Anxiety is always Anxiety

[Ade912]

Am 53, from Lincolnshire physically active, not over weight, never smoked… I work with in the building trade… In 2007 after strange overwhelming feelings of being unwell, many many tests, heart, bloods, ent, I even paid privately for a brain scan as I believed there was something wrong …. I was finally diagnosed with Anxiety……. Omg mental health, it’s all in your head, there’s no such thing , it’s just an excuse….How wrong I was… it changed my life…. The mental fear was overwhelming that something bad was going to happen to me , impending doom my heart would stop, I wouldnt wake up , am having a stroke ….. I stopped my hobbies, swimming, flying, specials…. I didn’t go in shops, n never queued…. I lost weight, I’d lost me as the person I was n my poor infant children who didn’t understand, I couldn’t be the father I wanted to be …. Time and years went by, still copping as after a course of Cbt which wasn’t a fix but helped your rationalise your irrational thoughts….. so if I did have a chest pain or heart flutter I will try and rationalise it and think I’m not gonna die it’s just indigestion and everything will be okay and I wouldn’t wind up in the state of Overwhelming fear… my life was based n safety n the nearest escape route… I needed some near me all the time just in case….. of the dreaded…time went by n this was my life ….

I write this whilst still in bed, 2 weeks ago whilst a had a weeks work in London with my brother….. he drove there as that’s one of my biggest fears too, feeling a little under the weather, no big deal I had to be up at 3am, put it down to tiredness…. Slight ache in my glands under jaw… we got to the job 4 hours later n work commenced , still felt the same but with a little chest pain ….i worked on , I rationalise indigestion no big deal nothing bad’s gonna happen…. I was hot, but I put it down to work I was doing….. still feeling the same time to find our accommodation…. Whilst outside I went a little faint n had to lay on the pavement with my legs up, embarrassing but I was ok after 15 mins, we got to the accommodation n I laid on the bed, I said to my brother I have a ibuprofen and then we go out for a beer and tea soon…. I still felt the same , and he persuaded me to dial 111….. within 15 minutes there was an ambulance here , there wired me all up , gave me a good check, they looked at each other( I was thinking I’m waiting for the embarrassing remark that I just suffering with anxiety,which I had rationalised all day it was)

I was having a Heart attack (stemi)n had been so all day…… my worst fear, my body then went into shock n couldn’t stop shaking… I was in unfamiliar territory, they blue n twos to Hammersmith cardiac ward hospital where I was fitted with an emergency stent with in the hour……. 2 days later I had a further 2 more stents.

2 weeks on am still laying a lot in bed due to the cocktail of medication which has given me severe pain gout in my ankle n knee… I start cardio rehab in few weeks , my anxiety is pretty high n am very worried about the future…. The cardiac team at Hammersmith were brilliant…. I didn’t want to leave as I felt safe there…. So this being my story Anxiety isn’t always Anxiety

[BeKind28-]

Hello

I am so sorry to hear what has happened to you and I can relate to so much in your post

I have always had anxiety from a young child one was health anxiety which is still crippling but like you with therapy never cured it but got to the stage where I learnt how to rationalize my thoughts and fears about my health where it kept it under some kind of control

Even was doing the writing the list of what you think you have or have had and have you had them made sense as the answer was no

Then I took ill deep down I knew something was really wrong yet Doctors told me I had an infection and gave me meds that resulted in been rushed into resuscitation and then ICU I have never been so frightened trying to get what felt like my last breath all this resulted in the health anxiety rationalizing things going straight out the window

Eventually when I got home my breathing was still not good again I knew deep down something was wrong but kept been told it was from my pneumonia and my anxiety was making it worse but a year later I had my first heart attack followed closely by two more and then a triple Bypass

It can be so hard to seperate anxiety from something been actually wrong as I know if every time I felt something I rushed to Hospital I would be moving in there

So true sometimes anxiety can actually be something else but how do you seperate them I am still trying to work that one out have been for years now

For me though I now live in total fear everyday even after I have had a triple Bypass I am also agoraphobic so missed out on Rehab but from what I read that will help you so much

It is early days for you try and just move around a little bit set small goals to do while you are waiting for Rehab

If the pain is so bad maybe talk to the Doctor it could be one of the meds I know I was in a lot of pain and had to have the dose of my statin reduced which now I can just about tolerate so see how it goes but if it does not improve don't be afraid to let them know as laying in bed in pain will not help your recovery

It is so hard when you have anxiety and your mind starts thinking about the future as anxiety gives us such negative thoughts but there are so many members that go on to have a better life than what they were having before their heart events and there is no reason why you wont to but your anxiety like mine will try and say otherwise

Get therapy again if you feel given time you are not moving forward but for now take it a day at a time and please keep us updated how you are getting on x

[meadfoot]

Sorry to hear you have been through so much over the years and your current situation has been awful. So pleased you have had good care at Hammersmith. Finding a sound way forward for both your physical and emotional health now is vital. You need sound support in the coming weeks and months to set mind and body up to conquer this.

I have become increasingly fed up with the ‘anxiety card’ being played, its become almost expected as a suggestion and it is far from always being valid. If in doubt blame anxiety and woe betide anyone with known and accepted anxiety ever presenting with a physical ailment as its so easy to add that label and dismiss physical causes.

We all know anxiety can manifest with physical symptoms but when medics cant find a physical cause dont give up and put it down to ‘just anxiety’. We deserve better and a thorough work up to get to the bottom of health issues first before adding the anxiety label. Wishing you well.

[EduardM]

I’m so sorry to hear what you’ve been going through. I had a heart attack just recently. I’m sure it was anxiety that brought it on as I’m an otherwise healthy 60 year old woman. I had more classic symptoms, chest pain and very painful left arm. Just know you’ve had great treatment. Now you’re adjusting to a new situation where the thing you were dreading is being taken care of. I can understand how you feel, the slightest twinge signifies something. I think it’s our bodies healing! Good to keep talking about it I think especially with others who understand all the anxieties. I hope you start to feel a bit better.

[Stentsandrun in reply to EduardM]

Might I ask, what was your actual diagnoses for the heart attack? As far as I am aware, only chronic anxiety can contribute to the risk factors for heart disease, not itself cause a heart attack?

[Ade912 in reply to Stentsandrun]

You’re correct…. The Anxiety I’ve had for many years was a fear of having a heart attack or stroke…. So the day when I had the heart attack (stemi) which I had been rationalising all day n put it down to Indigestion… within the hour of reaching the cardiac ward I had a emergency stent fitted to a blocked artery and then a further two stents fitted two days later…. In fact, two weeks today it was.

[Stentsandrun in reply to Ade912]

Chronic anxiety over many years, apparently, can cause symptoms (for example high blood pressure plus others) that can lead to CHD, so it may just be coincidence that you ended up having a HA or it may also be it caused it. I agree with others comments, when the ambulance crew came out to me first time they were convinced my symptoms (similar to yours) were down to anxiety, as I sat there with 97% blocked LAD unknown to them, with perfect ECG etc. It probably does not help NHS staff make diagnoses when there seems to be an increasing level of anxiety generally? Once you have been though this there will always be moments of doubt sadly, I get them all the time mostly while running, fortunately I can work through them.

[EduardM in reply to Stentsandrun]

I haven’t had a full diagnosis yet. It’s very early days. I probably shouldn’t be commenting.

[Milkfairy Heart Star in reply to Stentsandrun]

Just a thought, myocardial infarction non obstructive coronary arteries, MINOCA which account for about 10% of heart attacks, also disproportionately effecting women, can be caused by severe coronary vasospasms.

bhf.org.uk/informationsuppo....

The triggers for coronary vasospasms include emotional, mental and physical stress.

Mental stress has been shown to lead to myocardial ischaemia especially in women.

An acute episode of stress will trigger my coronary vasospasms and land me in hospital with unstable vasospastic angina.

There is also Takostubo syndrome, an acute form of heart failure which can be, but not always, associated with extreme stress.

[EduardM in reply to Milkfairy]

thank you for this information. I was diagnosed with unstable angina but I’m waiting for a follow up appointment where I’m hoping for more insight.