Heart failure - Googled

[Heartandflowers]

I’ve been very up and down since my severe HA. When it happened I was told part of my heart is dead and is working at 35% but has since after 4 months (shown on the Echo C) increased to 40% with meds and my daily walk. I recently had a blood test and BNP came up and I googled it and HF yesterday and I am now terrified with what I read. Please can anyone give me any help as I am so upset.

[Chinkoflight]

Hi Heartandflowers, Firstly can I say how brilliant it is that you have increased your heart fitness through daily exercise. Hold on to that. You are clearly taking responsibility for your own health as well as the ongoing medical support. That's a massive thing to do and you mustn't lose sight of that.But you are on a shocking journey since your heart attack, one that from my own experience is very hard to get your head around. There are good days and bad days, good weeks and bad weeks.....

I've had a health emergency continuous three years since turning 70. Stroke, followed by Afib diagnosis, then gallbladder removal and finally a year ago a sudden cardiac arrest. All out of the blue without warning or symptoms. Prior to 70 little or no engagement with the health services.

After the stroke I went into a serious improve my health heart programme which was really life affirming, taking up running (very slowly!) for the first time in my life. It got me out and mixing with others through Parkrun/Parkwalk in particular.

I was reassured by medication along with my obviously improved health indicators. Weight loss without dieting, fewer aches and pains ( which was a surprise and a boost)

The SCA was a massive setback as it happened on a Parkrun, and never diagnosed in terms of a name, but investigations showed the consequences to be a damaged heart and reduced function.

I was told by one cardiologist that I could continue running, but maybe at a more reduced burden which was fine. So maintenance rather than improvement was the aim.

However, this January leading up to the anniversary of the event I have to confess to being quite low for me, and no matter how much counselling I gave myself and reflection etc I haven't managed to shake it off. It's the fear of another event which is just unpredictable.

I know (hope?) I will get beyond this phase and perk up. Wrapping myself in cotton wool is actually more likely to be harmful for my health than being fully active again. But I'll set small goals that are achievable rather than think I can get back to how I was. It's a start to change my way of thinking.

Your horse sounds a great motivator. You might want to reflect more deeply on all the different aspects of that relationship , maybe that you took for granted, and start by getting back to do the easier things first.

Worry and fear will hinder your heart recovery because of hormones and stress levels etc, so do try and actively work your way through it.

And me, I'm off for a longer walk this afternoon thinking about whether to have the wind in my face or behind me.

#chinkoflight

[Heartandflowers in reply to Chinkoflight]

Thank you so much for taking the time to reply, you are so positive in what you say to me and it is very comforting.

You have not had an easy time of it but are working so hard to get better. Same for me I was fit and healthy until last year and at age 69 this happened. I’d always been so fit and healthy riding, working full time and going at life 100 miles an hour!

It has all taken such a toll on my mental health I only just recognised this at Christmas time, I was trying to be okay but clearly wasn’t! I can relate to what you say about the fear!

My horse is signed off work too, he has cushings disease which makes him prone to laminitis. He is under Oakham Vets who are marvellous. I will never be able to ride him again, which I am very sad about. I bought him when he was 7 he is 25 now,

You have done amazingly well with your great attitude, I have read your words over and over again. Thank you so much for your kind lovely message.

Have a good walk, I’m going to go out shortly for my second walk today.

Debbie💕

[Chinkoflight in reply to Heartandflowers]

Hi Debbie, I look for my #chinkoflight to help lift me. This one has always been there for me at Tennyson Down and it popped out again this afternoon on what has been a very grey day. I'm sorry to hear about your horse but I guess you have a bond that can't be broken whatever the circumstance. Take care Nigel

[Heartandflowers in reply to Chinkoflight]

Hey Nigel I looked at what keeps you going, at Chinkoflight I don't really understand 😳but I was a Trekki once upon a time ! Tennyson Down is stunning one of those places that take your breath away, Alfred Lord Tennyson and I are from the same ‘ neck of the woods’. Yes my horse and I do have a bond, he is very intelligent and he has a brilliant sense of humour. I’ll be seeing him tomorrow 😁. Yes, such a grey day but I did enjoy it, it makes such a difference when you can speak to someone who understands . Thank you again

[Chinkoflight in reply to Heartandflowers]

After my stroke , in one of those low moments I needed a chink of light to illuminate a way out of the gloom. Walking up on Tennyson on a grey day quite literally there it was an actual chink of light. I took a photo and as my son's seem to do all the time on Instagram they find a # for everything and they make them up if there isn't one already. So examples are #explorebeforeyoupour. #shortdayout #longdayout. I thought somebody would have already tagged #chinkoflight but it seems not.More importantly, it must be a geographicical phenomena , there is very often a chink of light looking out from the Monument. It's become symbolic for me and very uplifting. I take a photo every time. And above all I'm still alive to see it!

[PadThaiNoodles in reply to Chinkoflight]

You can also look up "green flash", which is another, similar, atmospheric phenomena.

[Heartandflowers]

Hi Nigel, I looked up chinko flight! Isn’t it crazy how things can be misconstrued when messaging! Now Chink of Light makes sense 😁. It does sound mysterious that out of the darkest skies there is a chink of light looking out from the monument!

I couldn’t get my head around the fact that I was still alive after my HA they told me my troponin level was 4600 when I was taken in.

Every day I wake up thanking God, I am so lucky to be alive. I need to stop with the stress as it will only make me ill and will not make things better or ease my recovery.

You have really helped me. Knowing how much you are battling as well with similar or same concerns. Stupidly I keep wishing I could turn the clock back and make all this go away! But I can’t. 🐴💕