Daughters in the dark

Hi all

I hope its ok to post on here my sister and I feel so helpless our dad has lots of different lung problems, emphysema, alveolitis amongst many other problems. He has deteriorated so much over the last couple of months, can no longer do his shopping housework garden etc and he is finding it very hard to cope. The hospital or Gp seemed to have given up on him. He is becoming more angry and depressed and quite nasty to us at times, no one can help us to understand what might happen and it is breaking our hearts sitting by and watching him waste away and we both work full time but spend as much time with as we can, just wondering if there is anyone else going through the same thing, and maybe give any advice.

7 Replies

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  • Hello mazzald. Welcome to the family. Does your father have a pulmonary consultant ? If not, tell your doctor you want him to have one. A PR will do proper tests and maybe able to prescribe medicines suited to his conditions. Mine improved my wellbeing immensely.

    I have very severe emphysema and it can be very frustrating at times. We are angry with ourselves but tend to let it out on our nearest and dearest but we have to try and tell them when and why we are frustrated rather than lashing out.

    Feel free to ask anything and hopefully you'll get an answer.

  • Hi,

    I'm currently in the same situation with my dad. He has COPD written all over his files and all medical have given up on him. Mum and I even wonder if he has COPD as the test doesn't seem very advanced. He has bad depression and we find his oxygen levels get worse, the more depressed he is. The respiratory nurses are the most ignorant people I have ever met. They have him chained like a dog on oxygen and to be honest he is deteriorating rapidly due to being chained to this. The medical people offer no support to my mum, in fact they are very rude to her. Dad also has heart problems but cardiology won't deal with him because of COPD. It seems if you have COPD, you are finished.

    I would be interested in hearing other people's experiences of respiratory. I plan to sue the NHS once dad leaves this earth as they have made our whole family's life hell over the past number of years.

  • How different hospitals can be. My respiratory nurses always have time and advice for me when I call them. They are caring and I can't praise them enough.

  • You are blessed to have caring people around you. Come to Northern Ireland and you will see a difference. If your file says 'COPD' in NI, it's immediately closed and basically it's a waiting game for you to die. A respiratory nurse basically admitted not so long ago that if dad died, it would free up a space for someone else waiting to see the consultant. They have no tact and no respect from anyone else living in the house where they like to push all noisy equipment onto the patient.

  • Hi Mazzald, you are very welcome on this site, and in the right place for support and advice. Sorry to hear of your fathers failing health but hope you will find lots of others on site who can help who are in similar circumstances. Will be thinking of you every best wish.

  • Welcome mazzald and I truly hope your dear dad gets the right help very soon. COPD is not and should not be given up on as there is help out there. You have come to the right place for support and advice so glad you are here. Dad's depression will not be helping him either so that also needs treating. Do let us know how things go and wishing you all the best. xx

  • Wellcome to the site Mazzaald

    You've come to the right place for sure.

    The people on here are inspiring and can teach you alot. Is your dad on oxygen? What is he still able to do?

    What medications is he on? The more we know the better, to give your advice.

    Ask any questions that will help you out.

    RUBYXX😊

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