..

Sending love to you at this sad time. The waiting vigil for a loved one is a hard on mind, body and soul. Be as kind to yourself as you are to your darling mum. You have your own health issues, and need support too. The more support you can rally, the more you can support your mum as she eases from this life to another. Reaching out to us is good, but the hospital may have a companions support system in place or at least give you details of where to find the nearest group.

So sorry for your news all you can do is be brave for your mum sending you hugs x

Hi Cales,

I have been where you are and I'm so sorry for you and your lovely mum.

Yes, do go and just hold her hand. I did that with my mum and she was so happy and I was so comforted by this. It's worth the struggle, although your extra breathlessness could be emotion and panic.

Do take care

Sorry to hear of your sad news, If spending time with your mum right now is important to you ask the team for help for you to do it if you feel able. They have rooms for you to stay in many hospitals & hospices and people to support the patient and closest relatives, in some cases they can arrange food for you too. My heart goes out to you we are here if you need to talk , take care x

Understand how you feel . It is heartbreaking.

Love, thoughts and prayers, i hope you find comfort and strength.

I totally understand.... was in your position too! It’s so strange as when friends were asking how I felt whilst I was nursing her in her last ( turned out 10 days.... she just wouldn’t let go) I described it too as “ I can’t breathe”.... go be with your lovely Mum 24/7.... love her to the end. She will know you’re there... you will find little communications you can use between you even if she can’t talk or move at the end. Touch, smell, voice, love she will feel it all. You are the only one that really knows her and she will appreciate all you do for her. No regrets! ♥️

So sorry to hear your sad news. Cales. Hope you have family and friends for support. And you are with your Dear Mom giving her your love and support. I am sure some way you will find the courage and strength to be with your Mom. We are here for support if you need it. Hugs and thoughts Brian

So sorry to hear your news, thinking of you x

Thinking of you. Xx

Sending love and support to you Cales at this very difficult time.

Thinking of you. Xxx

Hard as it is Leslie you must try to keep that smile for your mum as now is the time she will need and appreciate it most. Just do whatever any loving daughter does at these times but do it with the support of your family.

Skis and Scruffs xx

Poor you...no one to take you in wheelchair? Go hold her hand....

So sorry about your mum cales

Just lost my mom know how youre feeling. You have to do Box Breathinga and stay calm.

I so understand ❤I'm in the same position with my daughter and my breathing is definitely affected by anxiety and sadness.What is happening is beyond our control? We have to take care of ourselves to be there for them?Easier said than done! Sending you hugs💕xx

Such dreadful news for you. Is there anyone who can help you to get to and from the hospital to see her? If not, it would be wise to get taxis, rather than driving yourself. My heart goes out to you. Hope you have family/friends to help you get through this terrible time. Big hugs x

So sorry to hear this. So stressful a time for you. Take care of yourself, all good wishes.

I’m sure you will find the strength to go and see your mum. Watching love ones slowly fade is never easy but love will always find a way. Try not to stress yourself as this will only make you worse off. I’m sure your mum realises the stress that you are under. Best wishes to you and your family.

Hi Cales, so sorry about your mum. My prayers and thoughts are with you both. Take care of yourself, Maximonkey


I hope that you find the strength and support you need to help you through this very difficult time.

So sorry to hear this cales and hopefully you will be well enough to be with your mum but please don’t feel guilty if you can’t your mum will understand. I hope you have some support of family or friends to help you through this. Be kind to yourself .

So sad to hear this cales. Such a difficult time for you sweetheart. Know we are all here for you and will be virtually holding your hand through this.

With love to you and to your dear Mum.


I am so sorry to hear about your mum. I am sure mum is finding much comfort in you being by her side.

I pray for you both.

Take Care and Big Hugs. 💜

Thinking of you and sending warm wishes 🐞

I'm so sorry to hear this..🙏💖

My heart goes out to you. I've been there with my mom, it was tough. I sat and prayed with her. I said I love you and had to leave . Mom went home and hospice care helped her for her final days. 2 days later my sister called and said ... mom died today. I was lucky I guess as I had her for 56 years and now God has her I'm sure. I took her ashes back to Hawaii where she was born and lived before meeting my dad. It was sweet and still I hurt. She was a great mom, I love her and miss her. Along with my dad and my youngest daughter. I feel alone sometimes but the Lord is with me to give me peace and understanding.

Wishing you peace and love,

Gods blessings to you and your family.

in reply to Durcot

Thank you for this lovely piece that you wrote to heart broken,I too have been down this path. It was the hardest thing I have ever done. I needed to be reminded that Our Lord is close by to give me strength. God is love and hope

in reply to Lizzie34


So sorry for you. It's such a tough time watching your Mum in her final illness. I lost my Mum in 1994 when I was 39, and though it was a relief to see her go after her devastating strokes, it was still so gut-wrenchingly hard. ((((Hugs)))).

Really feel for you in this situation. If it’s any consolation I hear from many nurses that when someone is ready to go, it’s easier if their nearest and dearest aren’t nearby hoping they will keep on going. When you are poorly yourself you must trust your loved ones to know that too - they won’t want you to feel guilty for them. Please don’t feel bad and affect your own health . Your mum will know you love her and won’t want you to feel so guilty you can’t be with her. She will want you to do what’s best for you, and she will go knowing you love her .

For Thinkhealthy

I agree with you but some like my close friend stayed with his dad, held on to him. I went to say to his dad, I could see his time was nearing as his fingertips were blue. It was a sight I saw that has stuck with me for 20 years. I wish I was with my dad when he passed, I was working and couldn't get away in time. I think my dad was waiting for me but I was over 2 thousand miles away. Before I could make plans he passed. I feel sometimes I cheated my dad. He was my hero, couldn't have a better dad. I should stop here as my thoughts bring back the pain

Gods Blessings to all

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