Visiting Grandad. (another joke)

[Johnem]

Jack hadn't seen his grandad for years so made the effort and visited the 90-year-old who lived out in the country with just basic facilities. On the first morning of the visit, grandad prepared a breakfast of bacon and eggs and Jack noticed a film-like substance on his plate so he asked, "Grandad, are these plates clean?" His granddad replied, "They're as clean as my cold water can get them. Just go ahead and finish your meal."

For lunch, Grandad did sausage and mash. Again, Jack was concerned about the plates, as his appeared to have specks of dried egg on the rim. "Are you sure these plates are clean?" he asked. Without looking up, Grandad said, "I told you before, they're as clean as my cold water can get them!"

Later, as Jack was leaving, his grandad's dog started to growl and wouldn't let him pass.

Jack said, "Grandad, your dog won't let me get by!" Grandad shouted to the dog, "Cold Water, go and lie down!"

[jackdup]

That reminds me of a story my grandad used to tell me. He lived in a small town and every Sunday after church a couple would invite themselves to the Pastor’s house for dinner. The Pastor finally got tired of it so after they ate he put all the plates on the floor and let the dog lick them off and then picked them up and put them in the cupboard. Needless to say they never invited themselves over after that.

[joyce74]

That’s a good one, made me 😊

[Ergendl]

Or the story about the chap who visited an old relative. He talked for a while and absentmindedly ate all the nuts in the bowl beside them on the bedside table. When he realised, he apologised. The old relative didn't bat an eye, just popped another chocolate peanut in his mouth, sucked all the chocolate off, and popped the nut in the empty bowl.

[HungryHufflepuff in reply to Ergendl]

🤢

🤣

[MoyB in reply to Ergendl]

I' ve got cousins who actually do that with chocolate Brazils. She likes the chocolate and he likes the nuts so she gets the box first and then he finishes it off! xx Moy

[Aingeful]

😂😂😂😂 Love it !!

[Peppy05]

That's really funny

[67anxiousgoat]

A football coach in Oklahoma (USA) said he was only dressing half of the team for the upcoming game. The rest of the team had to dress themselves.

[Jason098765]

Excellent