British Lung Foundation
33,721 members41,197 posts

~~~~~~~~~~TWO FOR THE PRICE OF ONE TODAY~ ACTUALLY THERE IS NO CHARGE

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~The First Headache

God said ''Go down into the valley''

''What's a valley? ''asked Adam and God explained it to him.

Then God said ''Cross the river.''

''What's a river?'' asked Adam and God explained it to him.

Then God told Adam, ''On the other side of the hill, you will find a cave,''

''What's a cave?'' asked Adam, and God explained that to him.

''In the cave you will find a woman,'' said God.

''What's a woman ?'' asked Adam

So God explained that to him and said,'' I want you to reproduce.''

''How do I do that?'' asked Adam So God explained'

So off went Adam down into the valley across the river and over the hill

and into the cave and found a woman

Five minutes later he was back

God said angrily, ''What is it now?''

And Adam said ''What's a headache/

**********************************************************************************

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~GIRL ON A PLANE.

An atheist was seated next to a little girl on an airplane and he turned to her and said

''Do you want to talk? Flights go quicker if you strike up a conversation

with your fellow passenger.''

The little girl who had just started to read her book, replied to the total stranger,

''What would you like to talk about?''

''Oh I don't know,'' said the atheist. ''How about why there is no God, or no Heaven or Hell, or no life after death?'' as he smiled smugly.

''Okay'' she said ''Those could be interesting topics but let me ask you a question first..

A horse, a cow, and a deer all eat the same stuff-grass. Yet a deer excretes little pellets, while a cow turns out a flat patty, but a horse produces clumps. Why do you suppose that is?''.

The atheist, visibly surprised by the little girls intelligence, thinks about it and says

''Hmmm I have no Idea.'' to which the little girl replies,

''Do you really feel qualified to discuss God, Heaven and Hell or life after death

when you don't know poo ?''

And then went back to reading her book

******************************************************************************************

KOTC .

33 Replies
oldestnewest

Love it

Reply

Kids can always make us laugh Judith

Reply

Yes me too! What a clever wee girl! M

Reply

Very,very smart, it wasn't you Mocarey as a kid ,was it?

Reply

hhahahahahahahah very good thanks

Reply

Have you got a headache? mahunamoon

Reply

Noooooooooo since when do dragons get a headache lol

Reply

You tell me if you know!!!!

Reply

Oh yes KOTC. The ability to give a smartass answer just at the right time. Shame I don't have that ability, not until about half an hour too late. I'll be laughing at these all day/

Reply

It gets me into trouble sometimes poemsgalore, particularly from the wife.Ouch.

Reply

Brilliant loved them both KOTC :) Janexx

Reply

Two for one can't be bad Jane

Reply

I am def going to retire Well your majesty . Berwick.

Reply

Would you like a Knighthood Berwick?

Reply

No thanks not my scene

Reply

You were titled through the ranks ,weren't you?

Reply

that's a big NO.What I got was what I worked for and bloody hard work

1 like
Reply

Didn't we all !

Reply

lol pmsl , humour @ its best , thanx

1 like
Reply

Thank you glesgajohn

Reply

Hilarious king. Thank you. :-) :-) Alison

Reply

Cheers Alison keep smiling

Reply

Great, Just trying to tell them right to my friend,!! always forget the punch line.X

Reply

Keep trying junespoon.

Reply

Don't know about forgetting the punch line , I forget the joke most of the time! I do enjoy them though. Long may the King (& Berwick) reign as the bearers of our fun and laughter.

:)

Reply

and all the rest of the funny posters on here

Reply

To right.

Reply

Very funny yet again. I never remember jokes when I have been told them.

Reply

Shall I try ventriloquism for you Mavary

Reply

I don't think I could hear that.

Reply

Have you heard it yet.I've given you a little time

Reply

very good thanks xx

Reply

Cheap at half of twice the price undine.

Reply

You may also like...