British Lung Foundation
34,243 members41,637 posts

Another 1 from me

After every flight, pilots fill out a form called a gripe sheet, which conveys to the mechanics problems encountered with the aircraft during the flight that need repair or correction.

The engineers read and correct the problem, and then respond in writing on the lower half of the form what remedial action was taken, and the pilot reviews the gripe sheets before the next flight.

Here are some actual logged maintenance complaints and problems as submitted by Qantas pilots and the solution recorded by maintenance engineers.

(P = The problem logged by the pilot)

(S = The solution and action taken by the engineers)

P: Left inside main tyre almost needs replacement.

S: Almost replaced left inside main tyre.

P: Test flight OK, except auto-land very rough.

S: Auto-land not installed on this aircraft.

P: Something loose in cockpit.

S: Something tightened in cockpit.

P: Autopilot in altitude-hold mode produces a 200 feet per minute descent.

S: Cannot reproduce problem on ground.

P: Evidence of leak on right main landing gear.

S: Evidence removed.

P: DME volume unbelievably loud.

S: DME volume set to more believable level.

P: Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick.

S: That's what they're there for.

P: IFF inoperative.

S: IFF always inoperative in OFF mode.

P: Suspected crack in windshield.

S: Suspect you're right.

P: Number 3 engine missing.

S: Engine found on right wing after brief search.

P: Aircraft handles funny.

S: Aircraft warned to straighten up, fly right, and be serious.

P: Target radar hums.

S: Reprogrammed target radar with lyrics.

P: Mouse in cockpit.

S: Cat installed.

P: Noise coming from under instrument panel. Sounds like a midget pounding on something with a hammer.

S: Took hammer away from midget.

19 Replies


Going to bed chuckling

Tina :)


sleep well Tina x


Thanks Ann my hubby will enjoy this one, he,s an aircraft fitter lol



It makes it funnier as they are real ones. :)


Laughing makes me cough so I had a good cough !!!!


glad to be of service :)


Very amusing - thanks. :)


This blog should come with a warning - do not read just before going to bed - otherwise the laughing will wake you up again - cup of coffee time then for me :)


that's if you can stop laughing long enough to get to sleep to start with :) that coffee is really going to help hehehehe

Ann x


Now would you believe it - I am weird lol Coffee has never had that effect on me !


That makes 2 of us


Weird is good :) Keeps life interesting does weird !


much more fun :)


Excellent, thanks!

Jude (now suffering with face ache lol)


Hilarious thanks! :)


Brilliant, thank you for those!

Gina x


LOL very funny thank you - although not sure I would want to fly with Quantas now - especially after 'auto land very rough' - 'no auto land installed on this plane'? - worrying - still doubtful I will be flying anywhere for a long time.

I would love to copy these to send on but as I have asked before but no one replied - I have no idea how to. If I right click can only 'Select all' which gives me the whole page, all comments everything, if I try to just select with the left then click the right what I have highlighted disappears - help anyone please ...


Highlight what you want to copy then right click you should see copy, I usually have note pad or something open to paste it to. forgot to mention left click and scroll the text you want to copy to highlight it, hope that helps.

Ann x


I don't think I want to fly


You may also like...