Hallo thereI'm new to this forum . I think I'm just looking for a bit of morale support as I'm wobbling a little bit. My lovely husband is at this moment undergoing a triple heart by pass and I'm terrified of losing him and what the future holds. I've had very little information from the hospital and don't even know if I'll be able to visit him in ICU later ( or if it's a wise thing to do - I'm thinking he will need his sleep or will be sedated) He means the world to me and all this has been something of a shock to me. He's as skinny as a rake, non smoker , hardly drinks and eats healthily,plus we walk a lot as we have a pooch. It seems a bit unfair but I guess that's life. I'd be really grateful if someone could offer me some hope that things will be ok in the end and how I can best help him .Thankyou
Morale support : Hallo thereI'm new to... - British Heart Fou...
Morale support
I was in your situation 5 weeks ago today when my boyfriend had the same surgery. The surgeon called me after the surgery to let me know the operation had gone well. I had prepared myself for visiting him in ICU & although he had tubes & wires everywhere, I was expecting this & he looked much better than I thought he would. He spent 5 nights in hospital and each day got better & stronger. 5 weeks on and he's had a straight forward recovery so far. Your husband will be fine, he's in safe hands. Do let us know how your husband is doing.
Hello 
Life can be unfair sometimes and when it is it feels so cruel but many of us have had Bypasses on here or partners that have and all doing well you have to try and see this as a new start not something that is going to stop you having a life together with many years to come
It can be hard to get through to the Hospital especially when in ICU but keep trying
He will be out of it but when you do visit be prepared there will be some machines and wires bleeping but it is nothing alarming they are just there so they can keep seeing everything is running smoothly and after a couple of days he will be of them and back on the ward
Anything particular you want to know just ask and we will do our best to answer
Bluey73 as she has said was in your position not long ago and her Boyfriend is doing fantastic now and so will yours
Let us know how he is and how you are to
Thankyou so much for your replies . Yes ,I will look on the positives x
x
Very difficult. Just rang the hospital to see if there is any news and discovered the op has been cancelled for today.
Hello
I am so sorry to hear this and it does happen usually to do with an emergency coming in but it does not help you or your Husband when you have worried and got so close I was lucky mine did not get cancelled but this is something we see happening a lot on posts on here
Have they said when it may happen now ?
I imagine you can visit him this evening and maybe find out more while you are there x
Oh no! How frustrating for you both. I hope it is carried out soon and everything goes well. 🌺
Hi Wheezy , try not to worry too much ! I’m currently recovering at home 10wks post op !
had my triple bypass June 19 th I was in icu for a few days and my partner and daughter visited me in there ! yes a few tubes and machinery ! then I was moved to a ward and the tubes were soon removed as I improved !
Yes it’s a big op but like ur husband I didn’t have a lot of time to get my head around it and I was very nervous !
I’m sure he will be fine and once you see him you will feel better ! Don’t you have a tel num for icu ? if not call main switchboard and ask to be put through !
I wish you and your husband well , please let me know how ur both doing XX
Thankyou x
waiting is the hard bit, late postponement is the pits.
I had my OHS during lock down so on my own. That worked really well. I didn’t know anything until day three. Surgeon rang wife as soon as the op was complete. The success rate is very very good and it is as safe as can be. Own room and the staff were just fabulous.
Four years on I have no heart probs.
Slim build will be helpful when it comes to rehab.
Sooty
I had a quad at 70. Although major, its a relatively straightforward operation conducted by surgeons at the peak of their abilities. The fact that your husband is fit should help a lot.
He should be out around 4 days after the op but it is his homecoming you need to prepare for.
Several comfortable seats as what suits in the morning might not be by afternoon. Entertainment to hand. Ideally easy access to the Bathroom. Small but frequent snacks. Gentle exercise.
Keep a health diary so you can both see the improvements as often it is 2 steps forward and one back, which is disheartening . Make sure he doesn't try to do too much which includes lifting a heavy filled kettle. You should get hospital exercise notes.
I found having a target within the guidelines to be useful, for example being able to walk to a favourite coffee shop in week 1 or 2 then one a bit further away
He will likely be uncomfortable and I found sleeping by myself to be best as I was very restless and found my sleeping pattern interrupted. He will likely be anxious, emotional and perhaps short tempered but that will wear off.
Thankyou so much. This is very helpful x
My wife had a different op (aortic valve replacement) about 18 months ago. She was in hospital for 7 days, some slight complications extended it by a couple of days. The hospital was incredibly impressive in how they dealt with both her and me. The exercise booklet, with lots of very small increases was very helpful, especially in emphasising not to try too much too soon. I worried about the journey home, in particular what to do about the seat belt......but it was successfully negotiated. I echo the point about different comfortable places: we also found a triangular pillow to be probably the most useful aid. Separate beds for a few days also meant we didn't disturb each other.
18 months on it is remarkable how fully recovered she is. Neither of us realised how ill she had become because of the long slow decline, and the change now is remarkable.
I would also praise highly the support from this forum.
My Dad had quadruple bypass and I had mitral valve repair. It is harder immediately post surgery as a family member than as a patient. He will have all the care and support needed but for you it will be an emotional experience. Everything will be in turmoil for a while so keep in touch and reach out when necessary. Next year you’ll be supporting someone else xx
Thankyou for your support. Yes I think you are right
I had a double bypass, the recovery for me was tough. My leg where they took one vessel did swell and I developed haemotomas. My GP checked me out for deep vein thrombosis but I had the all clear.
13 months on I am sitting at the Airport ready to fly to Chania in Crete which was postponed last year due to my CAD.
I now cycle daily yesterday I did 2 bike rides with a combined distance of 66kms.
On the plus side during my repeat scans two nodules were found on my lungs and I am going for a repeat scan to check these haven't grown.
Many on here will describe it as a rebirth and I fully agree.
Thinking of your husband and you. I was there in 2017 and know that it can be an anxious time for all.Rest assured that your husband is being cared for by the best surgeons and medical staff. Your being there will be a real support to him and mean so much during recovery. With lots of best wishes to you both during the coming weeks.
Thankyou. That really helps. X
I was in this situation just over 2 years ago I was the one having the emergency bypass surgery and my hubby was where you are now,
What I can say it for me it was comforting to have my husband visit me he held my hand and talked to me, i have always said to my hubby if I need this surgery again I want him with me as much as he can I felt safe with him there if that makes sense.
I spent a few days in hospital when I came out of ITU and each day I grew stronger
We have two beagles and live nothing more than long walks when we can
I wish your hubby a speedy recovery 😊
I fully understand your worries and fears. But as hard as it is try and be positive. Your husband is having is operation and will be well cared for in ICU. Yes it will be scary seeing him covered in wires and machines making noises all around . But they will take very good care of him . But you must make sure you look after yourself and have drinks and healthy food. And talk to your husband even if his asleep as it will make you feel better .
My husband was fit and healthy and I was born disabled with a hole in the side of my heart . I was prepared to die first . But life isn't fair as it was my fit healthy husband who got cancer and we knew from the start he wouldn't live 5 years he lived 3. Once he was terminal he said at his last Christmas he wanted to get to his birthday. Which was February we got him there and he died at home with me and our children 4 days after his 47th birthday.
Your husband's operation once healed will give him a new sense of life and you will have many more years ahead of you doing all the things your husband's health has probably stopped him up to now. Please don't live with what ifs or if onlies as you will miss the now and your future together.
Yes it is horrible when the love of your life dies . The moment my husband took his last breath half of me died to and my present and future. And it's hard making a new life and grieving is exhausting and as the years go by my grief gets worse but my love for my husband has never faulted. But he was a wise man and knew what he needed to live without him and that was a series of promises and have kept everyone for the last 20.5 years.
You will both have your good and bad days as he recovers but look to the future ahead of you both and make use of every minute . You both have many more years of loving each other but that doesn't mean you don't nag or have disagreements . And he will once completely healed and done all the exercises be fitter than ever .
All my best to you both and your life together . 🌹
Thankyou do much. What a heartfelt reply. I wish you well xx
Try to ignore fears and be as positive as you can. It is a very hard time for you but his life, and so yours, may wel improve rather than worsen. Very best wishes, Tavishock
Hi I had my triple bypass in November 22 for me the waiting was the scariest part I was terrified but I found this forum and everyone was so supportive and helpful. My recovery took a bit longer due to other health issues and minor complications but each day there was improvement and I felt stronger. Everyone is different and some recover quicker than others it takes time but he will get there at his own pace.
It’s very frustrating that his surgery has been cancelled, thankfully I never experienced that but I feel for you. I do hope his surgery goes ahead next week and all goes well and he is home with you very soon. Cardio rehab is brilliant so if he is offered that he should take it. I wish him a speedy recovery, best wishes to you both and look after yourself also. Keep us updated take care 😊🌞X
Thankyou
My husband's CABG is not till October when he will be 79. I have all the feelings you are expressing and, despite his age, my husband is fit and healthy (slim, never smoked, drinks less than the recommended amount, mediterranean diet) Very sadly we lost our dog a couple of weeks ago which has been very distressing but he still goes out with his other dog walking friends every day. Everyone says the waiting is the worst and now, with this postponement, doubly worrying. Try to keep in mind that this is an operation with a very high success rate done by very experienced teams Do keep us updated. And try not to worry??
Hi, I had a bypass surgery in June this year. I was woken from sedation around 7am in ICU following surgery the day before. I was sat in a chair by 8 and eating breakfast by half past. I went for a walk around the ICU at 11am and my wife visited at 4pm. I was moved to a cardiac ward the following morning and went home 2 days later. Now 11 weeks post op and 5 weeks into cardio rehab. Yes, it was uncomfortable and I still get twinges but I'm largely back to doing most of the things I was doing pre surgery. It was not as bad as I anticipated. The secret, accept help, take it easy and walk a little further each day. If it hurts, stop doing whatever it is you are doing. My wife was happy to let me out on my own with the dog after 2 weeks - but he is an old dog, a bit like me. 😁
My husband called icu on the day of my surgery, they gave me the phone for a minute to talk to him. He came in the next morning, I was out of it and falling asleep every other minute. He needed to see me for reassurance, but it bothered me not staying awake long enough to talk to him after he had driven 2 hours to see me. I was fine in the grand scheme of things, stayed in 6 days and then recovery at home. I had so many tubes i looked like an octopus, so don't worry when you see them all, it's normal. Good luck x
First thing...do not worry. What he's undergoing or undergone is, to the people who are performing it absolutely routine. You will not lose him.
I went through the same operation a couple of years ago and found that the whole procedure was nowhere near as bad as I initially feared. If you click on my previous posts (there aren't many) you can read my account of that time.
As for paying a visit to the ICU, that won't be a problem. In fact if anything it will reassure you that hubby will be back home washing the dishes before you know it. He'll definitely be as groggy as groggy can be. The Anaesthetic does take quite a bit of time to wear off and is completely normal.
To summarise; by Christmas all being well (which in over 95% of cases is the outcome) any pain will have gone, any physical restrictions will be thing of the past and you'll both be sipping the sherry having a good laugh about last August.....and...his health will be better than it's been for a long time.
What a lovely reply. Thankyou so much for this. It makes me feel reassured that all will be well in the end x
I’m in hospital now recovering from a double bypass and it’s been textbook treatment. Staff have been brilliant and the surgeons work as though they are superhuman. For them it’s a calling not a job. The odd setback ensues but I had my surgery Tuesday , and pain free already and was due to go home today but delayed 24 hours to see if a blood test is trending towards an infection. All being well I’ll be home tomorrow.
Heart patients couldn’t be in better hands and I’m certain it’s the case for your husband.
I am so sorry but you just have to breathe deeply and stay calm for both of you. I am sure everyone here wishes you the best of luck. Keep us informed. Just read that the op has been cancelled for today. Not good but very important to keep going and be positive.
reading all these replies is so helpful - but as the partner you really are the one left worrying . I had a valve replaced two years ago and my husband was left dangling and worried . He couldn’t visit me as Covid was around and we just had the phone .
I think it’s so much worse for the partners .
Your husband is going to get the best care possible these incredible nhs surgeons do this as their day jobs and they are simply the best .
Look to his recovery - look to your future together you have years left and good healthy ones together to enjoy . I understand your feelings of unfairness I felt them too but that’s life and now two years down the road I feel so lucky . We celebrated our 40th anniversary this year in Mexico and re sewed our vows surrounded by friends and family in June - life is good and yours will be too ! Make it count it’s a second chance enjoy it together .
Good luck take care and here’s to a great future together x
Not what you're looking for?
You may also like...
Update on me
Heart advice ....
In-hospital vs at-home post-AVR support?
Not sure what to feel
Aortic valve replacement
Depressed husband needs help
Next day update 
Worried for my dad 
