British Lung Foundation
35,395 members42,761 posts

A few to think on for the weekend.

Only in drugstores make the sick walk all the way to the back of the store to get their prescriptions while healthy people can buy cigarettes at the front.

Only in people order double cheeseburgers, large fries, and a diet coke.

Only in banks leave both doors open and then chain the pens to the counters.

Only in we leave cars worth thousands of dollars in the driveway and put our useless junk in the garage.

Only in we buy hot dogs in packages of ten and buns in packages of eight.

Only in we use the word 'politics' to describe the process so well: 'Poli' in Latin meaning 'many' and 'tics' meaning 'bloodsucking creatures'.

Only in they have drive-up ATM machines with Braille lettering.


Why the sun lightens our hair,

but darkens our skin ?

Why women can't put on mascara with their mouth closed?

Why don't you ever see the headline 'Psychic Wins Lottery'?

Why is 'abbreviated' such a long word?

Why is it that doctors call what they do 'practice'?

Why is lemon juice made with artificial flavor, and dishwashing liquid made with real lemons?

Why is the man who invests all your money called a broker?

Why is the time of day with the slowest traffic called rush hour?

Why isn't there mouse-flavored cat food?

Why didn't Noah swat those two mosquitoes?

Why do they sterilize the needle for lethal injections?

You know that indestructible black box that is used on airplanes? Why don't they make the whole plane out of that stuff?!

Why don't sheep shrink when it rains?

Why are they called apartments when they are all stuck together?

If con is the opposite of pro,

is Congress the opposite of progress?

If flying is so safe,

why do they call the airport the terminal?


11 Replies

:D :D brilliant, very funny indeed , still laughing yet,, true :D but funny :D i needed that,, Nikkers ,,:)

regards jimmy :D


Glad you enjoyed them Jimmy. I really enjoy all the ones that you come up with too. X


hi Nikkers ,,i looked at them at the right time,i was doing my head in with this darn computer, :D :D it softened the blow lol :D ,, brilliant each and every one :D ,, best regards nik :),, "off to kip now" jimmy :D xxxx


These are so good. Actually your drugstore (our chemists) are the same. Our large one in town has an entrance door at each end, the pharmacy counter is right in the middle. It's so you will have to pass what they sell and hopefully buy something. They are not bothered if you are ill. Profit is all they care about. xxx


You're so right MCO. That's also why they put all the sweets etc near the checkouts. There's nothing so easy as giving a screaming, frustrated child a candy bar to quieten them while you pack, even though all through the store you've been saying "NO you are not having anymore sweets!" Lol

I used to be a "checkout chick" in a big supermarket chain and saw this happening all the time. X


:D the drive in ATM did make me chuckle. It is like the sign on the shop doors no dogs except guide dogs.


That one amused me too, but it's true - I've seen them!


Very observant and amusing Nikkers!D.:D




Glad you enjoyed it. X


Thought they were all really funny...especially the drive-in cash point in Braille...!


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