British Lung Foundation
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Well its March

It was almost a none sleep night just could not get off, brain as thinking of all sorts just would not shut down, and when I did get off, I was dreaming I was awake, I am sure some of you have had those nights. Anyway the important thing is I woke up so thats always a bonus fellow smilers

Some employees bought a present for their boss for his birthday and it was a box gentle wrapped in brown paper. Before opening he shook it slightly and noticed a wet patch in the corner, so he touched the wet and licked his finger and said "Its some wine isn't it"

The staff said "No"

So the boss did it again and sucked his finger and said "Its a bottle of scotch"

Again the staff said "No"

This went on for a while and in the end the boss gave up and said "Alright I give up what is it "

And the workers all replied "Its a puppy"

A lady friend of mine you has light coloured hair (not a blonde) ordered a pizza and the man said did she want it cut into six or twelve pieces.

Six pieces please she said as I will never eat 12 pieces.

Weather here is dark and dry at the moment with strong winds still, right time for me to prepare the veg etc as its Sunday the day the girls come up for their roast. Keep smiling now as remember ever month is a smile month. xxx Fred ;) :)

17 Replies

Hello Fred, lovely cheery jokes again this morning. Cold and gloomy here. I'm off to lunch at the Sister-in-laws today. :-) Enjoy your visit with the girls. :-) xxx


Have a lovely time at lunch and enjoy the chat which I am sure there will be lots of. Not to much giggling now. xxx ;) Fred

1 like

Well Fred I learned a long time ago to just pick up my book and if i fall back to sleep that's good,and if I don't !then that's good as well, if i didn't have a book I would be tossing and turning all night getting more angry with myself as the hrs go on . This way and at my age I can have a snooze through the day without feeling guilty, its terribly windy here in west Yorkshire this morning lets hope we get a wee bit of sun to cheer us all up, xx


Morning our softwabbit agree with the book thing but as you say I also get uptight when I can't stay or get to sleep. I just do not like to snooze during the day unless I am feeling poorly, and whats this about at your age, come on now your in your prime lady. Just to add the wind has dropped here in my bit of seaside Devon and the sun is out, should be with you by tonight lol. Enjoy the day xxx Fred ;)


Morning Fred

That certainly was a night to forget! I too couldn't sleep. I still have a fever from my poorly tummy. I was freezing. For the life of me I couldn't get warm. How on earth do you warm your nose up when it's like an ice cube on your face? Now I feel lousy. A cup of tea and more antbs that's what I will start with and see if it helps.

Laughed so much at the puppy one keep them coming



Good Morning Fred, the sun has got it on today, ( yawn sorry I couldn't sleep till two though I felt like going to bed at 9 last night ) silly me I started looking through my photo's on the computers, I'm looking for a good one of our dog that died just before Christmas so I can paint a picture of thing I know its way past one and then the bed was freezing! I loved the jokes, great way to start the day! :D Lucky girls having Sunday dinner with you! have a lovely day! hugs huff xxx


Huff it seems that a few of us had trouble sleeping last night, strange that really. Good you like painting, Margaret enjoys painting with water colours and when she concentrates they turn out really lovely. Enjoy your day huff and pleased the sun is there for you. xxx ;)


Ha Ha just copied it to my Family Group and they love it. Thanks Fred. Sorry you still haven't managed much sleep. How did you stay so cheerful, must be your lovely character. I slept from 11.30pm to 7.30pm a miracle after 10 days hardly any sleep. Enjoy your lunch and time with your girls xx


Hi Suzy not always happy inside but I am not letting the cancer grind me down and with Margaret, Kate, Debbie and Hannah to keep me in check its a case of you will be happy and who am I to not agree lol. ;) Pleased you got some sleep at long last thats good xxx :)


Morning Fred, bad night here as well the wind (outside) was terrible I was dreaming as well about people who I have not seen or thought about for many years, every time I went back to sleep the same dream started again. Perhaps it was the fish and chips I had for tea.

Still very windy, sun shining but feels cold, staying in today.

Jokes brilliant as usual smiles all round :-) :-) :-)

polly xx


We had the same here wind wise and it seems you are another like us that had a bad night it must be something in the water. lol :) I doubt if it was the fish but maybe the chips, what no mushy pea's :) .Have a good say polly. xxx ;)


Morning neighbour sorry to hear about your disturbed night. It will be nice to see the girls though won't it so they will cheer you up. Love the jokes as usual. It's quite bright here and no sign of rain yet! But it is very windy and looks cold. x


Still smiling here Fred. Nice, sunny day but not been out yet. Thanks for the jokes again especially the friend with the light coloured hair (definitely not blond!) Have a better night tonight and hope March is a happy month for all. xxxx


Thanks for the cheery post but sorry you had a bad night...I'm joining the club.

It's a breezy , sunny day in the North Midlands. And it's St David's Day too....greetings to all Welsh exiles like me and to those still in Wales.

"Dydd Gwyl Dewi Sant Hapus".....I hope that's right as I had to check the Welsh has been judged to be at " toddler" level even though I had lessons in school. I can remember my grandmother saying to us children....go out, come in, stop it and sleep in Welsh and that's nearly all I can remember.


Its now 1400hrs and the sun has gone home and the wind has come out to play but who cares, we have other things to worry about or do we, now that's a worry in its self, so the answer must be not to worry. Good thats that worry out the way, ramble over or is it. Sorry knitter they will be here to lock me up soon. Keep smiling xx :) Fred


hi fred thats us into monday now, [missed the site over sat and sunday,, my weekend off :D like you had the same sort of night, but had naps during the day, so no worries, your posts always cheer me :) i couldn't help but smile "light coloured hair=not blond :D clever fred, theres no way were getting ourselves into trouble :D [notice i said "were" ha ha :D ] ,, as per usual fred always a smile, hope you have a good free from pain week, :)

all the very best my friend,, jimmy :)


Cheers jimmy its just that I read a while ago some people do not like you to say jokes where certain types are mentioned so its easier to adapt them to suit, no as you said we are staying in clear areas so we can see them coming. Stay save pal and hope all stays good for you. Your pal Fred :) ;)


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