~~~~~~~~~~TWO FOR THE PRICE OF ONE TODAY~ ACTUALLY THERE IS NO CHARGE

[KingoftheCocktails]

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~The First Headache

God said ''Go down into the valley''

''What's a valley? ''asked Adam and God explained it to him.

Then God said ''Cross the river.''

''What's a river?'' asked Adam and God explained it to him.

Then God told Adam, ''On the other side of the hill, you will find a cave,''

''What's a cave?'' asked Adam, and God explained that to him.

''In the cave you will find a woman,'' said God.

''What's a woman ?'' asked Adam

So God explained that to him and said,'' I want you to reproduce.''

''How do I do that?'' asked Adam So God explained'

So off went Adam down into the valley across the river and over the hill

and into the cave and found a woman

Five minutes later he was back

God said angrily, ''What is it now?''

And Adam said ''What's a headache/

**********************************************************************************

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~GIRL ON A PLANE.

An atheist was seated next to a little girl on an airplane and he turned to her and said

''Do you want to talk? Flights go quicker if you strike up a conversation

with your fellow passenger.''

The little girl who had just started to read her book, replied to the total stranger,

''What would you like to talk about?''

''Oh I don't know,'' said the atheist. ''How about why there is no God, or no Heaven or Hell, or no life after death?'' as he smiled smugly.

''Okay'' she said ''Those could be interesting topics but let me ask you a question first..

A horse, a cow, and a deer all eat the same stuff-grass. Yet a deer excretes little pellets, while a cow turns out a flat patty, but a horse produces clumps. Why do you suppose that is?''.

The atheist, visibly surprised by the little girls intelligence, thinks about it and says

''Hmmm I have no Idea.'' to which the little girl replies,

''Do you really feel qualified to discuss God, Heaven and Hell or life after death

when you don't know poo ?''

And then went back to reading her book

******************************************************************************************

KOTC .

[alanjudy]

Love it

[KingoftheCocktails in reply to alanjudy]

Kids can always make us laugh Judith

[Mocarey]

Yes me too! What a clever wee girl! M

[KingoftheCocktails in reply to Mocarey]

Very,very smart, it wasn't you Mocarey as a kid ,was it?

[mahunamoon]

hhahahahahahahah very good thanks

[KingoftheCocktails in reply to mahunamoon]

Have you got a headache? mahunamoon

[mahunamoon in reply to KingoftheCocktails]

Noooooooooo since when do dragons get a headache lol

[KingoftheCocktails in reply to mahunamoon]

You tell me if you know!!!!

[Hidden]

Oh yes KOTC. The ability to give a smartass answer just at the right time. Shame I don't have that ability, not until about half an hour too late. I'll be laughing at these all day/

[KingoftheCocktails in reply to Hidden]

It gets me into trouble sometimes poemsgalore, particularly from the wife.Ouch.

[longlungs]

Brilliant loved them both KOTC Janexx

[KingoftheCocktails in reply to longlungs]

Two for one can't be bad Jane

[Hidden]

I am def going to retire Well your majesty . Berwick.

[KingoftheCocktails in reply to Hidden]

Would you like a Knighthood Berwick?

[Hidden in reply to KingoftheCocktails]

No thanks not my scene

[KingoftheCocktails in reply to Hidden]

You were titled through the ranks ,weren't you?

[Hidden in reply to KingoftheCocktails]

that's a big NO.What I got was what I worked for and bloody hard work

[KingoftheCocktails in reply to Hidden]

Didn't we all !

[glesgajohn]

lol pmsl , humour @ its best , thanx

[KingoftheCocktails in reply to glesgajohn]

Thank you glesgajohn

[appyalison]

Hilarious king. Thank you. Alison

[KingoftheCocktails in reply to appyalison]

Cheers Alison keep smiling

[junespoon]

Great, Just trying to tell them right to my friend,!! always forget the punch line.X

[KingoftheCocktails in reply to junespoon]

Keep trying junespoon.

[ptliverpool]

Don't know about forgetting the punch line , I forget the joke most of the time! I do enjoy them though. Long may the King (& Berwick) reign as the bearers of our fun and laughter.

[KingoftheCocktails in reply to ptliverpool]

and all the rest of the funny posters on here

[junespoon in reply to ptliverpool]

To right.

[Mavary]

Very funny yet again. I never remember jokes when I have been told them.

[KingoftheCocktails in reply to Mavary]

Shall I try ventriloquism for you Mavary

[Mavary in reply to KingoftheCocktails]

I don't think I could hear that.

[KingoftheCocktails in reply to Mavary]

Have you heard it yet.I've given you a little time

[undine]

very good thanks xx

[KingoftheCocktails in reply to undine]

Cheap at half of twice the price undine.