Did I get it wrong?

Not much fun being in the position of having to tell the other half that the garden needs tidying up for the winter, especially having celebrated 55 years of marriage only three short days ago.

I never realised how much I had denied my wife her own free will, or selfishly considered that lots of things around the house were man things when something . . . . . Shall we say, ‘ needed doing’.

Never once did I give the dear lady a chance to do things for herself.

Even now anything computer wise or the social media leaves her bewildered and myself more frustrated for not having helped her when I could.

As for my own brain these days? Well it feels that it has rehoused itself in something more like an overgrown turnip.

Over a cup of coffee I tried to bring her up to date with the iplayer and how she could still watch programmes that she might have missed over the last couple of days, “Why should I learn all that? I have you.” she replied. “I don’t want to hear anymore, we’ve been together too long and I can’t think of being without you. I wouldn't know what I would do without you in my life”.

I had to look away.

There are many things I could perhaps believe in but nothing seems to have changed to give me that hope. Starvation, illness and war beset the planet. People get rich and live and die in luxury while the poor remain poor and will simply just fade away.

I was lucky enough to meet and marry an angel.

................ but who is going to remind her about the fuse in a three pin plug?

14 Replies

  • Brilliant. :)

  • Congrats on the 55 yrs of marriage , and a lovely way to put things ,when u talk like that I can see how u've managed 55 yrs together, priceless, I let my hubby do lots of the man jobs ( which some I am capable of doing or was shud I say was ) and there's some I won't do lol. He won't talk about anything bad that's happening with me, although deep down he knows I'm not good and won't improve ( unless I have a transplant and it works ) so we will plod on as we are and after 23 yrs of being together I can say I love him to bits too. Take care x Sonia x

  • Aaaaah - how lovely. :)

  • Really enjoyed that read eightyplus.Wow 55years and counting eh congratulations may you have many more years to teach your wife how to wire a plug etc :P Stay happy and breathe easy :) Janexx

  • That story is beautiful, it made me think and brought tears to my eyes. xx

  • Congratulations on 55 years together. :-)

    That reminded me of a conversation I had with my dad when he was really ill. He worried mum wouldn't be able to cope. They were married 50 years.

  • Hi Eightyplus

    Congratulations on 55 years of marriage. We've been married 33 and for me it is my husband I worry about. I am trying to educate him to throw away bad food from the fridge. I'm sure he thinks that the fridge fairies check the dates and smell the food before throwing it out. I have suggested countries he could visit when I am no longer around and I have even suggested the neighbour opposite as a potential future wife! He seems not to want the freedom but wants more around for longer. So that is what I'll try to do: live. Sorry, I'm not my usual positive self.



  • Hello Mandy. Sorry you are not feeling your usual self, it seems so unfair that we have such personal worries when most of us are so ill.

    I too sometimes feel rather quiet and just want to let go, then I see my bride of over half a century and the love wells up in me and bursts the dark shadows surrounding me and I'm ready to take battle again.

    Love is everything and it's right to share it.

  • Hi eighty plus, you have written some very true words from the heart, doesn't this god awful disease or any other Chronic disease make you sit and wonder if we would have done some things differently if we had known whats was to be, but such is life !! we must and have to make the most of what we have now got, yesterday is history , tomorrow is not yet here, live every moment of TODAY, Congratulations to you both xxx Carol

  • Hi Mandy, Know exactly where you are coming from I have the same, but I am also sure its because they need me so much that I have the zest for life more than I probably would have done if that was not the case, so I try like you to stay positive and suffer sometimes in silence, thank god for this site. hugs take care Carol xx

  • What a lovely post - did you dare mention the fuse in a three pin plug? Have a fab day xx

  • The one thing I still won't let Sue near is my tractor ..... it ain't going to happen.

  • That brought tears to my eyes actually....even though it was lovely to read xxxx

  • You write beautifully eightyplus, you say so much in so few words xx

You may also like...