British Lung Foundation
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I am new but I am worried about my brother

My brother has been diagnosed now for few years now with COPD he has been approved for heart/lung transplant he is 50yrs old.

I realise this is the best that can be done but there is still a long road ahead.

My concern is that mentally this is and has to be taking its toll on him, he has been told that his teeth have to be match fit so after visit to dentist he has to have all his teeth removed he is terrified of the dentist and of course this has to be done at hospital due to his breathing difficulties. It seems a small thing in comparison but it's more for him to get anxious about, I know my brother holds back details from our father as he doesn't want him to worry, but I'm sure he holds back details from me and worries that he has. I feel nobody is able to help him with his fears and reality of the situation as so many things can go wrong, all we seem to do is be blindly positive, this time next year your life going to be so different...is it though.. I worry what he's thinking when jollying along with this so we don't worry.. it's like avoiding all negative possibilities..perhaps this is the right way to be? I don't know but he must need more emotionally he lives alone, he used to be an purser for BA and travelled the world many times so his house bound situation and now the teeth is awful for him. I was hoping maybe on this forum I could find him a friend that he could talk to about his thoughts and fears, as I know he can't do with us.. someone in same or similar situation.. he's not eating well or looking after himself in a depressed way... can anybody help me to help him...

10 Replies
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Welcome to this brilliant forum and it’s great to know your brother has someone like you to care about him.

Please see if he will join us as there are many amazing and caring people he can reach out to. There are many friends on HU.

You’re brother is probably scared of what the future may hold but he can talk that through on here and then he may feel he can open up more to family and friends.

Hugs to you and good luck. Xxxxx

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Thanks for your message, yes I am going to try and get him to join I just have to find a way ..... thanks, oh Happy New Year xx

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Hi there are a couple of people on here who have had a lung transplant and a few others who are considering it. A couple are on the list and are waiting for the call.

Point out to your brother that it would be invaluable to chat to others in a similar situation and this might help him decide whether to go for it or not. x

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Thanks, I don't think there is a choice for him so it's so sensitive to speak to him.. but contact with people who are going through the same even all the tests... it's so difficult as family as nothing makes him happy anymore..... thankyou and Happy New Year..

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Happy new year Nibblet. Xxx

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I have had to go to the dental hospital to have some of my broken teeth removed.....the staff were amazing, they had all my previous hospital notes about my lung problems to hand, and they had a list of all my medications. On my first root canal operation they used a oximeter on my finger, to check my SATS

There were two nurses and the dentist.....shame that they view out of the window that I faced was the local graveyard though.

Explain your brothers fears before hand and hopefully they will give you advice .

Best wishes

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Thanks.... I will pass this on to him, but hopefully get him involved on here, Happy New Year to you...

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Hello and welcome to our surportive family unit. Firstly may I say what a lovely caring family you are. Try talking to him about us and he will get all the right advice and the feeling of people that care, I know I have and I've only been here a few weeks. Look forward to chatting with him. ✋️😊

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Stumpy thankyou for your reply, it makes me more determined that this is a good idea for him, but I'm worried now that he will read what I've written as that would be easy for him to identify himself and be upset...can't do right for doing wrong...in the meantime thankyou.. and happy new year ...

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Your welcome, I hope he dose respond to us because we are all in need of support one way or another, I know I am, and being on this forum has helped me no end. I would really like to chat with him. I wish you all a very happy New Year and God Bless ✋️😊

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